The Last of the Firstest

Dave sez,

Hi! We're Cathy and Dave. Thanks for taking the time to get to know us and our Number One, Justin. We hope that our journey has given you an idea of what adoption - especially, international adoption - and first time parenthood is like. If our story has at all touched you, we hope that it has inspired you.

Cathy and I are having a "discussion". I looked at the calendar and realized that, as we get closer to Justin's 11th birthday - his second here at home - we've come to the end of memorable "firsts".

...like FIRST wrist-band.

It was kind of a last minute idea I had. Cathy couldn't take off work and Justin had a Friday off from summer school, so I thought it would be perfect if he and I went to Country Jam in Eau Claire together. We'd spend the day together. We're still at that bonding stage, where it's important for us to spend as much time together as possible. He hasn't reached a point where he is comfortable, secure and brave enough to sleep in his own room by himself. Either I sleep in there with him on the other bunk bed, or he sleeps with one of us in our bed. That's been going on for nigh unto a year. (I think you know what I'm talking about; wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say-no-more-say-no-more)

Anyway, getting him ready for a FULL day away from home on a bus ride to Wisconsin for an ALL-day outdoor concert was like mobilizing for battle. Portable DVD player - check. DS - check. iPod - check. We both agreed it might be kinda cool to carry along our mitts and a baseball to play catch. He ALWAYS says he's not hungry, until the worst possible moment - when there's really no way to get food - so we stayed one step ahead of him on that. We condensed the refrigerator to a cooler. We pretty much shared all the food...

If you've seen the videos you know how brutal a day it was on both of us. If you haven't...check them out here ~ http://www.youtube.com/user/AirDave817?feature=mhee

He enjoyed Lauren Alaina and Craig Morgan. I don't think there was any way to prepare him for Montgomery Gentry...

I'm okay with Justin not being a fan of Country. Whether or not he is, he will be an individual and express himself in his own unique way, and I will be able to appreciate him that much more, just like I do his mother. Hopefully, one of the lessons he learns is to appreciate the uniqueness of others.

We've been kinda concerned about how to balance his steady diet of electronics while encouraging him to improve his reading skills. He's a boy - boys are naturally more active. It would be a delicate balance to try to get him to sit still long enough to turn pages.

I'm not sure how it happened. Maybe all the time he and I have gone to bed at night at nine, and Mom has sat up a little longer with the bedroom light on reading...maybe she had a subtle influence on him - like erosion - she wore him down. He finally picked up the copy of Diary of a Wimpy Kid we bought him and - - he FINISHED it this morning! He started reading it just a couple of days ago!

We picked up Rodrick Rules at Barnes & Noble, grabbed a bite at the mall food court, then went back for books three four and five after Justin told us he wanted to finish the second book by Friday so he could go see the third movie when it opens this weekend!

I remember MY first books. Strange Companion by Dayton O. Hyde. My Side of the Mountain. Encyclopedia Brown. The Luke Skywalker Chronicles. The Hobbit. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

As an adult, I'm discovering The Chronicles of Narnia, Doctor Who tie-in novels and rediscovering Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings trilogy. One does not SIMPLY walk into Mordor, y'know...

After finishing her degree, Cathy was reading like there was no tomorrow...well until lately but she still gets in a bit of reading every day.

These are the last couple of firsts. We may be surprised by other firsts in the next couple of weeks...but once we celebrate his second birthday with us it's just a matter of time til we're up to our first full year together. Right after his birthday visit, we got our invitation to go over and bring him home. He was HERE three weeks, we were THERE six...and there you are...

August 10th.

October 23rd.

Eyes As big As Saucers...

Donate online to Bringing Shani Home at Razoo

Dave sez,

Hi! We're Cathy and Dave. Thanks for following our continuing adoption journey; with Justin at home and bringing Shani home!

We're coming near the end of a number of "FIRSTS" with Justin. Our first anniversary of his homecoming is coming up in a few months, but we got to celebrate his 10th birthday last August. That was his FIRST birthday with us. Over the last few days we enjoyed a few firsts. Last night was his first Fourth of July Fireworks. He told us that he had seen fireworks at Christmas in the orphanage. But, this was first fireworks with US.

Cathy has been putting off getting new clothes for work. She and I have been making sacrifices and doing without a few things here and there while we're trying to bring both boys home. She couldn't put it off any longer, so last Saturday was FIRST clothes shopping with Mommy. Since the pool is becoming our second home, Cathy told Justin that his pool privilege would be based on his behavior. No rushing Mommy. No complaining. No whining. Then she told Justin the same thing.

Clothes shopping for a guy is easy. It's all just based on size. Find a shirt or a pair of pants that fit - boom you're done. As President Bush said, "It ain't rocket surgery."

Clothes shopping for Mommy is...something else entirely.

We walked into the clothing store and were immediately greeted by the sales associate, who told us about the specials. That only works in a women's clothing store. Unless you're offering an oil change and a car wash - just let me get my jeans in peace, please for the love of all that's holy! There's probably a game on somewhere!

And then, it began.

Justin started a running commentary as Mommy shopped.

"Do you like this, Mommy? You would look SO good in this! This would look SO good on you?" It was the same sound that one hears, first thing in the morning as the sun rises with that first cup of coffee. Birds greeting the rising sun. Singing praises.

