Getting To Know You/Getting To Know All About You...

 

Dave sez, Our children are miracles, I am convinced. At just the right time, Justin found us. Nine months after he came to visit us, we brought him home. While we were over in Kiev, he introduced us to Ethan. He came to visit a couple months later, over Christmas and New Years. Eleven months later, Ethan came home to stay. While we were in Kiev to bring him home, he introduced us to Bella. That was November, 2012. She finally came home to stay a little over thirty days ago.

First Shave

If you are a parent, the FIRST lesson you learn is that nuh-thang can prepare you to be a mom or a dad. There are books you can read; we've read books. There are workshops; we've done workshops. There's counselling; we've gone to counselling. We saw a counselor who led us through a workshop session and then sold us a book. We're re-reading it, it's a really good book.

We knew that Ethan would be excited to have Bella home as his sister. He was the one who asked.

"Masha...sister?"

We spent time with both kids together in Kiev before Ethan came home for good. His question almost every day was, "When will we talk to Masha?"

We weren't sure how excited Justin would be to have a sister. Especially one he hadn't met, spent time with, or gotten to know.

Justin was really very self-conscious about talking with Bells on Skype. He had forgotten quite a bit of Ukrainian in the Newcomers program while we were getting ready to bring Ethan home. We had to keep telling him that Bella needed to hear our voices and see our faces. It didn't matter what we talked with her about. We took her on a tour around the house; we showed her our yard; we introduced her to her new dogs, Max, Maize and Peanut. We just talked to her. The important thing was to let her know we loved her and she would be coming home soon.

We hadn't forgotten her.

I kept telling her that we were coming to bring her home soon. My definition of "soon" was to stretch out my arms and hold my hands apart. By January, I was holding my hands just inches apart under my chin.

"Soon."

 

And then, we were all home. Because of what was going on in Kiev, we didn't go out very much.

 

Justin had a couple of things to adjust to. First, that his sister, Bella, is a girl. B, she's not much of a tomboy. The best way to describe Justin is that he is an Energizer Bunny.

 

He just keeps going, and going, and going, and going; until he flops into bed at the end of the day to go to sleep - and even then he has to be tied down and sedated. We don't really do that, but you kinda get the idea. He's indefatigable. He can get up, get ready for school; play a little one-on-one before the bus; shoot some hoops after school; hop on the trampoline, then watch a block of Avatar and still not be ready for bedtime.

Ethan, on the other hand, is happy as a clam to sit downstairs by himself and play video games. He has little energy and a short attention span for much physical activity. He reminds me so much of me. I guess when I was younger I would have been considered either Goth or a vampire, because I hardly ever went outside; I thought I would either melt or fry in direct sunlight.

I really wish I could stop making an ash of myself...

We didn't ask questions about Bella while we were in Kiev to bring Ethan home. We didn't ask many questions before going to bring her home. We agreed that we would find out every thing about her at our SDA appointment and from the orphanage when we went back to bring her home. What we found out was that she is a little more like Ethan than Justin.

As excited as Justin is to have his sister home; he's just a little bit bummed out that she can't keep up with him. That she doesn't even try! Of course, she came home and was immediately overwhelmed by two brand new brothers! The first thirty days she hasn't really had much personal space from her brothers. She's taken to spending whatever free time she can steal away from them in her room.

Said the Energizer Bunny in frustration about his sister, "She sucks!" Remember girls, he's single! And quite the catch!

Now, I kid, because I love.

Justin is worried that he is losing his special relationship with Mom. She has a daughter to have things in common with. Justin is worried that he'll be replaced. He has to sit next to Mom, between her and Bells on the sofa. Hopefully sooner rather than later the light bulb will go on. We're being patient and waiting for Bells to come out of her shell a little. Ethan...well, he's pretty much Ethan. His Ethan-ness is pretty much unique. Sometimes bordering on legendary. He has his moments. We all do.

So far, the good moments outweigh the bad. The bad, are few and far between.