A Bend In The Road

Dave sez,

So, Cathy and I had been talking about, What next?

Once Bella was home, what next?
We'd spent the last few years making an almost annual journey to Novisilky, and Kiev, Ukraine. What next?

Here's what I told her: The journey doesn't just end when all of our children are home. There's a bend in the road.

The first bend came while Bella and I were still in the Kiev. We spent the month of May staying very close to the apartment because of what was going on there in the city. We got updates from the embassy to be very cautious going out in public and being anywhere near large crowds.

I got an urgent message from my sister about my mom. It was right after Mom's birthday. She and a girlfriend had gone out to dinner for their May birthdays. Mom doesn't drive anymore and her girlfriend picked her up, they went out to dinner. They were going to do some shopping, but first, Mom stopped back by her apartment. She sat down in her apartment and couldn't get back up again. One ambulance ride to the ER later and we found out she had a blood clot in her leg and fluid around her heart. The doctors were working hard to save both her life and her leg. Mom spent a few weeks in the hospital and then in assisted living.

The folks taking care of her suggested permanent assisted living. Cathy and I talked about it. She had a better idea.

We would "adopt" my Mom.

When Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer, Cathy and I talked and she agreed with me it would be a good idea if they lived with us. They lived with us a few years before Dad passed away. Mom lived with us off and on and nearby off and on. I promised Dad that we would keep an eye on each other and that we would try to be alright. If he was tired and wanted to rest, that was okay.

We moved Mom in with us. It was another adjustment period. Each one of the kids is still adjusting. Justin is still adjusting to Cathy and I. We're adjusting to him. He's adjusting to Ethan, who's still adjusting to Cathy and I. Both Justin and Ethan are adjusting to having a sister. Each one of the kids is adjusting to each other and adjusting to having parents, rules and authority. Add to the adjustment a grandmother. Someone who gives love, hugs and candy freely, unconditionally, without strings.

 

Mom had a little bit of adjusting to do, too. When Mom and Dad first came to live with us, they had to downsize a home they built over thirty-some odd years. Mom had to downsize her apartment even more to come live with us.

There's been a bend in the road for Bella. She's transitioning from the Newcomers program to regular classes. In case you're not familiar with what a Newcomers program is; our three kids have been going across town to where the Newcomers program is. Each school has different grades for newcomers. Justin and Ethan started out at Riverside Elementary, on the other side of town. Riverside has Kindergarten through Fifth Grade Newcomers.

Justin has gone a little bit farther. He spent a year and summer school over at Willow Creek Middle School. He was there for Sixth Grade Newcomers. He's at his normal school now, in regular, mainstream classes with an ESL class. To give you an idea of the kind of bend in the road Bells is adjusting to; all three kids have been in an ESL Newcomers program. It's usually a single classroom with a teaching staff. The teachers work with the kids in the classroom. I don't mean this in a negative or a derogatory way, but it's almost a cocoon. Or a protective bubble. Which is what they need when they first come here and start school. It would be foolish to just throw them into the deep end of the pool, so to speak, with mainstream classes. The adjustment for Justin going from a single classroom, where he was with his classmates and his teacher; was, to go from that, to hoofing it around school from classroom to classroom. He had tardies, he was stressed, he got behind in his homework. He got behind, because he was working off a bad habit of doing his homework in the classroom, while the teacher was teaching another subject. The good news for Justin is that we hunkered down and got him back on track, while we were bringing Ethan home and we were all adjusting to one another.

It is great to hear that Bella is slowly transitioning to regular classes. The scary news for me is that next year, she will be joining Justin as a Freshman in high school.

A bend in the road.

Ethan is still a work in progress. He's what I would call a slow cooker. He simmers...or marinates. He's very much like me, so he may just be a late bloomer. What he needs is a Mom and Dad with a deep and unending supply of patience. Fortunately, Cathy and I have had some experience in the patience department. She and I are both very impatient people, so we know how to handle Ethan. (ba-dum-bump! Thank you ladies and germs, I'll be here all week! And don't forget to tip your waitress, she's been good to you!)

