The Challenges That We Face

Dave sez,

Hi! We're Cathy and Dave. We'd been trying to adopt for a very long time. We didn't think we would every have children, until a miracle happened and we were blessed with our son, Justin. He introduced us to our newest addition, Ethan. Justin used to go by the name Georgiy. Ethan used to be known as Shani. When we went to Ukraine to bring Justin home, he introduced us to Ethan as, "This is Shani! My brother!" When we went to bring Ethan home, he introduced us to the girl that will be coming home as our daughter. He said, "Masha. Sister?" For a couple that had nearly given up hope that we would ever have ONE child, we are excited to face the idea that we will be having THREE!

It is amazing to consider God's secret wisdom in the miracle he worked in front of our eyes.

Cathy and I have spent the last few weeks since we came home trying to get over a cold and a long lingering cough. We've been blessed that over the last year, Justin has rarely been sick. He and Ethan are pretty sturdy. they bounce back pretty quickly. Ethan was sick a couple of weeks ago, but managed to rally and bounce back. We took him for his first Chuck E. Cheese! He is right now where Justin was when he first came home. But we've noticed the boys are different as far as maturity. Ethan is not as mature or as developed as his brother. Ethan seems almost infantile. Every thing he does is at an extreme. He's loud; overly enthusiastic, and amazingly enough, nearly everything goes in his mouth. We're pretty sure it's a security thing, that he sucks his thumb at night when he sleeps. He'll sit with his fingers in his mouth. He's a bottomless pit: he is always hungry.

We have three dogs; two bassets, Max and Maize, and a Jack Russell terrier, Peanut. They are adjusting, just like we are. He is so excited and enthusiastic that his affection for them is overwhelming. We've been trying to get him to keep from burying his face in their fur. he comes away from them just covered in fur. he usually does this kind of thing before he has to go any where, like school or church or out. we've had to make him change clothes.

We're trying to get him to "turn down the volume" a little bit, because right now he's dialed to eleven. On top of his enthusiasm, he's always asking questions. Obvious questions. Obvious to us; but, considering that he has only been with us and home a short while, every question has to be respected and answered.

We're trying to help him develop better habits, be thoughtful of others and less selfish, and show initiative.

First Chuck E. Cheese was an experience. Justin is used to getting a handful of tokens an playing the games. We handed Ethan his tokens and told him to go play while I wait for our food and Cathy hits the salad bar. Justin came back with a fistful of tickets, got more tokens and was off again. Ethan came back a few minutes later empty handed for more tokens. I told Cathy I didn't think he knew about the tickets. Justin came back with more tickets and got another handful of tokens. I found Ethan wandering around, watching other kids play games. He did play one game, and walked away when he was done completely ignoring the tickets coming out of the machine. We headed back for more tokens and met Justin at the table. I told him and Cathy what was happening and Justin said, Let me show him what to do. Come on, Ethan, let's go! And they were off.

We had gotten enough tokens that I took ten of Ethan's and headed over to one of the games that is all about tickets. It's that big wheel with the lever. Pull down the lever and you get tickets. It took all ten tokens, but I got him 150 tickets. He was excited, but not nearly as impressed as I thought Cathy and I thought he would be.

We struggle with getting him to listen the first time. It usually takes repeating instructions a half a dozen times before it sinks in. That's pretty true of any kid, even Justin. What we know, is that Justin's tenure has built experience. Ethan is still struggling through initiation and orientation period. His training wheels are pretty much still on.

Last weekend, over the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, we had a sleepover with the Justin's best friend, Alex. It was a weekend filled with sledding, Nerf wars and playoff games. It was great to spend time with Alex's parents, Mike and Andrea. They've been a part of our journey, since introducing us to Justin. we also got a chance to see Annie and Tom and their kids again. When Cathy and I think of the miracle of Justin finding us, we can't help but think of how awesome a gift we've been given. If Justin hadn't come into our lives, we wouldn't have been introduced to Ethan or Masha. We wouldn't have met other parents like us. We would have kept on thinking that we were alone and unique in the situation we were and are in. Annie and Tom blessed us with Justin, who led us to Ethan and Masha.

Watching Ethan with the other boys, he seemed a lot like the "odd man out". It wasn't so much a language barrier, Ethan is just challenged at fitting in. I can identify with that.

This passed weekend our plans changed a little, so we took the boys to Nickelodeon Universe. We'd taken the boys there when we first came home in December, but it was only for a few hours, and Cathy and I spent the time sitting and talking. This was the first trip there as a family where we all got to enjoy the rides. You can see from just a couple of the pictures how much fun we had. There was a little drama and pouting, but fortunately it didn't last long.

One of the great tips that we've learned from other parents like us, is introducing the boys to the concept of "family". When they balk at anything, we now tell them that this is what having parents is like. We are the parents, they are the child. They don't set bedtime or The Rules - we do. Mama and Popi will be respected; and listened to. Trust is going to be a long time in building, but respect has to start here at the beginning. We're still working on respect with Justin, and working on his example to set a good one for Ethan.

