Hi! We are Cathy and Dave. We've been on an amazing journey to become parents. It took us nearly seven years; but we brought our first son, Justin, home in October of 2011. Last December, we brought Ethan home as Justin's brother. Our goal is to go back one final time, to bring home our daughter, Masha.
Dave sez, I hadn't really planned to take time away from keeping up and updating our 'blog. It's been kind of an unplanned hiatus. If you're a parent, maybe you can easily understand what it's like. The passed seven months, with both boys, have been busy. Our journey shifted from the "wanting" to the "having". Cathy and I had spent so much time together, just the two of us, that once Ethan came home, I felt that, having the two boys meant spending my time with them. Doing things with them. Making memories with them. I looked back on when I was growing up: my own Dad and Mom worked long hours. They worked, then came home and did things around the house. We didn't spend a whole lot of social, family time together. So, when I got to be a teenager, and I had friends, I spent time with my friends doing fun things. When I thought of spending time with my parents, the word "fun" never came to mind. In a lot of ways, Justin and Ethan are very different from me; but, when we spend time together, I want them to look back and remember it as being fun. Fun. Enjoyable.
So, I haven't had a whole lot of personal free time away from the boys. Justin's schedule for school was pretty early. He had to get up early to catch a 6:35 bus to school. Ethan had Justin's old bus routine, where he caught an 8:10 bus. After putting him on the bus, I dropped Cathy of, and then headed in to work. There's not a whole lot to do outside in the winter. Maybe sledding and tubing. Every day, the boys would ask if they could play basketball; or ride Justin's bike; or play soccer; or go on the trampoline. When Justin first came home, we enjoyed a really mild winter. It was cold, but we didn't get very much snow until March; winter's last gasp. Justin probably figured it would be the same again this past winter. Funny, not so much. There wasn't a whole lot of time spent outside. Beyond shoveling, Ethan got bored with sledding and came back inside to play video games.
We're all glad that the seasons have finally changed so that the boys can go play basketball, ride bikes, go on the trampoline.
But, I'm starting to feel like a drained battery. I'm feeling more and more the need to plug-in to recharge.
Cathy and I have gone from staring at each other, to running to karate three nights a week and family movie time. Bedtimes that start at nine at night and drag on for a half an hour. Basketball, baseball, football and trampoline. going out into the back field, or down the street, for soccer. Ethan wears out quickly, runs out of steam, gets bored and wants to go back inside to watch a movie or play video games. Justin just goes like he is a solar battery. The three of us have to find a common ground so that Ethan gets enough activity; and, there is some way to reign in Justin's dynamo spirit.
There are moments when I envy Cathy, that she can opt out. But this is what I wanted.
Let me be honest. It was a huge change for me to make the commitment to being a dad. Cathy scared me when we first got married, because she wanted to have my children. She was excited about it. I was barely mature enough to be responsible for myself. I was glad that she was adult. She could be responsible enough for both of us. So, I put off having kids by telling her that once we had kids we would being doing things for them, and not the things we wanted to do. The plans that we made, the trips that we took would be for our kids, not the trips we wanted to take for ourselves. Yes, I was very selfish. But I figured if we did the things we wanted to do, then I would be ready to do things with my kids. Funny thing is, we didn't make any grand plans for ourselves. The best plans Cathy and I have ever made included a chance meeting with Aang and Spongebob and Patrick at Nickelodeon Universe. The coolest thing in the world is seeing the expression on Justin's and Ethan's faces at how excited I was to have my picture taken with these characters that they like.
They wanted to go on the log flume ride. So, Cathy and I told them we would meet them at the exit. Well, it turns out they couldn't ride without an adult. so they came back out the entrance to the ride and started looking for us. We were not too far away, waiting for them at the exit. In the crowd, Justin had to look for us. I imagine it was the same thing he did in Kiev, in Independence Square. There's all these people going back and forth to work.There's the McDonald's, and all the street vendors and kiosks. It's crowded and disorienting. That's the square. There's a busy two-level shopping mall right underneath the square. Outside the upper level of the shopping mall is the subway. There's shops and vendors there as well. The escalator ride down to the train platform is two minutes long. When you are always looking up at the world, it can be a very big and frightening place. When they finally found us at the ride exit, Justin hugged Cathy tight. I saw tears at the corner of his eye. Cathy told me her shoulder was drenched after he hugged her. This was near the end of a day where we were all tired and irritable and cranky with one another.
He told his mother that he wasn't ready to say goodbye to us yet.
October 23rd marks our second anniversary with Justin coming home for good. December 7th marks Ethan's first anniversary.
They are exhausting, high-maintenance boys.
And they're all ours.
