Notes From Our "Happily Ever After"

 

 



Dave sez,

 

...And they all lived happily ever after.

 

THE END

THE BEGINNING!

 



So, here's what I'm wondering, what do YOU consider a special occasion? In no particular order, here's what I consider special occasions: my birthday; Father's Day; definitely Cathy's and my anniversary, her birthday and Mother's Day; family and friends' birthdays and anniversaries - at least the ones that Facebook is kind enough to remind me of; and, Christmas and Easter. Probably right up there with Cathy's special days are the special days with the kids~

Monday, January 3rd, the day that we first met Justin.

August 10th, Justin's birthday.

Friday, September 23rd, the day we first met Ethan.

 

His birthday is September 8th.

 

 

Sunday, October 23rd, the day Justin came home for good.

December 29th, 2011, the day we picked Ethan up from the airport for his three week visit. He was with us through Martin Luther King Day.

 

 

October 29th, was when we headed back to bring Ethan home.

 

November 16th was his Court Date.

 

December 7th, he finally came home for good.

 

 

But not before he introduced us to our daughter, Bells.

 

November 18th, was when we knew that Bells had picked us to be her parents and didn't want to be anyone else's daughter.

Her birthday is April 12th.

April 30th was her Court Date.

Friday, May 30th was when she finally came home for good.

We've been enjoying our "Happily Ever After". It's been pretty challenging for the boys to adjust to having a sister. Justin is pretty rugged. And modest. And shy. He and Ethan have been pretty confused that Bella would not want to try to keep up with them. She's not really into sports; so, basketball, soccer, baseball and football this summer have been out of the question. The trampoline has been the big deal. Justin will not take no for an answer when it comes to the trampoline. It helps that Bella enjoys "Popi-corn" just as much as both boys. (If you're not familiar with "Popi-corn", that is where all three kids sit Indian-style - with their legs crossed, holding their toes - and Popi - that would be me - jumps on the trampoline until they let go of their toes, uncross their legs and flop around like fish on the trampoline.

I'm not rocket-brain surgeon, but from what I have seen and experienced with the kids, I'm convinced that they have learned things, certain habits, that help them deal with and cope with the unique experiences they have gone through. Justin has learned to be aggressive and assertive. A take-charge, Alpha. He's the protector and defender. He's curious and wants to know everything. Knowing is a certain sense of control and security. Ethan tries so hard to be likeable. He's always smiling always laughing, always trying to be funny. Cathy or I will ask Justin or Bella a question and we'll hear Ethan answer it. He starts a lot of sentences with, "I think" and then tells us what he thinks Justin or Bells likes or thinks. The challenge we're finding for Ethan is to carve out a singular, individual identity. Justin likes soccer and gymnastics. Ethan likes wrestling.

Bells is still adjusting to being home and part of a family. Like the boys, she's finding that she has a Mom and Dad. There are rules and expectations. There are consequences. Bad habits are easy when you are one of a dozen or more, like in a classroom. But, when you are part of a family, and it's more one-on-one, bad habits tend to stick out more. Cathy and I are pretty familiar with each one of our kids' personalities and we're learning more and more how to handle bad habits and behaviors. I remember most of the things that were going through my head when I was their age. Most kids have an elaborate Rube Goldberg plan that they are always working on; a series of steps from where they are to where they want to be and what they want to have or achieve. It's like those Tom & Jerry or Road Runner cartoons, where Tom or Wile E. Coyote come up with this elaborate scheme. The ultimate goal is to develop the perfect mouse trap; or capture the Road Runner for dinner. What I've found is that it keeps me on my toes, so that it turns into more of a Mad magazine Spy vs. Spy game. Unfortunately, I've never been very good at chess, so it's a challenge to block each one of their moves. It's better to point them in the right direction and show patience and understanding. Most of those elaborate devices evaporate when it becomes clear that there's an easier, more direct path from Point A to Point B. I've been asking Ethan what he wants. When he tells me, I tell him what he has to do, or the effort he has to give to achieve it. "What do you want, and what are you willing to give for it?" We all want something. Nothing comes without effort.