All in all, though, the good times far outweigh the bad times. It's great that we can all bounce back from the rough patches that we have.

It's great that every day we can enjoy our "Happily Ever After".

The Odd Couple

Dave sez,

I'm not sure which stand-up comedian said that kids are like the worst roommate you've ever had - but I believe it! As a newbie dad of two - TWO! - boys, now, I am learning that Justin and Ethan are like the worst drunk roommates - everz!

Justin is the angry drunk. The ten-feet tall and bullet proof drunk. Looking over pictures of him, and seeing him with the other boys his age from the Cradle of Children's' Hope Orphanage, he's small for his age. He might never reach the same height as Ethan or the other boys. I'm sure there are a lot of things that he is sensitive and defensive about, and his height is probably one of them. From the way he and I rough-house, I'm sure he has had to defend a spot with the other boys. His way of saying "Hi. How are you? How was your day?", is more, "You wanna fight? You wanna piece of me?" And then it is on! The fists are flying, there's usually some crying involved, but a hug from Mom and I'm fine afterward! I don't think Justin is unique in having self-esteem issues. he tends to over-compensate by telling himself and us just how good and wonderful he is. I've been warning him for the last year about saying things like, "I'm better than you!" I've been telling him that there may be some things he is good at and better at. But there will always be someone better. The angry drunk doesn't hear that, it goes right over his head. "I'm BETTER than you!" We've had our moments where he's really been angry. It's not really anger, it's fear. This little firecracker will stand in front of me and scream at me, "I'm not afraid of you! You don't scare me!" I get down on my knees so that he and I can look eye to eye, and I tell him that I don't want to ever scare him. I don't ever want him to be afraid of me. He's an awesome kid. He makes mistakes, we all do. I make mistakes as his dad. But I love him no matter what. We can fix mistakes. A little duct tape and WD-40 and we're good as new.

And it's moments like that when I miss my dad. I wish I could tell my dad what an incredible, awesome grandson he has. I do the next best thing. I tell my sister and brother what a cool nephew they have. I tell Justin what a cool aunt and uncle he has. And then he "drunk" Skypes them when no one is around and asks them why they don't have a camera on their computer so he can see them when he Skypes.

The best part about coming home from Kiev, wasn't just seeing Cathy and Justin; it was Cathy telling me that my son had called my cell phone to hear my voice on the outgoing message on my voice mail. I asked if he missed me and he smiled and said no...then, with a nonchalant shrug,  "a little bit."

My new son, Ethan, is the happy drunk. He's all, "Let's get this party started!" Every little thing makes him giddy and giggle. He cheers at the good parts of every movie, when the hero is winning and the bad guy is losing, or when one thing stops happening and another thing starts happening. He is exuberant. He is ebullient. He's the "Hold my beer for me", and, "Watch this!" He was so ready to leave the orphanage, because he was excited for the next thing. He had to have the television on and play video games at the same time. He ran around the room, looking at every thing and touching every thing. There was a piano in the room and he banged on the keys until he got bored and moved on to something else. I learned to say "Nyet!", because he touches EVERY key on a computer keyboard. When he comes into the room, he hugs all three dogs, kisses them and rubs his face in their fur. With a laugh. He rolls around on the floor with them. Now, the adult in me sees that he turns into Pigpen: a ball of dog hair. But slowly, I am learning to take a breath and count to ten and just let him get that out of his system. There is a point where his excitement and enthusiasm goes a little too far.He gets so excited that the connection between his brain and his hearing unplugs and he becomes a wild, happy drunk. We're all trying to adjust to his pure, uncut J-O-Y. There is a wonder in his eyes at every thing he sees and experiences.

What the world needs more of is to be able to break out into spontaneous song. Ethan will be doing something; and then, he'll just start singing. Loudly. At. The. Top. Of. His. Voice. Breaking the peace and tranquility of me sitting under a tree by a stream in my imagination. And then, I'm all, "Hulk, SMASH!"

Angry drunk and happy drunk tend to clash like The Odd Couple. We haven't had linguini on the walls yet, but there's been a lot of finger pointing. "Justin EVERY thing, and me NOTHING! Justin YEAH, and me NO!", then, "He's in my stuff! He doesn't ASK! He's all the time asking dumb questions! Questions, questions, questions!"

At one point, between Christmas and New Year's, Justin said to me, "Things were better here before he came here!" Yeah, because angry drunk was a solo act, and now he has to share the stage and the spotlight with happy drunk.

I was the youngest in my family. I could tell that my two older brothers didn't ALWAYS appreciate having me around ALL THE TIME. They had their own friends, their own crowd; and having a baby brother around wasn't ALWAYS cool. I'm a pretty sweet and wonderful person, but I do tend to get annoying after a while. But like any mold or fungus, I tend to grow on people and choke the will out of them so they can't run away.

