Dave sez,
So, today was another day. Completely
different from yesterday. Maybe you're feeling the same way for one
reason or another. Yesterday, there was rain in the morning on our way
to see Shani. Today has been sunny and clear, but cooler and windier. We
caught the Number Eighteen bus up the street from the apartment to
Independence Square and the subway station. The bus had no conductor,
but a lady driver who exchanged fares for bus passes. There was a little
slide tray for the fare. Away went the fare and in return came the
passes. The driver is in an enclosed compartment from the passengers. We
made the complete ride to the Square. I was kidding Cathy that
apparently it takes a lady driver not to have an accident in the rain. I
have no idea if the driver yesterday was man or woman, but the
difference today from yesterday was noticeable. Most of the bus drivers
we've seen on the 507 bus from Holosiivska station have been men.
Yesterday,
we were able to "mall walk" our way through the closed underground
shopping mall below Independence Square, but not today. I would imagine
that the mall opens at nine in the morning and we were passing through
at about eight. Young Gandalf, the security guard, said in Ukrainian,
You shall not pass. That is not intended as s slur, more as a point of
reference. On our ride around to the Square, we pass the police and fire
station. We must have passed right after roll call, because all of the
officers were rolling out onto their beat. We saw them walk across from
the station house passed the Hyatt and the apartment we stayed in last
year. We've seen a lot of police officers while here on our journey.
Mostly on the weekends when there are families out and about; on the
street, on the subway platform and waiting to get on the bus. It doesn't
matter where, the hardest working people we know where blue; police,
fire or security. The only people that we've seen work harder, work in
public transportation.
We Skype with Justin three times
a week. Last night was one of those nights. Eight hours ahead, his
seven o'clock is our
oh-dark-what-were-thinking-we're-going-to-be-so-dead-in-the-morning-when-we-HAVE-to-get-up-ay-yi-yi!
It is a credit to twenty-some-odd years of marriage that we can keep
the irritability to a minimum. If you've been married as long as we
have, you know that means Cathy tells me to shut the **** up and not
bother her until she's had a chance to wake up - and, I do it. That's
why God invented the iPod. Of all the things that I have on mine, from
Country to cool movie soundtracks, what I'm listening to is actually
Justin's favorite albums by Big Time Rush. Nothing else works for me
right now, not even Brad Paisley, Little Big Town or The Band Perry.
I've actually tried listening to my collection of Bond songs and only
Paul McCartney and Wings, Shirley Bassey and Tina Turner are the least
bit tolerable. Every thing else is like fingernails on a chalk board.
I'm not sure why. Our gracious host recorded an album, but I'm not sure
our machines are set up to download them to our iPods. I think we're a
different zone. We've seen a video that is pretty awesome!
Today
was another day working with Shani on his English. But, today, I
decided to change it up and have him start with some basic sentences, to
incorporate the basic words he's learning, like his new name; who
Cathy, Justin and I are and what we are becoming. The sentence that he
finds most challenging is: "All four of us are a family." But he is
writing his words out three times each, so the repetition is helping
him. Hopefully in a couple of days he'll have those sentences down.
Right
now, we're just counting down the days until we are all together again.
Today puts us one day closer than we were yesterday. Which is why I
didn't mind the cold or the wind as long as there was both the sun and
our son.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
The One With All The Latest
Dave sez,
Happy Adoption Month!
We are Cathy and Dave; and this is our ongoing adventure with our son Justin and the journey of bringing our second son Ethan home...
Hopefully you are enjoying the humor and the lighter side of our adventures...
Did I mention that we do a lot of walking here? Cathy and I have been looking forward to the walking...forced exercise...as if Justin weren't enough of a work-out, we've decided to expand our defense to man-on-man; and start our day with some vigorous exercise. It's a good hike to the subway, and the walk is highlighted by the weather. a couple days we've had rain. Like today. But we are near enough to a bus stop, where we can catch the Number Eighteen Trolley Bus to Independence Square, where we catch the subway to another connecting bus ride out to the orphanage. It was pouring this morning, so we decided to do just that. The bus ride is $1.50, local currency. We've hesitated in riding, because there is not always a bus conductor to take the fare and issue a bus pass. This is a different bus entirely from the one we catch off the subway to the orphanage. On THAT bus, the fare is $2.50, local currency, $5 for two, and every passenger is responsible for paying the driver the fare. You can either pay the driver - by placing your fare on the engine hump, front and center of the bus - or, by passing it forward. If you need change that will be passed back to you - count on it. We were fortunate that the bus we got on this morning had a lady conductor, taking fares and handing out passes, as well as the driver. We'd forgotten since our last trip here what the fare was. I handed the lady a dollar bill, Cathy handed her a two dollar bill and she took our bus passes. We found a seat.