 

Justin had been going to karate, but needed a little time to adjust to regular seventh grade classes. It was a challenge for him going from a single classroom to running from classroom to classroom for seven different classes. Now that he's gotten a better handle on that he is taking gymnastics. Bells, Ethan and I have been going and watching him.

He's been awesome to watch. We're hoping to get Ethan and Bells into something like that. They both have to improve just a little on their English skills to be ready for sports and activities. Listening to the instructors and coaches and being able to communicate is an important skill. That starts at home. It's a work in progress.

So, that's what's been going on in our little "Happily Ever After".

 

THE BEGINNING

Never Let You Go

Dave sez, To our son Justin, on the occasion of his 13th birthday, Sunday, August 10th, 2014.

Dear Justin,

 

Happy birthday!

Here are some words I would like to pass along to you by writer Rudyard Kipling~

If—

By Rudyard Kipling (1865–1936)       

 

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

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Source: A Choice of Kipling's Verse (1943)

 

War!

Dave sez, If you're the least bit squeamish, I'll understand.

The legendary John Wayne as "The Shootist"

 

Cathy and I like John Wayne movies. It's one of the few things we have in common. Ha. I like The Marx Brothers, The Three Stooges and Adam West as Batman. I like Gilligan's Island and Get Smart. She likes romances. Jane Austen, Nora Roberts, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, The Lifetime Movie Channel and Hallmark romances. We do agree on Friends - although she jumped onboard the bandwagon a little late on that one - and John Wayne. She likes McClintock!, Donovan's Reef, Hellfighters and The Quiet Man. I like The Shootist and Big Jake. We'll watch marathons of that same movie he made three times - Rio Bravo; with Dean Martin and Rick Nelson; El Dorado with Robert Mitchum and Angie Dickinson; and Rio Lobo. Only John Wayne could make the same movie three different times! We have our favorites, but we could sit and watch and watch any John Wayne movie.

Justin introduced us to Hindi films. Each one three hours long and all with several musical numbers. Each of the Bollywood films we've watched together have a moral, value or principle to them. I've shared the story before that while Justin and I were in Kiev, he found the film Mohabbatein on television and watched the entire film and sang along with the songs. I'd say that's pretty mature and heavy stuff for a ten-year-old; but, I remember some of the movies I liked growing up, not all of them were Disney animated films.

Honorable number two son, Ethan, has shown an interest in WWE and "fight" films. The interest came from playing WWE video games. When he came back to the apartment from the orphanage, the first movie he found to watch was Mel Gibson's The Passion of The Christ. Set aside how you feel about Mel Gibson for a second, a film about The Savior's crucifixion is pretty intense for adults, let alone a twelve-year-old. But he sat through the entire thing.

One thing we have noticed is that Ethan seems a little de-sensitized. He doesn't grasp the separation between real and fictional pain.

We chuckle when Justin sees an actor as the character he plays. I did the same thing growing up. Robert Conrad was James West. William Shatner was Captain Kirk. Bob Denver was Gilligan.

Both boys watch movies or television programs and ask if it is "real". Movies tell stories, and some of them are based on real life. Titanic, Apollo 13, The Ten Commandments; those things actually happened...just not the way Hollywood may have imagined.

We're trying to pass along an empathy to Ethan. Pain and suffering is something to sympathize with, not laugh at and find humorous. When someone gets hurt or killed in a movie, that's not the comic relief.

Over the last couple of months, with everything going on in Ukraine, he's asked to watch War movies. Every one has a different opinion of War movies. Even the War movies themselves have different opinions of War. There are people that believe in the glory and necessity of war. There are those that see a futility in war. We had to fight for our independence as a country. Then we turned right around and fought to make this country ours. The debate that Cathy and I are having is what War films are age appropriate. Ethan and his school friends are playing video games that are pretty graphic.

He's been pretty frustrated while we try to decide.

During summer vacation we all take turns picking a movie to watch after dinner. He keeps asking for a War film.

U-571

The other night we sat down and watched U-571. Justin is not interested in War films; Bella spends most of the movie covering her eyes. But we have an agreement. We all watch the movie, no matter what it is to show courtesy and respect to the person that picked it, whether we like it or not. We've had a couple of instances of "I'm not gonna watch that!" I point out our agreement. We watch whatever movie is picked, whether we like it or not; otherwise there's no point to having the choice. Choice includes compromise. I sit through a lot of Jane Austen and Nora Roberts just to get to the explosions in a Stallone or Schwarzenegger movie.