I'm just waiting for a more peaceful solution than that between Felix and Oscar. They do have a lot of fun together...when they are wrestling and trying to choke the life out of each other.

I say, no broken bones and no spilled blood and every body goes to bed happy!  

The Firsts So Far...

Dave sez,

"...And the Lord said, Who, then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give him his portion of food in due season?

"...For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required; and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more."

~ Luke 12: 42, 48b

"With great power comes great responsibility." ~ Uncle Ben Parker, The Amazing Spider-Man by Lee and Ditko

Hi! We are Cathy and Dave. This is our adoption journey. After nearly seven years of trying to start a family, it's been two years since we were first introduced to our son, Justin, who in turn introduced us to our son Ethan. A big part of our journey has been the miles and miles across nearly seven years waiting for our boys to find us. A smaller part of our story is how it all began.

Today marks the one hundred first anniversary of the birth of Danny Thomas. Wikipedia, and Mr. Thomas' autobiography say that as a young starving entertainer with children, Danny Thomas made a promise: that when he was blessed to find work, he would repay that gift to Saint Jude, the patron saint of lost causes. When he passed away in 1991, he passed the baton of promoting Country Cares for St. Jude Kids to Randy Owen from the group Alabama. The success rate in finding a cure for childhood cancer is remarkable.

Cathy went a number of years with undiagnosed cancer. It was discovered when we started a fertility program to have children. We were both shocked. She was given the diagnosis on a Wednesday and in surgery to remove the cancer a couple days later on Friday. I am blessed that I didn't lose her. I understand what people go through fighting cancer. I understand how terrible it is to face losing a child to cancer.

I don't believe in coincidences. I think things happen for a reason. I believe that the larger, greater journey that we are on gives us an opportunity to grow and learn and become something more than where we start.

Before Justin found Cathy and me, I was a jerk. My boys are helping me grow and they both are teaching me a lot. The best part is that it's a fun experience.

Cathy and I have had such an incredible opportunity to be introduced to wonderful people that have been touched by adoption. It is so great to hear people tell us how grateful they are for adoptive parents. It is so incredibly touching and moving to hear that being a dad and a mom makes a difference. That Cathy's and my hard work, sweat and tears have a super power to them.

We were bowling last Sunday with the families from the orphanage where Justin, Ethan, Cathy and I made so many friends; and what we heard was how much Justin has developed in the last year or more. We had heard that he was a handful. High maintenance. We've seen some of that. We've had a few hard times with him. But, I am convinced that he is awesome. I may be a little biased in my opinion...

Ethan could not be more different from Justin. I love both my boys. Ethan gives me pause. He has an energy and exuberance so much like Justin. He is loud and boisterous. He laughs loud, he sings loud, he eats loud. At times, it's like he's stepped out of a musical, he breaks into spontaneous song. Like Justin. There is not enough of that going on today, really.

But what separates the two boys is that whatever experiences they have gone through, Justin built up a tough outer shell. He's aggressive and defensive and protective. Getting him to trust has been our biggest challenge since he's been home. Ethan, on the other hand, wears a smile and a laugh to cover up the scared little boy he is. Where Justin has become a champion, Ethan has become a victim. Justin could go the whole day without eating and be fine and happy. Ethan can't survive a few minutes. His first question is always either When do we eat?, or When is the next meal? Next, he is always telling us that he is hungry, and letting us know what he wants to eat. In his developing English, it comes out "And me eat!" The challenge that we're facing with him is getting him to understand that over the last twelve months that Justin has been here, he has earned every one of the privileges he enjoys. Ethan looks at what Justin has and we can see where he wants a big slice of that.

Over this last week, Justin and Ethan have had their first sleep over. It started as a bowling and pizza party, with a birthday celebration thrown in, too. It escalated as Justin and one of his friends, Alex, asked if Justin and Ethan could stay over. That gave us New Year's Eve eve with a very quiet house. It's a shame that Cathy and I were still trying to shake off this crud and couldn't enjoy it more...But, after work on New Year's Eve, we drove up to spend time with the boys and our friends Mike and Andrea. Mike texted me to warn me that the boys had Nerf rifles and that I might need to pick one up to defend myself - they were plotting to ambush us as we walked in the door. A good woman is patient in the toy aisle. A great woman helps you pick stuff out. I was looking at the rifle and ammo. Cathy picked out guns to surprise the boys when we got back home. We had a blast! Mike and Andrea noticed how different justin was now, and how much both boys missed us.