Now, I've just recently had another bend in the road. One that's given me time to work with Cathy on collecting all of the blogs we've written while we were bringing Justin home in 2011. I wanted to put some things into perspective, since Justin and my mom have never read any of the blogs. I wanted to make it a keepsake for them and share the hope, inspiration and growth that Cathy and I went through.

I took a class last October, taught by my friend, The Med City Movie Guy, Chris Miksanek. The class was all about De-Mystifying Print On Demand. It's a fantastic class, and I highly recommend it. If you have the desire to write, whether it's a zombie apocalypse novel, a travelogue, a family history or even a cookbook, Print On Demand is the simplest, easiest way to go. Since October, Cathy and I have been collecting the blogs into Word and adding pictures. Then we started editing and proof-reading. We asked some very good friends to help us with editing and proof-reading. We took our manuscript online for a print on demand book and edited it more to a final print version.

What we want to do is a book for each one of our kids that we can also share with anyone that wants to read all of the blogs in one sitting, or, like Justin and Mom, have not read them before.

Here's what the cover looks like

This is available on Amazon and for Kindle. We're listed on GoodReads as #1117 from the Minnesota Alliance for Orphans.

Even though all of our kids are home now, every day brings a new adventure. Something different. One of the many things I have learned on this journey, is, that there is always some new and different around the corner. Like Grandma's story in the movie Parenthood.

"You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."

One of the things I want to pass on to my kids is the same thing my dad always told me, when you come to a fork in the road, pick it up!

C'mon, who leaves a fork in the road!

 

Bell's First Thanksgiving

To our daughter, Isabella Marie, on the occasion of her FIRST Thanksgiving...

 

 

Dear Bells,

Happy FIRST Thanksgiving, Princess! I'm so glad now our family is complete and we are all celebrating your FIRST Thanksgiving home!

You're a pretty special young lady, from a very long and illustrious line of special ladies.

Your Grandma Doris is pretty cool. She helped Grandpa Eric make me into your dad. It was important to them that I know how to make the right choices, no matter how hard or painful it was. They both wanted me to work hard. When I was younger, Grandma took an interest in my handwriting. It was just as bad as both your brothers', Ethan's and Justin's. She told me that if I wanted her to read what I had written, I needed to work on my penmanship and make my writing clearer for her to read. Penmanship's a snap. Making the writing clearer to read has been the real job.

I can't say I blame you or your brothers for not liking to read. You're not the only ones. Grandma used to sit me by her sewing machine on sunny days to read.

Strange Companion, by Dayton O. Hyde was the first book Grandma had me read. I read other stuff, too. Grandma encouraged me to read. She even bought me my first comic books!

 

 

 

When I was a boy, comic books were sometimes sold in threes wrapped in plastic. Mostly they were sold off of a newsstand, with the magazines and books. Today, there are stores that only sell comic books, along with trade paperbacks, trading cards and games.

 

So, you're Grandma got me started reading and collecting comic books!

 

 

You probably already know this, but your Aunt Paula is pretty cool. I guess you could say she showed me that I could do anything, even fly. When I was much, much smaller - and lighter, too - she used to put me up on her feet and I would pretend I was flying. Yeah, she actually was like the wind beneath my wings!

 

 

Let me tell you, it was a pretty cool feeling!

 

She's a pretty cool mom, too. And a pretty proud grandma!

 

Now, your Mom? Well, she's a regular VIP. She's tough and she's a survivor. She got that from her mother, your Grandma Priscilla. It's a shame you never got to meet her. She was no-nonsense just like both your great-grandmothers, who just both happened to be named Ruth. I'm sorry that you are Ruth-less. My Grandma Ruth always told me that the first hundred years are the hardest. She lived to be 101. I guess she knew what she was talking about.

 

 

I am so excited that our adventure has shifted from bringing you and your brothers home, to the adventure we can all experience together!

 

 

Sweetheart, tomorrow is the biggest adventure ever! Whatever happens, you can always hold Mom's hand and mine and we'll all get through it - together.

 

Happy FIRST Thanksgiving, Princess!