A few weeks ago, for Independence Day, we watched Mel Gibson's The Patriot. 

I'm going to Google and Netflix and trying to put together a list I'm comfortable with of War films. I enjoy watching Patton. I'm not sure Ethan's ready for Black Hawk Down or Saving Private Ryan. Maybe another one to throw on there might be The Pianist; and maybe The Great Escape. I doubt that anyone is ready yet for M*A*S*H, Apocalypse Now or The Deer Hunter. Each one of the kids has trouble sleeping from bad dreams that have nothing to do with War movies. They're worried about monsters under the bed, zombies, vampires and sharknados. Watching Twister did nothing to help Ethan with his dread of tornados. That's all we heard about last summer; questions about whether or not we would have a tornado.

I look at Ethan and War movies like his first beer. I'd rather he have his first beer at home. I've told him the same thing I've told his brother; that when he gets old enough, we'll all go out as a family for his first drink. I want all three of them to develop good habits in a family environment, rather than feeling they have to do what they want apart from the rest of us. Cathy and I watch action films together. There's not that much difference between Patton and, say, Terminator or Predator.

Hopefully, giving him an opportunity to watch War films in a safe and non-threatening family environment will help with his fascination. Watching U-571, he asked who the good guys and the bad guys were. We talked about Hitler and his "master race". There's a kind of gunfighter theme, whether it's a John Wayne movie, Tombstone, Unforgiven, Gladiator, 300 or Patton. It all boils down to standing up against the bad guy and his gang or army. Whether it's a land baron and a range war; a rich man trying to get his brother out of jail; or a madman trying to take over the world and remake it in his own image. It's a battle between good and evil. The same conflict in any Harry Potter movie.

Hopefully, he'll learn some history and how important it is to stand up for what's right.

I'm thinking that along with watching Patton, we should watch The Alamo. I'm trying to remember what films are set against the Civil War...     

             

Our Happily Ever After

Dave sez, So, here we all are. Ten years later, enjoying our happily ever after.

Eleven years ago, Cathy and I moved to Rochester from Columbus, and she decided that I'd put her off long enough. After thirteen years, she wanted to settle down and have a family. Just being a couple wasn't enough any more. Looking into a fertility program, Cathy was diagnosed with cancer. That was ten years ago this month. While she was in recovery from surgery, she wanted to look at adoption programs. It took a while, but Justin found us. He found us through a friend, who saw a status on Facebook that was a New Year's resolution: "I want to be a dad in 2011." I had a week of vacation that first week of January 2011. It was his last week of a three week hosting program. I picked him up on Monday. By Wednesday, he told Cathy and me that he loved us. It was in the drive through at McDonald's. Talk about your Happy Meal! Nine months later, on October 23rd, 2011, he came home for good.

The hardest part of that trip was being away from home.

Dave with Milo and Max

Cathy loves dogs. We've had bassets over the years. We had two in Columbus. An eight-year-old that we rescued, named Mopsie. She was a part of our family until her health went downhill. Cathy and I said goodbye to her together. We found a family that had basset puppies. We got one and named her Millie. We took her to the vet to be spayed. She didn't make it through the surgery. We found a breeder in Bowden, Georgia. That's where we found Milo. He was five months old. He was all by himself. I think it was 2002 that we brought him home. As he got older his temperament changed. He startled easily and became more defensive. We had to be careful when Justin visited. We hoped they would get along.

Along with Milo, we found Max from a family in Kasson. We rescued another basset we named Kirby. Kirby was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After Kirby passed, we added Maize to the family. She was a puppy.

The Friday before Justin and I came home, Cathy had to take Milo to the vet. He had a mass around his heart. There was nothing anyone could do. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Milo. He and I were close. It was hard not being there for him and for Cathy. It was hard not seeing him when we came home. But, Cathy and I were starting a new family.

Bells, Justin & Ethan

We brought Justin home in October 2011. Ethan came home in December of 2012. Wednesday, July 30th marked two months since Bella came home.

Two months!

