So, Cathy and I had been talking about, What next?
Once Bella was home, what next?
We'd spent the last few years making an almost annual journey to Novisilky, and Kiev, Ukraine. What next?
Here's what I told her: The journey doesn't just end when all of our children are home. There's a bend in the road.
The first bend came while Bella and I were still in the Kiev. We spent the month of May staying very close to the apartment because of what was going on there in the city. We got updates from the embassy to be very cautious going out in public and being anywhere near large crowds.
I got an urgent message from my sister about my mom. It was right after Mom's birthday. She and a girlfriend had gone out to dinner for their May birthdays. Mom doesn't drive anymore and her girlfriend picked her up, they went out to dinner. They were going to do some shopping, but first, Mom stopped back by her apartment. She sat down in her apartment and couldn't get back up again. One ambulance ride to the ER later and we found out she had a blood clot in her leg and fluid around her heart. The doctors were working hard to save both her life and her leg. Mom spent a few weeks in the hospital and then in assisted living.
The folks taking care of her suggested permanent assisted living. Cathy and I talked about it. She had a better idea.
We would "adopt" my Mom.
When Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer, Cathy and I talked and she agreed with me it would be a good idea if they lived with us. They lived with us a few years before Dad passed away. Mom lived with us off and on and nearby off and on. I promised Dad that we would keep an eye on each other and that we would try to be alright. If he was tired and wanted to rest, that was okay.
We moved Mom in with us. It was another adjustment period. Each one of the kids is still adjusting. Justin is still adjusting to Cathy and I. We're adjusting to him. He's adjusting to Ethan, who's still adjusting to Cathy and I. Both Justin and Ethan are adjusting to having a sister. Each one of the kids is adjusting to each other and adjusting to having parents, rules and authority. Add to the adjustment a grandmother. Someone who gives love, hugs and candy freely, unconditionally, without strings.
There's been a bend in the road for Bella. She's transitioning from the Newcomers program to regular classes. In case you're not familiar with what a Newcomers program is; our three kids have been going across town to where the Newcomers program is. Each school has different grades for newcomers. Justin and Ethan started out at Riverside Elementary, on the other side of town. Riverside has Kindergarten through Fifth Grade Newcomers.
Justin has gone a little bit farther. He spent a year and summer school over at Willow Creek Middle School. He was there for Sixth Grade Newcomers. He's at his normal school now, in regular, mainstream classes with an ESL class. To give you an idea of the kind of bend in the road Bells is adjusting to; all three kids have been in an ESL Newcomers program. It's usually a single classroom with a teaching staff. The teachers work with the kids in the classroom. I don't mean this in a negative or a derogatory way, but it's almost a cocoon. Or a protective bubble. Which is what they need when they first come here and start school. It would be foolish to just throw them into the deep end of the pool, so to speak, with mainstream classes. The adjustment for Justin going from a single classroom, where he was with his classmates and his teacher; was, to go from that, to hoofing it around school from classroom to classroom. He had tardies, he was stressed, he got behind in his homework. He got behind, because he was working off a bad habit of doing his homework in the classroom, while the teacher was teaching another subject. The good news for Justin is that we hunkered down and got him back on track, while we were bringing Ethan home and we were all adjusting to one another.
It is great to hear that Bella is slowly transitioning to regular classes. The scary news for me is that next year, she will be joining Justin as a Freshman in high school.
A bend in the road.
Ethan is still a work in progress. He's what I would call a slow cooker. He simmers...or marinates. He's very much like me, so he may just be a late bloomer. What he needs is a Mom and Dad with a deep and unending supply of patience. Fortunately, Cathy and I have had some experience in the patience department. She and I are both very impatient people, so we know how to handle Ethan. (ba-dum-bump! Thank you ladies and germs, I'll be here all week! And don't forget to tip your waitress, she's been good to you!)
Now, I've just recently had another bend in the road. One that's given me time to work with Cathy on collecting all of the blogs we've written while we were bringing Justin home in 2011. I wanted to put some things into perspective, since Justin and my mom have never read any of the blogs. I wanted to make it a keepsake for them and share the hope, inspiration and growth that Cathy and I went through.
I took a class last October, taught by my friend, The Med City Movie Guy, Chris Miksanek. The class was all about De-Mystifying Print On Demand. It's a fantastic class, and I highly recommend it. If you have the desire to write, whether it's a zombie apocalypse novel, a travelogue, a family history or even a cookbook, Print On Demand is the simplest, easiest way to go. Since October, Cathy and I have been collecting the blogs into Word and adding pictures. Then we started editing and proof-reading. We asked some very good friends to help us with editing and proof-reading. We took our manuscript online for a print on demand book and edited it more to a final print version.
What we want to do is a book for each one of our kids that we can also share with anyone that wants to read all of the blogs in one sitting, or, like Justin and Mom, have not read them before.
Here's what the cover looks like
This is available on Amazon and for Kindle. We're listed on GoodReads as #1117 from the Minnesota Alliance for Orphans.
Even though all of our kids are home now, every day brings a new adventure. Something different. One of the many things I have learned on this journey, is, that there is always some new and different around the corner. Like Grandma's story in the movie Parenthood.
"You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."
One of the things I want to pass on to my kids is the same thing my dad always told me, when you come to a fork in the road, pick it up!
C'mon, who leaves a fork in the road!
