The Challenges That We Face

Dave sez,

Hi! We're Cathy and Dave. We'd been trying to adopt for a very long time. We didn't think we would every have children, until a miracle happened and we were blessed with our son, Justin. He introduced us to our newest addition, Ethan. Justin used to go by the name Georgiy. Ethan used to be known as Shani. When we went to Ukraine to bring Justin home, he introduced us to Ethan as, "This is Shani! My brother!" When we went to bring Ethan home, he introduced us to the girl that will be coming home as our daughter. He said, "Masha. Sister?" For a couple that had nearly given up hope that we would ever have ONE child, we are excited to face the idea that we will be having THREE!

It is amazing to consider God's secret wisdom in the miracle he worked in front of our eyes.

Cathy and I have spent the last few weeks since we came home trying to get over a cold and a long lingering cough. We've been blessed that over the last year, Justin has rarely been sick. He and Ethan are pretty sturdy. they bounce back pretty quickly. Ethan was sick a couple of weeks ago, but managed to rally and bounce back. We took him for his first Chuck E. Cheese! He is right now where Justin was when he first came home. But we've noticed the boys are different as far as maturity. Ethan is not as mature or as developed as his brother. Ethan seems almost infantile. Every thing he does is at an extreme. He's loud; overly enthusiastic, and amazingly enough, nearly everything goes in his mouth. We're pretty sure it's a security thing, that he sucks his thumb at night when he sleeps. He'll sit with his fingers in his mouth. He's a bottomless pit: he is always hungry.

We have three dogs; two bassets, Max and Maize, and a Jack Russell terrier, Peanut. They are adjusting, just like we are. He is so excited and enthusiastic that his affection for them is overwhelming. We've been trying to get him to keep from burying his face in their fur. he comes away from them just covered in fur. he usually does this kind of thing before he has to go any where, like school or church or out. we've had to make him change clothes.

We're trying to get him to "turn down the volume" a little bit, because right now he's dialed to eleven. On top of his enthusiasm, he's always asking questions. Obvious questions. Obvious to us; but, considering that he has only been with us and home a short while, every question has to be respected and answered.

We're trying to help him develop better habits, be thoughtful of others and less selfish, and show initiative.

First Chuck E. Cheese was an experience. Justin is used to getting a handful of tokens an playing the games. We handed Ethan his tokens and told him to go play while I wait for our food and Cathy hits the salad bar. Justin came back with a fistful of tickets, got more tokens and was off again. Ethan came back a few minutes later empty handed for more tokens. I told Cathy I didn't think he knew about the tickets. Justin came back with more tickets and got another handful of tokens. I found Ethan wandering around, watching other kids play games. He did play one game, and walked away when he was done completely ignoring the tickets coming out of the machine. We headed back for more tokens and met Justin at the table. I told him and Cathy what was happening and Justin said, Let me show him what to do. Come on, Ethan, let's go! And they were off.

We had gotten enough tokens that I took ten of Ethan's and headed over to one of the games that is all about tickets. It's that big wheel with the lever. Pull down the lever and you get tickets. It took all ten tokens, but I got him 150 tickets. He was excited, but not nearly as impressed as I thought Cathy and I thought he would be.

We struggle with getting him to listen the first time. It usually takes repeating instructions a half a dozen times before it sinks in. That's pretty true of any kid, even Justin. What we know, is that Justin's tenure has built experience. Ethan is still struggling through initiation and orientation period. His training wheels are pretty much still on.

Last weekend, over the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, we had a sleepover with the Justin's best friend, Alex. It was a weekend filled with sledding, Nerf wars and playoff games. It was great to spend time with Alex's parents, Mike and Andrea. They've been a part of our journey, since introducing us to Justin. we also got a chance to see Annie and Tom and their kids again. When Cathy and I think of the miracle of Justin finding us, we can't help but think of how awesome a gift we've been given. If Justin hadn't come into our lives, we wouldn't have been introduced to Ethan or Masha. We wouldn't have met other parents like us. We would have kept on thinking that we were alone and unique in the situation we were and are in. Annie and Tom blessed us with Justin, who led us to Ethan and Masha.

Watching Ethan with the other boys, he seemed a lot like the "odd man out". It wasn't so much a language barrier, Ethan is just challenged at fitting in. I can identify with that.

This passed weekend our plans changed a little, so we took the boys to Nickelodeon Universe. We'd taken the boys there when we first came home in December, but it was only for a few hours, and Cathy and I spent the time sitting and talking. This was the first trip there as a family where we all got to enjoy the rides. You can see from just a couple of the pictures how much fun we had. There was a little drama and pouting, but fortunately it didn't last long.

One of the great tips that we've learned from other parents like us, is introducing the boys to the concept of "family". When they balk at anything, we now tell them that this is what having parents is like. We are the parents, they are the child. They don't set bedtime or The Rules - we do. Mama and Popi will be respected; and listened to. Trust is going to be a long time in building, but respect has to start here at the beginning. We're still working on respect with Justin, and working on his example to set a good one for Ethan.

All in all, though, the good times far outweigh the bad times. It's great that we can all bounce back from the rough patches that we have.

It's great that every day we can enjoy our "Happily Ever After".