In mid-May, while Bella and I were still in Kiev, I got a message from my sister that our mom had gone into the emergency room. It started out that she was having trouble standing and walking. It was a blood clot in one of her legs. In the emergency room, it was discovered that she had fluid around her heart and in her lungs. Before they could save her leg, they had to save her life. They managed to do both, and she spent a few weeks in rehab working to get her strength back in her leg. It's not easy being so far away from home when something like that happens. The good news is that the kids will have a chance to have their grandmother around a little longer.

Right now we're at the ten year mark. It's been ten years since Cathy was diagnosed with cancer. Ten years since we started our adoption journey.

Now that all of our kids are home, our journey has changed.

The adventure is not bringing them home any more. The adventure is what we do together as a family. How we adjust. How the kids adjust to having a father and a mother. How they adjust to having rules and boundaries. How they adjust to being part of a family. How they adjust to having chores and responsibilities. How they adjust to being accountable for things they do and say. How they adjust to being brothers and sister. How we adjust to being parents and having two sons and a daughter.

We have reached the end of one journey, and the beginning of another.

Happily Ever After isn't a destination. It's a journey, too. One careful step at a time.

This is the picture that started it all. Justin, January 2011

First Fourth

Children of Hope Summer Trip to Crimea

Dave sez, Justin asked if we could go to the pool. Last summer, he and Ethan spent nearly every weekend there.

So, we went to Shopko to get Bella a bathing suit. She wasn't having any of it. She was being particularly difficult. But then, we were all standing around her, trying to help her decide what kind of bathing suit to pick.

"No! I don't want!" She kept saying to Mom.

Cathy had four different selections and a skirt. Her brothers were voting for their selection. "C'mon, Bella!" they were saying.

Since it was the Fourth, the pool was only open until five.

We needed the wisdom of Solomon.

Pick two. The nicest two, and the skirt, and let's go. That's what I heard myself say. I'm not sure if it was exasperation or inspiration. I hate shopping. I'm a hunter/gatherer. I get in, get what I need and go. My idea of an eternal hell is walking up and down every aisle of the grocery store. It's torture. Make a list, shop the necessary aisles and move on. Shopping is a journey, not a destination. It is something on the way to another thing. This was a bathing suit on the way to the pool.

Then we discovered that Justin was wearing Ethan's sandals. He'd outgrown his own and needed new ones. There wasn't a boys size five anywhere to be found. You can tell the difference between boys and girls flip-flops, even when they are designed to be unisex. I'd reached the point where I wanted to claw the skin off my face. If Ethan didn't mind loaning Justin his sandals; and Justin didn't mind borrowing same, there was no real threat to the delicate balance of the universe. We could leave well enough alone. So we did.

We left the store with the option that Bella could swim if she wanted to or sit poolside with Mom.

Four to six weeks a year, the kids of Children of Hope orphanage headed down to the Black Sea of Crimea for a summer trip. I'm thinking that that ended when the Soviet Union retook the region not to long ago. We have pictures of both boys with the other children enjoying their time there. Bella may have gone on a couple of trips there, but there really is no sure way to know if she went swimming. There's no local pools near the orphanage or in Kiev like we have here. Her first Fourth may have included her first bathing suit with the option to swim.

I've been married for nearly a quarter century. I make no claim to understanding women. With Bella I can see clues and signs that she might be self-conscious. She might not be ready to put on a swimming suit and take the plunge. Which is fine. We'll sit topside and watch the boys together. Maybe that's another reason she picked the new name Isabella.

After the pool, I thought it would be nice to head over to where the Memorial was, not too far away.

Ethan, Justin and Bella at the Gettysburg Address

We walked all the way around the outside and then the inside of the Memorial. Ethan and I looked at the number of casualties and wounded. He asked if we could watch a war movie. Since we would be heading to watch fireworks, I told him we could watch a war movie tomorrow (Saturday). I was trying to think which war movie would be right for them to see. Saving Private Ryan? Then it hit me. It was the Fourth. The Patriot. It is not just a war movie, or a movie about Independence. It is a Hollywood, glamourized version of how a father protects his children and fights for the cause of freedom. There are moments when Mel Gibson's father tries to instruct his headstrong son, Heath Ledger. The exchange when Heath Ledger returns to his regiment always gets me. Ledger says he is not a child.