Ethan has had his first day back to school after the long break for Christmas and New Year's; AND, he's had his first bus ride. Both boys are riding the bus to school now. Wednesday, when I took Ethan to school, he got in the car and complained that it was cold. He wanted me to wave the wand that picked me at Olivanders or use my Sonic Screwdriver on the heater to make the car instantly warm. I looked at him in the back seat and noticed he didn't have his gloves and hat on. I asked him where they were. "And me no," he replied. We need to find your hat and gloves, Bud, I told him. He giggled at me. I found his hat and gloves after dropping him off at school and set them out for him for Thursday. Friday morning, when I asked where his hat was, he said he left it on the bus. Here is where I knew I had become both MY dad and mom. "Well," I said, "What good is your hat doing you on the bus?" He smiled at me...like an infant with gas.

Friday, I had to pick him up halfway through the day for his first doctor's visit and first round of immunizations for school. He had three shots. He was a trouper, but Cathy had a challenge getting him to look at her and not at his arm when the needle went in. He didn't complain much at all. We weren't sure if he would be able to head back to school for the rest of the day, and we were kicking around the idea of letting him take it easy at home. Unfortunately, we didn't use the cones of silence in front of him. He perked up at the idea of having the rest of the day off. When things didn't turn out that way, it seemed that the vaccinations kicked in hard and he was severely bedraggled. I walked him back to his class as they were all going to the language lab, and I got to see him walk with another boy, his hand a "brain sucker" on the other boys head. I left him with the parting words he always uses with me, "No touchin' me!" He uses that when he wants Cathy and me to stop tickling him. He'll laugh and giggle, screaming "No touchin' me! No touchin' me! No touchin' me-ee-ee-ee-ee!"

We spend a lot of time refereeing between the two boys. Justin complains that he's too loud. He's eating too loud! He's talking while I am playing games! He's all the time asking questions! Make him stop! The hardest thing Justin has said was that things were so much better before Ethan came home. Ethan looks at Justin as more privileged and favored. So, pretty much what we're hearing is, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!" from both boys.

As Lloyd Bridges said in Airplane, "I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing airplane glue!" I don't really sniff airplane glue...But, I do grit my teeth and tell myself that I am so happy to have what I have always wanted. And I laugh, because Mom always wished that each one of her children would be blessed with kids like them.

I wouldn't trade either one of them for anything.

The New Normal

Dave sez,

Stop me if you've heard this one: y'know why there are so many songs about UN-requited love? Because, when you DO find that connection, there are better things to do than write a song about it! Am I right? Am I right? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Say no more, say no more.

Ethan and I came home, and Cathy and I have spent the last few weeks sick. The OTHER souvenir we brought back from our trip. :)

On top of being sick, and trying to navigate our way through the holiday season, we've all been adjusting to our "new normal": having not ONE, but TWO high energy boys.

Justin is pretty intense. He's serious, except when he's not and he's playing or teasing. Over the last year, we've had our good times and bad as the three of us have adjusted to one another.

Now, Ethan is here. Cathy, Justin and I are adjusting to his quirks and eccentricities. I may have mentioned this before, but on the flight home, he spent the trip from Frankfurt back asking if we were in America. I could tell he was excited, anxious and enthusiastic. But it was pretty much EIGHT HOURS of "Are we there yet?" We were crossing over London. America? No, Ethan, not yet. Canada; America? No, Ethan, not yet. Detroit; America? No, Ethan, not yet. We were standing in the security line to get to our gate at O'Hare in Chicago and he asked where Mom and Justin were. I told him we had one more flight to get home to them. I was telling him this in English, even though he speaks and understands Russian/Ukrainian. I was slightly confused by the perplexed look he gave me and my explanation. ;)

Since he's been home, he really only has a few questions. When do we eat? Is it burgers or soup? and Tomorrow school? He's come home pretty much like Justin did, with only the clothes on his back. Justin has pretty much earned a lot of cool stuff. What we're hearing a LOT of is, is Justin saying, "He's taking my stuff without asking!"

We're learning what sibling rivalry is all about. They haven't painted a white line down the middle of their room. Yet.

We got the boys a table top Foosball table. What we've seen is an extreme level of competition. The boys NEED to win an equal number of games. The three of us tend to become VERY excited when we score a goal. Pointing and cheering and chanting, "In your face!" I've been letting the excitement of the game get the better of me. Which is probably why Cathy WON'T play with us. The boys are worse. There's the standard post-game wrestling match to determine who the REAL winner and loser is.

There's a lot of wrestling going on! I can't wait for Ethan to join Justin in Karate and for both boys to start wrestling in school to burn off some of that pent up energy.

...As a junk food junky myself, I am learning a very important lesson from Ethan about eating healthy foods. If Justin has been watching both Cathy and me over the last year and following the example we set, now we have FOUR sets of eyes watching us closely.

It will be good to see Ethan develop as he learns English, but I think we may be at a point where we all take up Russian through Rosetta Stone...

We've had our ups and downs since we've come home as we adjust to one another.