Love always,

Popi

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

Dear Justin, On The Occasion of Your Third Anniversary Home

 

Dear Justin,

I remember Freshman orientation for high school. We were all packed into the bleachers in the gym. There must have been a hundred of us. We got introduced to the Principal, the Counselors, and the Teachers. Blah, blah, blah. I didn't like school very much. I wanted to be anywhere but Orientation. I'm sure that somewhere, there was a comic book calling my name. I needed to race home, and check the red phone. Somebody there said, "Make the most of your four years here, because before you know it, it'll be over." I snickered. Yeah, right. High school is gonna drag on like Orientation.  The next day, I was wearing a cap and gown at graduation. As I accepted my diploma, I remembered those words.

The only real lesson I learned from high school is to make the most of every minute. You might think that's Carpe Diem. "Seize the day". I think it's not only seize the day - or jump at the opportunity - but "be in the moment." Savor every second. Now, I'm not a very patient person, but I look at this as settle in and get comfortable. That might have come in handy had I learned that lesson while I was still in high school. I wasn't sure what your Mom and I were getting into when we agreed to spend a week together. But I knew I wanted to meet you. I knew I wanted to know what would happen next.

 

I've never been a fan of roller coasters. Probably because of my experience on The Demon at Six Flags. The summer The Demon opened, my buddy Derrick and I went on it. We were standing in line alongside the ride as they pulled a woman off and set her in a wheelchair and rolled her away. She looked pale and dizzy. My buddy Derrick said the color drained out of my face and I stopped talking completely until after we got off the ride. He said I turned white as a sheet.

 



Buddy-boy, you have been the greatest roller coaster ride in the history of roller coaster rides. I don't mind getting whipped around in all the twists and turns, the ups and downs. Okay, so I tend to scream like a little girl a lot - but, you, my "little buddy", are keeping me on my toes. You, your brother Ethan, and your sister Bella. As bumpy and rocky as the valleys are the hills are pretty thrilling and exciting. Probably a better way to describe them is...breathtaking.

You are incredibly challenging. I know that you feel the same sense of accomplishment that Mom and I do at rising and meeting the challenge. You have come so far - and not just geographically - and accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. Mom and I are so proud of you. It is so great meeting your teachers and listening to them say the same things about you. They are just as glad to have you around, just as glad that you are part of their world as we are.

There are a lot of people that think you're pretty cool.

I don't want you to get a swelled head - you do pretty good on your own, without Mom's and my help - or any of your teachers' help, either. I just don't want a minute to go by without you, or Ethan or Bells knowing how much we love you.

The boy who came to stay

Happy anniversary!

Popi   

   

  

 

Notes From Our "Happily Ever After"

 

 



Dave sez,

 

...And they all lived happily ever after.

 

THE END

THE BEGINNING!

 



So, here's what I'm wondering, what do YOU consider a special occasion? In no particular order, here's what I consider special occasions: my birthday; Father's Day; definitely Cathy's and my anniversary, her birthday and Mother's Day; family and friends' birthdays and anniversaries - at least the ones that Facebook is kind enough to remind me of; and, Christmas and Easter. Probably right up there with Cathy's special days are the special days with the kids~

Monday, January 3rd, the day that we first met Justin.

August 10th, Justin's birthday.

Friday, September 23rd, the day we first met Ethan.

 

His birthday is September 8th.

 

 

Sunday, October 23rd, the day Justin came home for good.

December 29th, 2011, the day we picked Ethan up from the airport for his three week visit. He was with us through Martin Luther King Day.

 

 

October 29th, was when we headed back to bring Ethan home.

 

November 16th was his Court Date.

 

December 7th, he finally came home for good.

 

 

But not before he introduced us to our daughter, Bells.

 

November 18th, was when we knew that Bells had picked us to be her parents and didn't want to be anyone else's daughter.

Her birthday is April 12th.

April 30th was her Court Date.

Friday, May 30th was when she finally came home for good.