A couple blocks from where we got on the bus came to an abrupt stop with a loud crashing sound. The doors opened and every one got off and started walking. What Cathy and I saw was a red compact car stopped in front of the bus, with the back window shattered. The back fender may have been bent. The front fender of the bus was warped slightly from the impact.
None of us passengers felt the shock of the impact, which is a good thing. Except for the loud noise, I would have thought we had stopped at a red light, or to take on passengers. The other passengers didn't seem the least bit fazed. The doors opened, they all exited and made their way by foot. It was morning rush hour, after all.
We've seen a couple of accidents - fender-blenders, the big "how-do!" - there was a two-car accident at the top of the cloverleaf, at the middle point of our ride out to the orphanage; and a truck (semi) versus car collision as we got closer into the neighborhood. Truck 1, car 0.
We're getting to know Shani's personality. He is a bright and happy boy. He is a very typical kid. We spend our time with him working on his English. So far we've gone easy on him. We give him a page of words to write three times and then we spend our time playing Uno, or war or we let him play Angry Birds. Today, we expanded his English writing. Every few minutes he would sigh, "Oh my gosh!" and then, "Come on Shani!" When he finishes it's always with a "Shani good?" Yes, Shani good!
We brought a few movies over to watch during our stay. The last trip we brought the Karate Kid remake with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith. Justin wore the DVD out, we had to get another copy, he enjoyed it so much. I "forgot" to bring that movie. I wish I had brought it. I think Shani would have worn it out, too. I think I'm actually glad I forgot it. I've seen it so many times, I could probably recite it. He'll probably watch it enough when we get home to make up for not watching it on this trip. I did bring a few other movies I thought he would like just as much. This trip is going to seem much longer than it is if he doesn't.
It isn't going to be hard to keep him as active as Justin. With all the rain we've had, the playground is a soggy, muddy mess, but we did find a dry spot to play some "enclosed" soccer. There is a shelter on one side of the playground opposite the front door to the orphanage. We played one-on-one soccer for about a half-hour. The only way I can keep up with either of my boys is to cheat every opportunity I get; so there were a lot of potential penalties for holding and carrying, as I scooped Shani up in a bear hug, while I kicked three goals in a row. He would have the ball headed to my side, when I would spin him around, scoop him up again and kick another three goals in a row on his side. Justin would have been livid, and screaming "Penalty! Penalty! Penalty!" But Shani just giggled and squealed until he couldn't breathe any more.
Honorable Number One Son is very competitive; and I appreciate that. He's already figured out that it's not that hard to beat Popi. Honorable Number Two Son, Shani is learning how to "cahoot"...as in, he is learning the BEST place to be is in cahoots with Mom playing Uno to beat Popi. Of course Mom is "cahooting" like there is no tomorrow! I have a feeling when we get home, I'm going to be ganged up on!
Looks like it's going to be a pile up on Dad!
Happy Adoption Month!
We are Cathy and Dave; and this is our ongoing adventure with our son Justin and the journey of bringing our second son Ethan home...
Hopefully you are enjoying the humor and the lighter side of our adventures...
Did I mention that we do a lot of walking here? Cathy and I have been looking forward to the walking...forced exercise...as if Justin weren't enough of a work-out, we've decided to expand our defense to man-on-man; and start our day with some vigorous exercise. It's a good hike to the subway, and the walk is highlighted by the weather. a couple days we've had rain. Like today. But we are near enough to a bus stop, where we can catch the Number Eighteen Trolley Bus to Independence Square, where we catch the subway to another connecting bus ride out to the orphanage. It was pouring this morning, so we decided to do just that. The bus ride is $1.50, local currency. We've hesitated in riding, because there is not always a bus conductor to take the fare and issue a bus pass. This is a different bus entirely from the one we catch off the subway to the orphanage. On THAT bus, the fare is $2.50, local currency, $5 for two, and every passenger is responsible for paying the driver the fare. You can either pay the driver - by placing your fare on the engine hump, front and center of the bus - or, by passing it forward. If you need change that will be passed back to you - count on it. We were fortunate that the bus we got on this morning had a lady conductor, taking fares and handing out passes, as well as the driver. We'd forgotten since our last trip here what the fare was. I handed the lady a dollar bill, Cathy handed her a two dollar bill and she took our bus passes. We found a seat.