One of the scariest downs we've seen this past week is that Ukraine's eastern neighbor, Mother Russia has started a ban on adoptions with the United States. You've probably seen the story. Here is what is at the heart of the story, according to the CNN story:

"...The move is widely seen as retaliation for a law that U.S. President Barack Obama signed on December 14. That bill, called the Magnitsky Act, imposes U.S. travel and financial restrictions on human rights abusers in Russia.

The Magnitsky Act is named for Russian lawyer Sergei Magnitsky, who uncovered the largest tax fraud in the country's history in the form of rebates claimed by government officials who stole money from the state. Magnitsky died in 2009 after a year in a Moscow detention center, apparently beaten to death.

The Russian bill's implementation nullifies a recent agreement between the United States and Russia in which the countries agreed to additional safeguards to protect children and parties involved in inter-country adoptions.

Backers of the Russian bill said American adoptive parents have been abusive, citing 19 deaths of adopted Russian children since the 1990s.

The Russian public has supported the bill, with 56% of respondents in a poll conducted by the Public Opinion Foundation (FOM) saying they backed the ban, RIA Novosti reported.

In 2010, an American woman sparked outrage after she sent her adopted son back to Russia alone on a one-way flight, saying the boy, then 7, had violent episodes that made her family fear for its safety.

Konstantin Dolgov, the Russian Foreign Ministry's special representative for human rights, said Wednesday on Twitter that Russians were "well aware of, and have pointed out more than once, the inadequate protection of adopted Russian children in the U.S." He also said the United States is one of three nations that have not signed the 1989 U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child.

According to the U.N. Children's Fund, the United States is one of two nations -- the other being Somalia -- that has not ratified the convention. But the United States has signed the convention, thereby signaling its intent to ratify.

Anthony Lake, executive director of UNICEF, touted the importance of "inter-country adoption."
See the full story here, http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/28/world/europe/russia-us-adoptions/index.html

Cathy and I hope that this sentiment doesn't spread to Ukraine, where the boys are from. Our hearts ache for families that are caught in the middle of this tragic development. We've been in a number of different adoption programs, we've even faced the possibility of Ukraine stopping international adoption. I can only imagine how hard it is to develop a bond with a little boy or girl and then have that taken away.

I'm taking every opportunity to tell my boys how much I love them and hug them close and tight. I am so grateful to God that he has blessed me with them.

This week marks two years since Justin found us. Life has never been the same since.

2013 is going to be AWESOME!!!

Happy New Year!

The One About The Embassy And The Journey Home...

Dave sez,

I have to confess that I wasn't good company to be around on Wednesday night. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was trying to shake off a cough. I was incredibly frustrated, too. We had made some incredibe progress! Ethan and I were less than forty-eight hours away from coming home; but the biggest hurdle was STILL ahead of us.

I could tell that Igor and Vicktor were doing EVERY thing they could to get things done as swiftly and efficiently as possible. I am very grateful to both of them that bringing Ethan home only took six weeks. It may have taken the same amount of time to bring Justin home, I don't remember off the top of my head, but they really work very hard to make sure it all goes along at a fast track.

If you remember, Monday was the first visit to the Embassy. I dropped off all the paperwork. I was invited back on Tuesday after two in the afternoon for the visa. But, on Tuesday, there was no passport, so i couldn't make the appointment. We finally got it on Wednesday, and had a really long delay at the doctor's office. It was decided that on Thursday, we would take advantage of a small, narrow window of opportunity to visit the doctor for the medical exam documents, and go from there.

So, I went to bed early feeling incredibly dejected, and concerned that we would get everything done in time to make our flight early Friday morning. My prayers were like the Psalms - Oh! Woe is me! Why hast thou forsaken me? Why have you turned your back on me? Why am I cast away? I was seeing only ONE set of footprints in the sand.

It snowed overnight, and all day Thursday. Big flakes. I'd once heard a theory that certain sizes of flakes tell the KIND of snow fall, but I couldn't remember if it was big flakes, big snow..or little flakes, big snow. We got a LOT of snow. The snow already on the ground had iced overnight, and by afternoon, it was all slushy and sloppy.

Ukraine is a country rich in history. 2,500 years old and full of history. They have wash machines, but they hang their clothes on clothes lines and clothing racks or heated pipes to dry. I can't imagine how Ukraine will ever modernize to the point where there will be room right next to a wash machine for a home or apartment dryer.

At McDonald's there was an employee with a traditional mop. At the orphanage, however, a mop is a "T", with a towel or a rag thrown over the end to clean the floors.

I didn't see anyone using a snow thrower. I saw men and women out with coal shovels and wheel barrels, moving snow manually. I saw crews using a flat piece of metal on a wood stick shoveling. I have a great respect for the people and how they do things.

With Sergei's help, we got Ethan's medical documents. When we got back in the car, I asked, "Embassy?" He nodded, grunted as if it were a given, and said, "Da."