We've been enjoying our "Happily Ever After". It's been pretty challenging for the boys to adjust to having a sister. Justin is pretty rugged. And modest. And shy. He and Ethan have been pretty confused that Bella would not want to try to keep up with them. She's not really into sports; so, basketball, soccer, baseball and football this summer have been out of the question. The trampoline has been the big deal. Justin will not take no for an answer when it comes to the trampoline. It helps that Bella enjoys "Popi-corn" just as much as both boys. (If you're not familiar with "Popi-corn", that is where all three kids sit Indian-style - with their legs crossed, holding their toes - and Popi - that would be me - jumps on the trampoline until they let go of their toes, uncross their legs and flop around like fish on the trampoline.

I'm not rocket-brain surgeon, but from what I have seen and experienced with the kids, I'm convinced that they have learned things, certain habits, that help them deal with and cope with the unique experiences they have gone through. Justin has learned to be aggressive and assertive. A take-charge, Alpha. He's the protector and defender. He's curious and wants to know everything. Knowing is a certain sense of control and security. Ethan tries so hard to be likeable. He's always smiling always laughing, always trying to be funny. Cathy or I will ask Justin or Bella a question and we'll hear Ethan answer it. He starts a lot of sentences with, "I think" and then tells us what he thinks Justin or Bells likes or thinks. The challenge we're finding for Ethan is to carve out a singular, individual identity. Justin likes soccer and gymnastics. Ethan likes wrestling.

Bells is still adjusting to being home and part of a family. Like the boys, she's finding that she has a Mom and Dad. There are rules and expectations. There are consequences. Bad habits are easy when you are one of a dozen or more, like in a classroom. But, when you are part of a family, and it's more one-on-one, bad habits tend to stick out more. Cathy and I are pretty familiar with each one of our kids' personalities and we're learning more and more how to handle bad habits and behaviors. I remember most of the things that were going through my head when I was their age. Most kids have an elaborate Rube Goldberg plan that they are always working on; a series of steps from where they are to where they want to be and what they want to have or achieve. It's like those Tom & Jerry or Road Runner cartoons, where Tom or Wile E. Coyote come up with this elaborate scheme. The ultimate goal is to develop the perfect mouse trap; or capture the Road Runner for dinner. What I've found is that it keeps me on my toes, so that it turns into more of a Mad magazine Spy vs. Spy game. Unfortunately, I've never been very good at chess, so it's a challenge to block each one of their moves. It's better to point them in the right direction and show patience and understanding. Most of those elaborate devices evaporate when it becomes clear that there's an easier, more direct path from Point A to Point B. I've been asking Ethan what he wants. When he tells me, I tell him what he has to do, or the effort he has to give to achieve it. "What do you want, and what are you willing to give for it?" We all want something. Nothing comes without effort.

 

Justin had been going to karate, but needed a little time to adjust to regular seventh grade classes. It was a challenge for him going from a single classroom to running from classroom to classroom for seven different classes. Now that he's gotten a better handle on that he is taking gymnastics. Bells, Ethan and I have been going and watching him.

He's been awesome to watch. We're hoping to get Ethan and Bells into something like that. They both have to improve just a little on their English skills to be ready for sports and activities. Listening to the instructors and coaches and being able to communicate is an important skill. That starts at home. It's a work in progress.

So, that's what's been going on in our little "Happily Ever After".

 

THE BEGINNING

Never Let You Go

Dave sez, To our son Justin, on the occasion of his 13th birthday, Sunday, August 10th, 2014.

Dear Justin,

 

Happy birthday!

Here are some words I would like to pass along to you by writer Rudyard Kipling~

If—

By Rudyard Kipling (1865–1936)       

 

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

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Source: A Choice of Kipling's Verse (1943)

 

War!

Dave sez, If you're the least bit squeamish, I'll understand.

The legendary John Wayne as "The Shootist"

 

Cathy and I like John Wayne movies. It's one of the few things we have in common. Ha. I like The Marx Brothers, The Three Stooges and Adam West as Batman. I like Gilligan's Island and Get Smart. She likes romances. Jane Austen, Nora Roberts, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, The Lifetime Movie Channel and Hallmark romances. We do agree on Friends - although she jumped onboard the bandwagon a little late on that one - and John Wayne. She likes McClintock!, Donovan's Reef, Hellfighters and The Quiet Man. I like The Shootist and Big Jake. We'll watch marathons of that same movie he made three times - Rio Bravo; with Dean Martin and Rick Nelson; El Dorado with Robert Mitchum and Angie Dickinson; and Rio Lobo. Only John Wayne could make the same movie three different times! We have our favorites, but we could sit and watch and watch any John Wayne movie.