A couple blocks from where we got on the bus came to an abrupt stop with a loud crashing sound. The doors opened and every one got off and started walking. What Cathy and I saw was a red compact car stopped in front of the bus, with the back window shattered. The back fender may have been bent. The front fender of the bus was warped slightly from the impact.
None of us passengers felt the shock of the impact, which is a good thing. Except for the loud noise, I would have thought we had stopped at a red light, or to take on passengers. The other passengers didn't seem the least bit fazed. The doors opened, they all exited and made their way by foot. It was morning rush hour, after all.
We've seen a couple of accidents - fender-blenders, the big "how-do!" - there was a two-car accident at the top of the cloverleaf, at the middle point of our ride out to the orphanage; and a truck (semi) versus car collision as we got closer into the neighborhood. Truck 1, car 0.
We're getting to know Shani's personality. He is a bright and happy boy. He is a very typical kid. We spend our time with him working on his English. So far we've gone easy on him. We give him a page of words to write three times and then we spend our time playing Uno, or war or we let him play Angry Birds. Today, we expanded his English writing. Every few minutes he would sigh, "Oh my gosh!" and then, "Come on Shani!" When he finishes it's always with a "Shani good?" Yes, Shani good!
We brought a few movies over to watch during our stay. The last trip we brought the Karate Kid remake with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith. Justin wore the DVD out, we had to get another copy, he enjoyed it so much. I "forgot" to bring that movie. I wish I had brought it. I think Shani would have worn it out, too. I think I'm actually glad I forgot it. I've seen it so many times, I could probably recite it. He'll probably watch it enough when we get home to make up for not watching it on this trip. I did bring a few other movies I thought he would like just as much. This trip is going to seem much longer than it is if he doesn't.
It isn't going to be hard to keep him as active as Justin. With all the rain we've had, the playground is a soggy, muddy mess, but we did find a dry spot to play some "enclosed" soccer. There is a shelter on one side of the playground opposite the front door to the orphanage. We played one-on-one soccer for about a half-hour. The only way I can keep up with either of my boys is to cheat every opportunity I get; so there were a lot of potential penalties for holding and carrying, as I scooped Shani up in a bear hug, while I kicked three goals in a row. He would have the ball headed to my side, when I would spin him around, scoop him up again and kick another three goals in a row on his side. Justin would have been livid, and screaming "Penalty! Penalty! Penalty!" But Shani just giggled and squealed until he couldn't breathe any more.
Honorable Number One Son is very competitive; and I appreciate that. He's already figured out that it's not that hard to beat Popi. Honorable Number Two Son, Shani is learning how to "cahoot"...as in, he is learning the BEST place to be is in cahoots with Mom playing Uno to beat Popi. Of course Mom is "cahooting" like there is no tomorrow! I have a feeling when we get home, I'm going to be ganged up on!
Looks like it's going to be a pile up on Dad!
Friday, November 2, 2012
The One That's Not Really About Any ONE Thing...
Dave sez,
Friday. The end of the five day work week. We'll be entering our second full week on Monday. What is weighing heavily on my mind is Thanksgiving.
Something else that comes to mind is Genesis 11: 1 (NLT) "At one time all the people of the world spoke the same language and used the same words."
It funny how very little talking goes on when Skyping with Justin. You know what Skype is: it is basically video-phone. He makes faces at us, we - and when I say "we" I mean "me" - make faces at him. And neither he or Cathy and I want to hang up. So, we make faces and point and act silly with each other for a half an hour.
We found out why the bus changed its route. The road that is the normal route is under construction. Not that I am paranoid or anything, but I am starting to see orange in my sleep! It is exasperating enough to try to figure out how to get across Rochester through construction, and now it is here too. Oh, and apparently Mother Nature can't make up her mind here either; it rained Monday and Tuesday, was kinda cloudy on Wednesday, really nice yesterday, then back to rain with a cold wind today. I bet there were saints somehow involved in that...