The boy has a LOT to learn.

The proper clothes shopping procedure is as follows:

Cathy: Do YOU like this (insert item of clothing here)?

Me: What do YOU think of it?

Cathy then shares what she can mix and match with said item of clothing; what days of the week she can wear it on, the weather that day, and how at the end of that day if the weather is right, I should FINALLY get around to mowing the lawn, instead of keep putting off - what are you waiting for? - The lawn to mow itself? The mower's not going to push itself, mister!

Me: You're gonna look great in that. Why don't you go try that on while sit here and count my blessings - Number One is you, babe!

Cathy goes into the dressing room to try on a couple of tops and Justin finds a corner mirror. Y'know, the one with three sides, so women can see why us guys are always smiling...As he's practicing his karate moves in the mirror, the sales associate comes by and starts asking the ladies in the dressing rooms if they NEED anything, can she get them ANY thing! I'm sitting there, thinking to myself - if I'm tryin' on jeans, I think I'd like a slice of pizza with bacon on it and a beer to wash that bad boy down - hook me up with that, would you?! Get a big screen in here on one of these walls so I don't miss a play! There's a game on SOME where!

Cathy comes out to show off her unique style and taste in apparel and Justin just gushes. Which includes a karate move where his foot comes thisclose to Mommy's tummy. That's love right there. "If I'm HITTING you, I'm LOVING you! If I'm hitting you HARD, I'm loving you A LOT."

Near the front counter, there's a counter with jewelry. There were at least three or four jewelry stores between the food court and the clothing store we shopped.

I now have my Christmas list made out for me, with a MAP. "Popi! We need to come back here and buy presents - plural - for Mommy!"

Now, I'll be the FIRST to admit that I'm no rocket-surgeon. Half of the adventures I have are sitcom funny because of the things I do to myself. I'm my own worst enemy.

I'm either, A) not charging my phone enough; 2) charging it for LONG enough; or D) my battery is near the end of it's life and I need to get a new one.

I had to work on location yesterday. I was at a car wash for their annual fourth of July customer appreciation day. Free car wash, free food. Fortunately, it is not too far from the house. we drive by it all the time.

To check in with the studio, We use the phone. I call the studio, the studio calls me. This would be the ONE time I would NEED a fully charge on my phone. After the first call, I notice my phone has one bar. So, my brain starts thinking about solutions. Cathy decided to go into work to catch up on a few things, so if I had called her, she would have just laughed. I didn't expect anyone inside the car wash to have a charger that would work on my phone, and I don't like looking unprepared in front of a client, so I thought I would take a risk. I called the house. I asked Justin to find my phone charger on the kitchen counter and ride it over to me. This would be an epic adventure that he would just love. He could ride his bike. I walk him through where I am from where he is at home. Time passes. My phone completely dies. I call the house again from inside. I hear this small voice tell me, "Popi, I don't know how to find you!" So, I give him the option to stay home and I'll be okay. "No! No! I want to find you! Where are you?" Cue the horns for the Superman: The movie theme. Okay. I walk him through how to find me. A few minutes pass and I hear this wind. It's my boy on his bicycle zooming toward me and he has the biggest smile n his face. "I heard the music and followed it right to you!"

That's MY boy!

Not only did he bring me my phone charger, but he asked me if I was hungry or thirsty and he went and got me a Pepsi!

I think we'll keep him.

We had a conversation about the condition in which he left the house. He told me he left the garage door open. We live in a great neighborhood. But...

We also have three dogs. House dogs. Yard dogs.

This is the same boy that, in August, while I was mowing the lawn, I heard him calling me because ALL THREE dogs got out with him when he wanted to ride his bike...

"Did you close both doors?"

"No. I left them open."

Now HIS open and MY open are different in translation. My open is that there would be three dogs joining Alex and Marty in rainbow afros in Monte Carlo. Fortunately that is NOT his definition.

After explaining to him exactly WHAT my definition of OPEN means, he puffs out his chest and tells me, "I can ride back and check that, and be right ba- !" And with that he was gone on the wind.

When I grow up, I want to be just like HIM.

It's been a few years since I've seen fireworks. As cool as fireworks are, fireworks are pretty much fireworks. It's not really the fireworks, it's the whole experience. It's the spot where you're watching the fireworks. Maybe some snacks. Maybe a beverage.

The most important part is WHO you watch the fireworks with.

As I was watching the fireworks last night with my wife, number one son and my friends, I realized how different things have become since a year ago January. I spent a week getting to know my son when he and I did not speak the same language. He was quiet and shy then. THEN.

Last night, he was a little firecracker himself. Bouncing and flipping around. Cathy - or as I like to call her "good cop" - got him some glow discs. Y'know those glow things that make hoops, whatever they're called. We played ring toss with those suckers until the fireworks started. Once the fireworks started it was "Whoa!" every other word. Every other word was "Cool!"

There is no better sound than Justin and Cathy talking. I have absolutely no idea what they were talking about. It doesn't matter. Just hearing the sound of their voices is pretty awesome.

I don't deserve the life I have been given. I haven't earned it. That's what makes every moment - every FIRST - so memorable and valuable. We're winding down our firsts with Justin; but, pretty soon we'll have them all over again with Shani. That'll probably be my THIRD childhood...