"...There Are Angels Among Us..."

Dave sez,

Hi! We're Cathy and Dave! Thanks for taking the time to get to know us, and letting us share our story with you!

This coming Sunday, May 6th is our 22nd anniversary. That's "Purple Heart", isn't it? Twenty-two years of Cathy putting up with me! She's an amazing woman isn't she? Because what most people don't realize is that on top of being a GEEK, I'm kind of a JERK. Shocking, yes, I know, but we're not all perfect. What she saw was a lump of clay that she could mold and shape into a fine work of art. Little did she realize that I was a LIFE-LONG project. She's going to improve on me - even if it kills ME! We're hoping it doesn't come to that.

Twenty-two years.

A lot of those years are made up of trying to start a family, have children and live happily ever after.

We were married fourteen years when we saw a fertility specialist. Most of the time leading up to that point was spent getting our careers going. And when I say "OUR", I mean "MINE".

The fertility specialist diagnosed Cathy with cancer, and she went in immediately for surgery. The cancer she had was life-threatening. It also changed our option to adoption.

The next seven years we spent on one waiting list or another trying to adopt.

Just when we were about to give up hope, God answered our prayers and every prayer on our behalf, and Justin came into our lives.

Last Monday, April 23rd marked six months that he's been home for good.

I am always reminded of how thankful and grateful Cathy and I are for every prayer, every word of encouragement, every gesture of kindness and generosity from people that have been touched by Justin's story. There ARE angels among us.

My cell phone ran at bedtime the other night. I listened to the message the next morning and called the woman who left the message back. Her brother had passed away and she was going through his papers and found my business card. She wanted to talk to me about him. She wanted me to talk to her about him. I'm sad that I didn't recognize his name when she first mentioned it. But then she said I'd written on the back of the card, "Cathy And Dave's Adoption Journey on Facebook" on the back.

Then it all clicked.

Her brother had invited us to breakfast one morning because he had heard about us and wanted to hear more. We met at Old Country Buffet. He brought more than a half dozen photo albums, full of pictures he had taken on trips to Russia. Where he visited orphanages. Offering his time. Humanitarian aid. Here in the states, he had organized a system of shipping care packages with clothes...shoes for the children in the orphanages. It was something on the scale of what high school students do for our service men and women stationed overseas defending our freedom on foreign soil.

Little did we realize when we had breakfast with him that he was being treated for lymphoma.

He passed away, just a few weeks ago, at the end of March.

There have been moments over the last seven years when I couldn't see the forest for the trees, as my dad always said. I've thought that our adoption journey was all about ME. The one that WASN'T diagnosed with cancer. Our story has NEVER been about me. It's been about Cathy. It's been about Justin. It's also about his cousin, who will soon be his brother, Ethan (Shani) It's about every person, like you, that has been touched by Justin's journey to us, too.

Thank you for joining us on our journey. Our adventure in parenthood.Thank you for letting us share our story with you. Our ups and downs, our successes and misteaks - yes, that WAS intentional.

My good friend, Craig, who runs Book Review here in town is one of the many people touched by our story. The day before our 22nd anniversary, is the annual Free Comic Book Day. He is donating what he makes on Saturday at his store, Book Review, in the Hillcrest Shopping Center off the 19th Street exit of highway 52, to help us bring Shani home. I've been looking through some of the stuff I've been hoarding to see what I can part with on Saturday to add to that.

If you can make it, great. If you can't, we hope that you will still join us as we share our adventures with our boys.

Thanks for letting us share our story with you.

Mission: Impossible

Dave sez,

I realize that I have NO problems whatsoever watching cartoons with my son. But every now and again, I do get a hankerin' to watch a movie. Not so much a smarmy, sappy rom-com. But something that features 1) a good, decent car chase, B) something being blown up, and, D) Simon Pegg. There is all that, and so much more in the latest Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol. If you haven't seen it, it is one of the best M:I movies. Even if you are NOT a Tom Cruise fan. J. J. Abrams, from Lost and 2009's Star Trek reboot is involved. Brad Bird, from Disney's The Incredibles directed it. The brilliant Simon Pegg, Scotty from 2009's Star Trek and previous M:I films is in it along with Jeremy Renner from Ben Affleck's The Town. He had a cameo in Thor and will be in The Avengers opening May 4th. He plays Hawkeye, the archer. Think Marvel's version of Green Arrow.

This isn't so much a movie review, though.

After dinner, Cathy made a special breaded chicken - which I thought was AWESOME, and Justin thought was just okay (he did not finish his dinner. He said he was not very hungry, that his stomach was bothering him, which I take as code for: I'm not into this real food, I'll wait for snack time for junk food. He didn't finish dinner, so he did not get ANY snacks last night.)...

Okay, right, where was I?

...Justin gets on the computer to play video games.

Cathy had gotten Ghost Protocol from Red Box, so we sat down to watch it. Now, I'm no rocket scientist or brain surgeon, but I do know if you sit down to watch a movie at eight o'clock, NOBODY's goin' to bed at nine. I was hoping to see how far along we could get in the movie before bedtime.

Justin asked to do his homework in the morning because he has a test today. At around 9:30 we noticed we were all still up watching the movie and playing video games. So, I paused the movie and explained to Justin that A) he needed to do his homework, 2) he could sleep in a little in the morning - but not much - and D) this was a ONE-TIME, special occasion - so consider yourself very lucky, young man, and do not abuse it!

We ran through his homework - because his English is getting SO much better, and he finished the movie with us.

It was worth it to see his smiling face as we had our fifteen minute appointment pillow fight. He grumbled a little about it ending, but he settled down and as soon as his head hit the pillow I heard the start of his chainsaw for sawing logs.