Justin introduced us to Hindi films. Each one three hours long and all with several musical numbers. Each of the Bollywood films we've watched together have a moral, value or principle to them. I've shared the story before that while Justin and I were in Kiev, he found the film Mohabbatein on television and watched the entire film and sang along with the songs. I'd say that's pretty mature and heavy stuff for a ten-year-old; but, I remember some of the movies I liked growing up, not all of them were Disney animated films.

Honorable number two son, Ethan, has shown an interest in WWE and "fight" films. The interest came from playing WWE video games. When he came back to the apartment from the orphanage, the first movie he found to watch was Mel Gibson's The Passion of The Christ. Set aside how you feel about Mel Gibson for a second, a film about The Savior's crucifixion is pretty intense for adults, let alone a twelve-year-old. But he sat through the entire thing.

One thing we have noticed is that Ethan seems a little de-sensitized. He doesn't grasp the separation between real and fictional pain.

We chuckle when Justin sees an actor as the character he plays. I did the same thing growing up. Robert Conrad was James West. William Shatner was Captain Kirk. Bob Denver was Gilligan.

Both boys watch movies or television programs and ask if it is "real". Movies tell stories, and some of them are based on real life. Titanic, Apollo 13, The Ten Commandments; those things actually happened...just not the way Hollywood may have imagined.

We're trying to pass along an empathy to Ethan. Pain and suffering is something to sympathize with, not laugh at and find humorous. When someone gets hurt or killed in a movie, that's not the comic relief.

Over the last couple of months, with everything going on in Ukraine, he's asked to watch War movies. Every one has a different opinion of War movies. Even the War movies themselves have different opinions of War. There are people that believe in the glory and necessity of war. There are those that see a futility in war. We had to fight for our independence as a country. Then we turned right around and fought to make this country ours. The debate that Cathy and I are having is what War films are age appropriate. Ethan and his school friends are playing video games that are pretty graphic.

He's been pretty frustrated while we try to decide.

During summer vacation we all take turns picking a movie to watch after dinner. He keeps asking for a War film.

U-571

The other night we sat down and watched U-571. Justin is not interested in War films; Bella spends most of the movie covering her eyes. But we have an agreement. We all watch the movie, no matter what it is to show courtesy and respect to the person that picked it, whether we like it or not. We've had a couple of instances of "I'm not gonna watch that!" I point out our agreement. We watch whatever movie is picked, whether we like it or not; otherwise there's no point to having the choice. Choice includes compromise. I sit through a lot of Jane Austen and Nora Roberts just to get to the explosions in a Stallone or Schwarzenegger movie.

A few weeks ago, for Independence Day, we watched Mel Gibson's The Patriot. 

I'm going to Google and Netflix and trying to put together a list I'm comfortable with of War films. I enjoy watching Patton. I'm not sure Ethan's ready for Black Hawk Down or Saving Private Ryan. Maybe another one to throw on there might be The Pianist; and maybe The Great Escape. I doubt that anyone is ready yet for M*A*S*H, Apocalypse Now or The Deer Hunter. Each one of the kids has trouble sleeping from bad dreams that have nothing to do with War movies. They're worried about monsters under the bed, zombies, vampires and sharknados. Watching Twister did nothing to help Ethan with his dread of tornados. That's all we heard about last summer; questions about whether or not we would have a tornado.

I look at Ethan and War movies like his first beer. I'd rather he have his first beer at home. I've told him the same thing I've told his brother; that when he gets old enough, we'll all go out as a family for his first drink. I want all three of them to develop good habits in a family environment, rather than feeling they have to do what they want apart from the rest of us. Cathy and I watch action films together. There's not that much difference between Patton and, say, Terminator or Predator.