We just realized today that Shani is not just one of the last of the children we got to know last year; he is one of the few boys here anymore. The boys are seriously becoming outnumbered by girls. Shani referred to one of the girls as his sister. Something tells me this journey will not end with just two. Cathy and I have no desire to become "Jon And Kate Plus Eight" - a family with an outrageously large number of children - we do want to provide what is in our children's best interest. We're trying to navigate what Justin needs, what Ethan needs, what they both need, and what Cathy and I need both individually and as a couple. It's nice to think about what happens next. It is important to plan a head and look at the larger picture. I think right now, both boys need our time and attention. Cathy and I will probably be talking about this from time to time over the next few months as we watch our boys' progress. It is interesting to see how he interacts with the other children here.
A rainy day like today was nice to spend quiet time with him working on his English and spelling and watch him play "Angry Birds", bowl and drive a race car. I kept looking out at the empty playground and the soccer field, where Justin, Sasha, Andre, Ruslan, Vlad and Kolia all played last fall. Ethan played with them, too. They're all home now. Ethan will be home soon. I keep telling myself that these are his last few weeks here. The quiet is a big difference this time. Justin has a lot of energy. He was - and is - very active. I may have mentioned this before but as active as Ethan is, he does have his quiet moments. Both boys have a laser focus, where they can shut out the rest of the world when they are concentrating on something. It was nice to see Ethan keep trying until he figured things out, both with his English and spelling and the games.
We are still praying that our court date comes up sometime during the week of November 12th through the 16th.
Don't forget we fall back - in the states - this weekend and get and extra hour of sleep. That's a refund on that hour we lost in the Spring. Don't forget to set all the clocks back, you don't want to go into a time warp walking from room to room in the house.
...So George Lucas REALLY sold Lucasfilm (Star Wars) to Disney? Well, Lucas is a lot like Walt Disney. Both innovative and inventors. Disney's Song of the South will never be seen on DVD or Blu-Ray because it is so politically incorrect, and unless Disney reverses Lucas' passionate hatred for the Star Wars Holiday Special - which was surprisingly a lot like an episode of The Muppet Show! - that will never be seen, except for on YouTube. Carrie Fisher and Natalie Portman can now be considered Disney Princesses. Expect straight-to-DVD films on those concepts. If I remember right, the adoption theme is so heavy in Star Wars, because Lucas himself adopted, and "wrote what he knew".
I remember my brother Tim taking me to see Star Wars when it first came out. We saw it at the theater at the River Oaks shopping mall. I think that was back when a theater was a single theater, and not yet a googleplex. You might wonder why it was my brother, Tim, who took me to the movie, and not my dad or mom. As a dad myself, I am learning that presence is the most important thing.
Watching Ethan play video games today, I can not wait to take both him and Justin to the arcade at the theater back home. If Justin becomes absolutely "twitterpated" by the games, Ethan will need an oxygen mask!
I wonder what great things I will see my boys accomplish...
I wonder how much proof-reading and editing Cathy will do in the morning when she wakes up and reads this - it is 11:49pm here...
Friday. The end of the five day work week. We'll be entering our second full week on Monday. What is weighing heavily on my mind is Thanksgiving.
Something else that comes to mind is Genesis 11: 1 (NLT) "At one time all the people of the world spoke the same language and used the same words."
It funny how very little talking goes on when Skyping with Justin. You know what Skype is: it is basically video-phone. He makes faces at us, we - and when I say "we" I mean "me" - make faces at him. And neither he or Cathy and I want to hang up. So, we make faces and point and act silly with each other for a half an hour.
We found out why the bus changed its route. The road that is the normal route is under construction. Not that I am paranoid or anything, but I am starting to see orange in my sleep! It is exasperating enough to try to figure out how to get across Rochester through construction, and now it is here too. Oh, and apparently Mother Nature can't make up her mind here either; it rained Monday and Tuesday, was kinda cloudy on Wednesday, really nice yesterday, then back to rain with a cold wind today. I bet there were saints somehow involved in that...