"You're my child!" Gibson barks at him. Gibson's character's whole reason for not engaging in the war for independence is that he is a widowed father of seven. He tells the congress that he's a parent and he doesn't have the luxury of principles. When one son is shot dead and his eldest - Ledger - is taken off to the gallows by Lucius Malfoy, he changes. At first Justin didn't want to watch the movie. He didn't want to watch a violet war movie. He went into his room. It was right before Malfoy fired that he had wandered back out. He sat and watched for a bit. "He looks familiar," Justin said of the Colonel. "Where do I know him from?"

"You cost me my servant!" I said to him, followed by my best, "You shall not harm Harry Potter!"

Oh, yeah...

We discovered the night before that this is Justin's third Fourth and Ethan's second. We talked a little bit about "freedom" and "independence". Who makes us free. Free from what? To do what?

Lee Greenwood's song is pretty much a staple this time of year. I don't like many Billy Ray Cyrus songs; but, he does have one that is right for the Fourth.

"All gave some/Some gave all".

Getting To Know You/Getting To Know All About You...

 

Dave sez, Our children are miracles, I am convinced. At just the right time, Justin found us. Nine months after he came to visit us, we brought him home. While we were over in Kiev, he introduced us to Ethan. He came to visit a couple months later, over Christmas and New Years. Eleven months later, Ethan came home to stay. While we were in Kiev to bring him home, he introduced us to Bella. That was November, 2012. She finally came home to stay a little over thirty days ago.

First Shave

If you are a parent, the FIRST lesson you learn is that nuh-thang can prepare you to be a mom or a dad. There are books you can read; we've read books. There are workshops; we've done workshops. There's counselling; we've gone to counselling. We saw a counselor who led us through a workshop session and then sold us a book. We're re-reading it, it's a really good book.

We knew that Ethan would be excited to have Bella home as his sister. He was the one who asked.

"Masha...sister?"

We spent time with both kids together in Kiev before Ethan came home for good. His question almost every day was, "When will we talk to Masha?"

We weren't sure how excited Justin would be to have a sister. Especially one he hadn't met, spent time with, or gotten to know.

Justin was really very self-conscious about talking with Bells on Skype. He had forgotten quite a bit of Ukrainian in the Newcomers program while we were getting ready to bring Ethan home. We had to keep telling him that Bella needed to hear our voices and see our faces. It didn't matter what we talked with her about. We took her on a tour around the house; we showed her our yard; we introduced her to her new dogs, Max, Maize and Peanut. We just talked to her. The important thing was to let her know we loved her and she would be coming home soon.

We hadn't forgotten her.

I kept telling her that we were coming to bring her home soon. My definition of "soon" was to stretch out my arms and hold my hands apart. By January, I was holding my hands just inches apart under my chin.

"Soon."

 

And then, we were all home. Because of what was going on in Kiev, we didn't go out very much.

 

Justin had a couple of things to adjust to. First, that his sister, Bella, is a girl. B, she's not much of a tomboy. The best way to describe Justin is that he is an Energizer Bunny.

 

He just keeps going, and going, and going, and going; until he flops into bed at the end of the day to go to sleep - and even then he has to be tied down and sedated. We don't really do that, but you kinda get the idea. He's indefatigable. He can get up, get ready for school; play a little one-on-one before the bus; shoot some hoops after school; hop on the trampoline, then watch a block of Avatar and still not be ready for bedtime.

Ethan, on the other hand, is happy as a clam to sit downstairs by himself and play video games. He has little energy and a short attention span for much physical activity. He reminds me so much of me. I guess when I was younger I would have been considered either Goth or a vampire, because I hardly ever went outside; I thought I would either melt or fry in direct sunlight.

I really wish I could stop making an ash of myself...

We didn't ask questions about Bella while we were in Kiev to bring Ethan home. We didn't ask many questions before going to bring her home. We agreed that we would find out every thing about her at our SDA appointment and from the orphanage when we went back to bring her home. What we found out was that she is a little more like Ethan than Justin.

As excited as Justin is to have his sister home; he's just a little bit bummed out that she can't keep up with him. That she doesn't even try! Of course, she came home and was immediately overwhelmed by two brand new brothers! The first thirty days she hasn't really had much personal space from her brothers. She's taken to spending whatever free time she can steal away from them in her room.