With limited internet access, I had been trying to schedule an Embassy appointment to pick up the visa, but really didn't have any way of checking for confirmation. So we went, on faith, that I was able to get it rescheduled. On the ride over I kept kicking around in my mind, "What's the worst that could happen?" They would look at us standing in the snow, and turn us away? They could easily do that. Embassy visits are by appointment only. There is a man with a clipboard. If you get past him, you're golden and you're in. But, I would need to be on his clipboard. I prayed that we would be on his clipboard, or that there was some way he would have sympathy and pity on us and let us in.

On Monday, before all the snow, there was a guy still laying sod near the security bunker that guarded the Embassy. You can imagine that it is like a fort, this complex, and that the security office is the guard station leading to it. It really is a beautiful building. There are a number of steps leading down into a courtyard walk into the Consulate offices for visas. On Thursday, with all the snow, there was a guy with a snow thrower. Most of the people manning the security office were inside or nearer the front doors. I did not see the man with the clipboard. But I did see a security officer, and I showed my passport, and told him I was there to pick up my son's visa. He found the man with the clip-board, who asked when my appointment was for. I told him it should be for eleven. We were not on the clipboard. But, he brought us inside out of the cold and snow and called about our appointment. he told us to go through security and into the consulate. We were in!!! Praise God!

Once again I got a number and went right to window to see the same man from Monday. He had a big smile on his face. He asked me how I was, and without missing a beat, I said, "Years from now, we will laugh about this!" He asked for Ethan's medical documents and Ukrainian passport with a smile and invited us to sit and wait.

We were called to a different window by a woman. She went over each document with me. I had filled out everything, signing things before I should have. She asked me to raise my right hand, "sir, your OTHER right hand", and she swore me in on the validity of the forms I had filled out.

She told me that it would take a while for the visa to print. If it did not print in the next few minutes we would have to come back for it again after two. She invited me to sit and wait again.

I sat down and bowed my head and prayed.

A few minutes later she called me back up to the window, and said that the visa was printing and would be ready shortly.

WE HAD MADE IT!

We spent a little time at the orphanage after the Embassy, and then went back to the apartment. I grabbed my computer and we went to McDonald's to check in on messages. I had gotten a confirmation for an eleven o'clock appointment for Thursday. :)

Last year, Justin's and my last day was filled with "Justin no suh-leepin'! Popi, Justin no suh-leepin'!" This year, Ethan's chant was, "Me no sleep!" but I had him lay down around six thirty. We both napped, got up at midnight, and counted down until Sergei came at 2:40am to take us to the airport.

We had a 5:55am flight to Frankfurt. It takes an hour to get to the airport, and with the weather, it was agreed that we would go at 2:40am.

The question is not What happened on our flight home from Kiev, but rather, what DIDN'T happen! I was not kicked in the shins by a midget. That did NOT happen on our flight home. I made sure I had my document binder out to show off the court decree and any necessary documents whenever and wherever possible. After checking our suitcase, and going through security, there is a window where we had to show our passports. The uniformed guard looked over our passports, chatted with Ethan in Ukrainian, called over another operator, and then invited us into a small security office where he ran everything passed a supervisor, and Ethan was questioned further. We went back to the window, he gave us back our documents and passports and wished us a safe journey.

At a little after five came an announcement over the PA that the flight from Kiev to Frankfurt had been CANCELLED due to the conditions of the runways at the destination. It was like a cartoon, my jaw hit the floor with a loud, metal clang. All of the passengers crowded round the gate as an operator came over and quickly assured us that this information was INcorrect, and the flight was still on.

If you think ADOPTING a child is a challenge, try flying with one. Last year was a debacle with Justin! This year was just as big a challenge with Ethan. I've told the story that Justin was trying to watch movies with mature content and we spent almost the entire flight from Amsterdam to Minneapolis arguing. Ethan was so excited that he kept asking, "America? America? America?" We were over London. "America?" No. Montreal. "America?" No. Detroit. "America?" No. :) We got to Chicago, and he kept asking when we would meet Mama and Justin. He was fine watching kid's movies from Frankfurt to Chicago, he was constantly asking questions. The difficulty was giving him an answer he would UNDERSTAND. I could tell the day was starting to wear on him. Nine hours of sitting is hard on any one, including a child. There were extra passport checks throughout the day, but for the most part we kept moving from one flight to another pretty easily. I was not able to check in on Facebook, or get a Chicago style hot dog or any cool food at O'Hare, because we had to move through customs and the TSA office there, grab our bag, run it through security and then check it for the flight to MSP. We had to find our terminal and then our gate and then make sure that our seats were together for that flight. We had ridden trams to some of our flights throughout the day, stood in a number of different lines, and Ethan was now asking, "Bus? Car?" At one point he asked what color our car was? "Blue?" No, red. The color of our car is red.