Will we remember the nights we went to bed on time? No, I don't think so. I'm one of those people that believes that life HAPPENS AFTER you make your plans. I listen to the radio - not so much for the music, but for what happens in between the songs and before the commercials. He'll probably be tired and cranky, he may have some challenges in class and at Karate tonight. But, when I look back at the special moments with my son, last night will be one of the memories that comes to mind.

Just like our last night in the apartment in Kiev before the flight home. I wanted to get a good night's sleep, Justin wanted to stay up all night long. I said okay, go ahead, I'm taking a little nap. I wake up at two in the morning with the television broadcasting static, and Justin out like a light.

"Hey, remember that one time we stayed up a little late, had a pillow fight and then went to sleep? Remember how much FUN we had together?"

Yeah, I want Justin to be responsible. But these early days of bonding HAVE to be about building our relationship. I want him to think his Mom and Dad are FUN. Just like LOVE, FUN lasts FOREVER.

Message In A Bottle

Dear Dad,

So, how's the weather there? Probably better than what we have here, I 'spect. I told you about the mild winter we had here. Spring came early this year, went away, came back. We're waiting for it to make up it's mind and decide whether or not to stay awhile. One day, it's sunny and warm; the next cold, cloudy and windy! Near forty mile an hour winds - can you believe it?

Anyway, yesterday was my FIRST All-Pro Dads Day at Justin's school. The school has them once a month, but this was the first one that I was able to make. You should have seen his face, Dad, when he brought home the blue invitation slip. He was so excited, I thought he was going to burst. His eyes were as big as saucers and he was talking a mile a minute. he kept asking me over and over if we could go. I'd been wondering when the next one was coming up, because I missed the last couple of them, and I really wanted to go with Justin. If he was about to explode at the idea of going, he nearly melted down from excitement when I told him I'd have to take him to school early and he wouldn't be able to ride the bus. He likes the bus, but he likes me and Mommy driving him or picking him up BETTER.

Today, we caught a break. I got a chance to cut the grass and Cathy worked on her flower bed. After I finished, I helped Cathy. Justin helped to around his busy Avatar marathon schedule...

We turned mulching into a game and he had fun helping us spread it around the flowers.

I can't wait to bring Shani home, so he can be part of all this too. I know Justin can use the company and someone around his size and age to play with.

You know...I always thought this journey was about ME.

Forgetting that it was about Cathy and what she was going through...

It wasn't until I met Justin that I realized just what our adoption journey was about.

It's not about me. It's a little bit about Cathy. It's a lot about Justin. And his brother.

It's about family.

I wish I could tell you this in person. I wish you could be here for Justin's FIRST Cathy's birthday. Mom's birthday is in May. Mother's day will mark twelve years that you've been gone. October would be your 82nd birthday. I'm not sure what's worse, Dad. Missing you, or not being able to tell you how much I've missed you.

Things are good, Dad. I just wish you could be here to see the dad Justin sees.

Love always,

Dave

P.S. ~ Father, I am so grateful to you for answering our prayers. This gift you've given us is truly AWESOME!
There is just one thing more I want.

I don't want to be a memory trapped in a picture frame, or a story Justin and Shani tell their children. I may not have been blessed to see my two boys born; but I want to hold their children in my arms. I want to be able to give both my boys a night together with their wives that isn't an anniversary or a birthday. Just cause.

You say that you hear what we ask in Your Son's name, so I come and ask in Jesus name.

Amen.

Eric Louis

Life Is Good -OR- Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me?

Dave sez,

"A journey of a THOUSAND miles begins with a SINGLE step." ~ Lao-tzu

Hi there! We're Cathy and Dave. Thanks for letting us SHARE our journey TO and WITH Justin with you!

I am so amazed at how FAR we have come so QUICKLY and EASILY. Through tears and frustration we have reached joy. Over the last few weeks we have seen our boy more content than ever! I can understand when he's been angry. I had the same anger and frustration over the years of our journey to him. But, I keep reminding him of what I told him every day while we were bringing him home last fall: "Never gonna let you go. Never gonna let you go."

It's starting to click that this IS his home. I'm his dad - or, Popi. Cathy is his Mommy. We're are a family.

He has his GOOD days, and he has some BAD days. But, when we stop and talk about his day, we find that his bad days aren't so bad after all, he's just magnifying one "unforgiving minute", and making a mountain out of a mole hill, as my dad always said.

He didn't want to be part of the reading group one day at school because the teacher that was part of the group was going to be going away, and he was really bummed. Mama explained that this is normal. That in school he is going to have a LOT of teachers. Not that he SHOULDN'T be sad. But he DOES need to show his teachers respect - like he does us - and follow instructions in school - like he does at home.

He's had his moments where he's been so angry and frustrated that he's ended up having to stand in the corner. Maybe two or three times. We've all come to tears over it. But, we've all been better for it.
After church this morning, we were having lunch and out of the blue he asked us if we would ever be so angry with him that we would send him away. Mama told him no. We came home. We fed the dogs. We went over to the soccer field to play "goalie". When we were done, I told him that there was nothing he could ever do that would make me want him to go away. I told him that one day will come when he will want to go to college, or he will find someone as special as when I found Mama, and he will want to go and be on his own. He will always be my son. I will always be his Popi. When we got home we went downstairs and played Avatar: The Last Airbender  - The Burning Earth on Wii. He's been trying to get past The Governor level since he got the game for Christmas. Today, I discovered a walk through on YouTube; and along with a little persistence and patience he made it past the fire lord governor and then farther along two or three more levels. He got stopped at the tree monster level. He was thankful to Mommy for the game and thankful to both God and me for the help through it.

We're taking the time to celebrate and remember the good times, and see that there are MORE GOOD times than there are BAD times.