Said the Energizer Bunny in frustration about his sister, "She sucks!" Remember girls, he's single! And quite the catch!

Now, I kid, because I love.

Justin is worried that he is losing his special relationship with Mom. She has a daughter to have things in common with. Justin is worried that he'll be replaced. He has to sit next to Mom, between her and Bells on the sofa. Hopefully sooner rather than later the light bulb will go on. We're being patient and waiting for Bells to come out of her shell a little. Ethan...well, he's pretty much Ethan. His Ethan-ness is pretty much unique. Sometimes bordering on legendary. He has his moments. We all do.

So far, the good moments outweigh the bad. The bad, are few and far between.

Thirty Days

First month!

Dave sez,

Today is Monday, June 30th, 2014. Bella has been home for a month now...

Bells and I flew out of Barispol Kiev, Friday, May 30th. It was the third time I'd left Kiev. The third time wasn't any easier than the first. As much as Cathy and I worked with Bells on her sentences and English, she wasn't that much different from Ethan and Justin. As far as we knew, she had never been outside of Kiev, or out of Ukraine. The airport was just as new and strange as her home was going to be. At five-thirty in the morning we sat in the airport. For the third time, I was nervous about the precious cargo I was bringing home with me.

Justin and I flew through Amsterdarn. Both Ethan and Bella flew back with me through Frankfurt. Passing through security, I handed Ethan's and my passports to one of the officers. The officer looked at the passports, then Ethan and I. The passports, then Ethan and I again. He motioned us to follow him into a small office where other officers were sitting around a desk. There was an officer sitting behind the desk. He talked with Ethan. I can only imagine that he was asking my son if he really wanted to go home with me. I stood there praying that he would answer, "Yes." As we found a seat and waited for our flight. There was an announcement that our flight to Frankfurt had been cancelled because of the runway conditions there. I must have looked especially nervous after talking to security, because a man sitting behind us turned around and told us that there was some mistake and that there would be another announcement any minute correcting the error. He was right. There was a mistake. There was another announcement. Our flight was still on.

Bells sat quietly with me as we waited for our flight. She kept up with me as we made our way through the airport in Frankfurt from Gate B to Gate Z. When Justin and I caught our connection in Amsterdarn, he and I disagreed over what movies he could and would watch on the long flight to the Twin Cities. Ten-year-old Justin wanted to watch a movie called The Hangover Part II. I was hoping that he would watch Green Lantern, or one of the animated features available on the flight. He and I argued and struggled for most of the flight, up until the final two hours. Ethan found a couple comedies and laughed loudly watching them. A man across the aisle from us kept looking over at me with a big grin on his face. With Bells, I watched a few episodes of The Big Bang Theory and, Saving Mr. Banks. She watched a couple movies, Saving Mr. Banks was one she started. Mostly, though, she slept on the flight.

Justin was a handful getting through Customs at MSP. Ethan and I had a short wait at Customs at O'Hare. When Bells and I made our way through O'Hare Customs it was a madhouse. I didn't sleep or nap on the flight. By the time we got to Chicago, I was beat. With each of the three kids I had a big gold envelope to hand off at Customs. All three times we ended up in a huge crowd together. With Bells, I pulled out the envelope and held it up like John Cusack in Say Anything. A sympathetic Customs agent directed me and Bella to the right gate. The officer at the gate directed us to another officer who escorted us to a waiting area. We waited for about fifteen or twenty minutes while the envelope was processed. From there we were directed to exit Gate 3. Which on a Friday afternoon at the end of May was closed. We made our way through the mob at Gate 1. Then there was another twenty minute wait for one of Chicago's Finest to come back from lunch and wade through a stack of packets including ours so we could make our connection. There was an officer covering the counter while he was gone. Multitasking. He was not happy. He made sure we all knew. Loudly. I'm pretty sure even the suburbs were glad when the officer came back from lunch to man his station. Our 3:35 flight boarded at a quarter after. Once we were through and racing to our gate we joined the crowd at 3:16.

When Bella and I got off our flight at MSP, her adventure was just beginning. She now had a family and two brothers to adjust to...

 

Stay tuned!