Hopefully, giving him an opportunity to watch War films in a safe and non-threatening family environment will help with his fascination. Watching U-571, he asked who the good guys and the bad guys were. We talked about Hitler and his "master race". There's a kind of gunfighter theme, whether it's a John Wayne movie, Tombstone, Unforgiven, Gladiator, 300 or Patton. It all boils down to standing up against the bad guy and his gang or army. Whether it's a land baron and a range war; a rich man trying to get his brother out of jail; or a madman trying to take over the world and remake it in his own image. It's a battle between good and evil. The same conflict in any Harry Potter movie.

Hopefully, he'll learn some history and how important it is to stand up for what's right.

I'm thinking that along with watching Patton, we should watch The Alamo. I'm trying to remember what films are set against the Civil War...     

             

Our Happily Ever After

Dave sez, So, here we all are. Ten years later, enjoying our happily ever after.

Eleven years ago, Cathy and I moved to Rochester from Columbus, and she decided that I'd put her off long enough. After thirteen years, she wanted to settle down and have a family. Just being a couple wasn't enough any more. Looking into a fertility program, Cathy was diagnosed with cancer. That was ten years ago this month. While she was in recovery from surgery, she wanted to look at adoption programs. It took a while, but Justin found us. He found us through a friend, who saw a status on Facebook that was a New Year's resolution: "I want to be a dad in 2011." I had a week of vacation that first week of January 2011. It was his last week of a three week hosting program. I picked him up on Monday. By Wednesday, he told Cathy and me that he loved us. It was in the drive through at McDonald's. Talk about your Happy Meal! Nine months later, on October 23rd, 2011, he came home for good.

The hardest part of that trip was being away from home.

Dave with Milo and Max

Cathy loves dogs. We've had bassets over the years. We had two in Columbus. An eight-year-old that we rescued, named Mopsie. She was a part of our family until her health went downhill. Cathy and I said goodbye to her together. We found a family that had basset puppies. We got one and named her Millie. We took her to the vet to be spayed. She didn't make it through the surgery. We found a breeder in Bowden, Georgia. That's where we found Milo. He was five months old. He was all by himself. I think it was 2002 that we brought him home. As he got older his temperament changed. He startled easily and became more defensive. We had to be careful when Justin visited. We hoped they would get along.

Along with Milo, we found Max from a family in Kasson. We rescued another basset we named Kirby. Kirby was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After Kirby passed, we added Maize to the family. She was a puppy.

The Friday before Justin and I came home, Cathy had to take Milo to the vet. He had a mass around his heart. There was nothing anyone could do. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Milo. He and I were close. It was hard not being there for him and for Cathy. It was hard not seeing him when we came home. But, Cathy and I were starting a new family.

Bells, Justin & Ethan

We brought Justin home in October 2011. Ethan came home in December of 2012. Wednesday, July 30th marked two months since Bella came home.

Two months!

In mid-May, while Bella and I were still in Kiev, I got a message from my sister that our mom had gone into the emergency room. It started out that she was having trouble standing and walking. It was a blood clot in one of her legs. In the emergency room, it was discovered that she had fluid around her heart and in her lungs. Before they could save her leg, they had to save her life. They managed to do both, and she spent a few weeks in rehab working to get her strength back in her leg. It's not easy being so far away from home when something like that happens. The good news is that the kids will have a chance to have their grandmother around a little longer.

Right now we're at the ten year mark. It's been ten years since Cathy was diagnosed with cancer. Ten years since we started our adoption journey.

Now that all of our kids are home, our journey has changed.

The adventure is not bringing them home any more. The adventure is what we do together as a family. How we adjust. How the kids adjust to having a father and a mother. How they adjust to having rules and boundaries. How they adjust to being part of a family. How they adjust to having chores and responsibilities. How they adjust to being accountable for things they do and say. How they adjust to being brothers and sister. How we adjust to being parents and having two sons and a daughter.

We have reached the end of one journey, and the beginning of another.

Happily Ever After isn't a destination. It's a journey, too. One careful step at a time.

This is the picture that started it all. Justin, January 2011