We finally got off the plane in MSP, and met our friend, Mike, just coming in from his own flight, and he walked us down to our huge welcome home at baggage claim. After three weeks it was great to see Cathy's face again. After six weeks, it was great to see Justin's face. It was great to see as many other families from our "club" of adoptive families. It was great to see each one of them, and the signs welcoming Ethan home. He and Justin got two very nice Christmas presents; Thor and The Hulk. Justin handed his to me with a smile on his face and said, "Popi, I know you like this kinda stuff, we can share!" Yeah, buddy!

Naturally, our suitcase made one of the OTHER flights from Chicago, but we had time to take the boys to Nickelodeon Universe. Justin covered Ethan's eyes until he was standing in front of the bronze Spongebob statue. "Whoa!" was heard to exclaim.

Breakfast this morning is pancakes from IHOP.

It is good to be home.

The One About The US Embassy Visit...

Dave sez,

Hi! We are Cathy and Dave! This is our continuing adventure with our first son, Justin, and the journey to bring our second son, Ethan, home. When we first got married, Cathy wanted to start a family and have kids right away. I always thought that we would have plenty of time for that. So we focused on our careers. And when I say "we", I mean "me". Fourteen years, and a few job changes later, we found ourselves in Rochester, in a fertility program that diagnosed Cathy with cancer. I almost heard Louie Armstrong's "We Have All The Time In The World". I say almost, because the cancer was caught, removed and while we recovered, Cathy said that we needed to look into adoption. That was eight years ago. It's been almost two years, since I went "all in" and posted my determination on Facebook, "I want to be a dad in 2011." With a little help, Justin found us. He introduced us to his brother Ethan...

...And here we are, on our final Monday here in Kiev.

Sergei picked us up this morning at eight-fifteen and drove us to the US Embassy. It moved sometime in the last year. There was the Embassy; and a few blocks away was the Consulate offices in a separate building. Last Tuesday, when our facilitator, Vicktor, and I were at the Regional Office of Vital Records, he was explaining that the Embassy had moved and that I would need to make an appointment as soon as possible and let Igor know, so he could schedule Sergei to drive us, because it was, "absolutely not any where near a Metro station."

So we drove, with light flurries falling on the first Monday of December. Ethan's last Monday in Ukraine.

If I feel any guilt, it is when I come to the US Embassy. Not knowing where to go or what to do here at the new location, I walked up to a security guard, presented my passport, and told him I had an appointment. Like I did at the Consulate office last year with Justin. The guard walked me over to a man in civilian clothes with a clipboard. I presented my passport and he checked my name and appointment time off and told me to go right in. Ahead of every one else waiting in line. The building I went in was the security checkpoint. Pretty much like going through airport security. From experience, I brought only the paperwork I needed for Ethan's visa. Some Altoids. Cough drops. Along with the cell phone, Ethan and I surrendered our earbuds. We'll leave those at the apartment on our next visit.

With a smile we were directed on into the Consulate office and told where to go. I got a number that immediately corresponded to an open window. What are the odds that I would get the same person that helped me as last year - let along that I would remember that it was the same person that helped me last year? And what are the odds that all of this would happen at eight-forty in the morning? We spent a few minutes going over the packet of paperwork, and he directed me to another window, and told me to come right back afterward. By nine o'clock, we were finished and on our way back out.

We killed some time before having lunch at McDonald' at thirteen hundred hours. That's one o'clock to you and I westerners.

As the snowfall started to accumulate, we headed out to the orphanage for a bonus visit. And, what a bonus it was! The social worker gave me Ethan's school records and the classroom teacher found at least a half dozen certificates he had earned and three more certificates she still had for Justin! Bonus! A couple of the children started handing me drawings they had done for me and Cathy. Bonus! Masha handed me three that she had drawn: one of Bambi, one of a giraffe, and one of Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella posing. It looks like the teacher had written her name on the picture of the giraffe and the Disney Princesses. Bambi was drawn on a small square of graph paper. Bonus!

We got our timeline of what the next few days should look like: tomorrow will be a check on the progress of Ethan's Ukrainian passport. It may not be ready until Wednesday. We may need to reschedule our trip back to the Embassy. We'll have our visit with the doctor for his final physical on Thursday.

And that's it. We will be finished. Our journey to bring Ethan home to join Justin, along with Cathy an I (or is it "me") will be complete.

Just like last year, we will start a NEW chapter. Another year of firsts, this time for Ethan, and firsts for the rest of us as we go from THREE, to FOUR.

Who knows what the future holds?

The One That Pretty Much Covers The Last Couple Of Days...

Dave sez,

Whoo doggie!

It is Thursday morning. Ethan and I have some downtime. He is watching Spongebob, listening to Big Time Rush and working on his English. We are both here in the apartment in Kiev. Together. We have been working for a long time to reach today. I would almost say we have been working on it since January, or since Justin introduced us to Ethan as "Shani! My brother!"; but this is the same journey we have been on from the beginning.

Tuesday, I met our facilitator at 9am at the Novus grocery outside the final station stop on the Metro Red Line. There is a McDonald's inside the Novus. He drove me to the court to pick up the final decree. We got there around nine-fifteen. The judge, usually in at eight-thirty, did not arrive until nine-thirty. She passed the final decree to the Chief Judge, who reviewed the documents. While we waited we talked about the recent US election and the President. He asked if I had had a chance to vote at the US Embassy while I've been here. I told him I had voted early. He was very surprised by that, because Ukraine has only one election day, and if for whatever reason you miss your opportunity to vote, the opportunity is gone and lost. I told him that I had voted before Cathy and I left, that I had found an office where I could submit my ballot early. I told him that we have early absentee balloting in the states, and that I submitted my ballot and it was sealed until election day and then counted.

His son had a question about the legal drinking age in America. So we talked for a few minutes about whether or not it is legal ANY where, public or private to drink under the age of 21.

While we waited we were joined by a young woman with a stack of documents and a ream of copier paper. From his description, she and her husband are French-Canadian, living in Paris and adopting from Ukraine. They chatted about her process.

The Chief Justice finished his review and we received the final court decree at ten-thirty. By eleven we were at the regional Office of Vital Records. He asked if I remembered where we were going and I said yes. He asked me if I remembered how to get there. We had a good laugh at that. Our case was reviewed there, and we received documents that we could submit in Kiev at the city Office of Vital Records. We were coming pretty close to the lunch hour, where most government and business offices that run eight to five shut down and close for an hour lunch break - can you imagine it? - so, we stopped in to drop off some documents at the District Office of Juvenile Services.

Here we went through the security check-point right inside the door, up a couple steps and around the corner to the office where he delivered our paperwork. I waited out in the hall. At the stroke of one, a security officer began clearing the building, inviting people to exit immediately. He looked at me and firmly said something that I did not understand. I did get the tone of his voice and his gesturing, so I got up from where I was sitting and went back to the front door on the other side of the security gate. I waited a moment as my our facilitator returned, and we walked back to his car.

We got to the city Office of Vital Records and only had to wait thirty minutes for it to re-open after lunch. This was where we had the longest wait last year for Justin's new birth certificate. Last year, there was a large crowd and a long line before lunch, and the chief was absent, so we spent the better part of the day just waiting at this office. Tuesday, there were only two other people waiting, and it only took an hour.

By four o'clock we had applied for Ethan's new tax identification number.

All throughout the day, he checked in on other cases he was working on; so, when we finished at the Tax Administration Office, it was near rush hour, we would not have made it to the Notary before it closed at five, we agreed to meet Wednesday morning to do that, and he dropped me back at the Metro station so I could head out to see Ethan, and pick up the DC cord for my computer.

It took a little longer to catch a 507, but I made it out to see him, and we spent about an hour together before I headed back to Kiev for the night.

Wednesday was a short visit to the Notary that only took about ninety minutes to wrap up and I was on my way to see Ethan.

I had the most important form to sign; his release form from the orphanage.

We were able to get his passport photo taken; then we spent some time together before his big, grande final performance.

After he performed with the children one last time, he said "Baka" (Goodbye) to them all and we left. It was very difficult to leave the other children, especially Masha.

Last year, Justin quietly absorbed every thing with wonder. We got on the 507 back to Holosiivska station, and Justin talked with a little girl on the ride, while looking out the back window. We at McDonald's and headed back to the apartment. This year, Ethan was full of questions. When Ethan and I are together - it's a lot like when Justin and I are together - it reminds me of Bill Bixby and Brandon Cruse together in The Courtship of Eddie's Father. Ever couple of seconds I hear "Popi?" "Yeeauh?" We go to bus to Kiev. Yeeauh. How far? One, two, three stops? I've never really counted the stops, so I don't know how to answer that question, but I spent most of the bus ride calming him down. I had given him the fare and told him to give it to the driver and say "Dva." So he did. He waited for the driver to take the fare from his hand rather than setting it on the engine hump like every one else - including me - does.

At the Holosiivska Metro station, I handed him his token and showed him what to do with it.

On the subway ride, he asked how many stops, so I showed him the map and we counted down to Maidan Station.

Coming up out of the subway station into Independence Square we took a couple of seconds to look all around. Then, I asked him where McDonald's was. he couldn't see it for all the lit up signs, so I pointed it out to him. We got dinner and jumped on the Number Eighteen back to the apartment. "Another bus?!" Yeeauh. This is how I've been coming to see you every day...

In no time at all we were back at the apartment, having our dinner. Before bed, he spent the night playing games, listening to my iPod and watching television. He explored the apartment some. He's doing more of all of that today.

We have a kind of slow day ahead of us, so we might head down for lunch at McDonald's or maybe pizza. I'll make sure I do most of the ordering. Last year, Justin ordered a whole extra pizza of his own without me catching it.

It looks like the only things left are to visit the US Embassy for his visa and have his final physical and we should be ready to head home. We are sixteen days away from coming back!