We just realized today that Shani is not just one of the last of the children we got to know last year; he is one of the few boys here anymore. The boys are seriously becoming outnumbered by girls. Shani referred to one of the girls as his sister. Something tells me this journey will not end with just two. Cathy and I have no desire to become "Jon And Kate Plus Eight" - a family with an outrageously large number of children - we do want to provide what is in our children's best interest. We're trying to navigate what Justin needs, what Ethan needs, what they both need, and what Cathy and I need both individually and as a couple. It's nice to think about what happens next. It is important to plan a head and look at the larger picture. I think right now, both boys need our time and attention. Cathy and I will probably be talking about this from time to time over the next few months as we watch our boys' progress. It is interesting to see how he interacts with the other children here.
A rainy day like today was nice to spend quiet time with him working on his English and spelling and watch him play "Angry Birds", bowl and drive a race car. I kept looking out at the empty playground and the soccer field, where Justin, Sasha, Andre, Ruslan, Vlad and Kolia all played last fall. Ethan played with them, too. They're all home now. Ethan will be home soon. I keep telling myself that these are his last few weeks here. The quiet is a big difference this time. Justin has a lot of energy. He was - and is - very active. I may have mentioned this before but as active as Ethan is, he does have his quiet moments. Both boys have a laser focus, where they can shut out the rest of the world when they are concentrating on something. It was nice to see Ethan keep trying until he figured things out, both with his English and spelling and the games.
We are still praying that our court date comes up sometime during the week of November 12th through the 16th.
Don't forget we fall back - in the states - this weekend and get and extra hour of sleep. That's a refund on that hour we lost in the Spring. Don't forget to set all the clocks back, you don't want to go into a time warp walking from room to room in the house.
...So George Lucas REALLY sold Lucasfilm (Star Wars) to Disney? Well, Lucas is a lot like Walt Disney. Both innovative and inventors. Disney's Song of the South will never be seen on DVD or Blu-Ray because it is so politically incorrect, and unless Disney reverses Lucas' passionate hatred for the Star Wars Holiday Special - which was surprisingly a lot like an episode of The Muppet Show! - that will never be seen, except for on YouTube. Carrie Fisher and Natalie Portman can now be considered Disney Princesses. Expect straight-to-DVD films on those concepts. If I remember right, the adoption theme is so heavy in Star Wars, because Lucas himself adopted, and "wrote what he knew".
I remember my brother Tim taking me to see Star Wars when it first came out. We saw it at the theater at the River Oaks shopping mall. I think that was back when a theater was a single theater, and not yet a googleplex. You might wonder why it was my brother, Tim, who took me to the movie, and not my dad or mom. As a dad myself, I am learning that presence is the most important thing.
Watching Ethan play video games today, I can not wait to take both him and Justin to the arcade at the theater back home. If Justin becomes absolutely "twitterpated" by the games, Ethan will need an oxygen mask!
I wonder what great things I will see my boys accomplish...
I wonder how much proof-reading and editing Cathy will do in the morning when she wakes up and reads this - it is 11:49pm here...
The One That's Full Of Anecdotes...
Dave sez,
Cathy and I have been noticing things that are different about this trip. Some things change, some things are the same...
The SDA is in the same place. Our appointment there was pretty much what we expected, pretty similar to last year. Where we are staying is a little farther away; but, not by much and not in any bad way. We've been looking forward to walking Kiev again. Tuesday we walked from the apartment to the SDA for our referral documents, getting familiar with the neighborhood we're in now, seeing the same street vendors that were out when we were here last. At the SDA office we met a couple from Florida that were picking up their documents and then heading down to Crimea to adopt a sibling couple near the end of their orphanage time. There was another couple with them adopting a sibling group of four. Didn't catch where they were from. There was maybe another couple after us, we got our paperwork and were on our way.
Our driver and our facilitator picked us up Wednesday for the trip to the notary. Traffic is always an enjoyable spectator sport. It is almost like every cliched scene you've ever seen in a movie, including Dustin Hoffman's classic street-crossing - "I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin'!" That may be a slight exaggeration, but only a little. Cathy and I laughed just a little when our facilitator said rather casually of another driver that cut across us, "Ooh la la, you're nuts." Other families that have shared our same experiences might appreciate that. (Note from Cathy: I like that phrase so much it just may one that I start using)
I am still impressed by how old fashioned and old school this process is. Although every thing is done by computer and printer; our facilitator makes copies, and rather than staple the copies, he sews each one of the five packets of copies. I think there were three or four pages in each packet that he sewed very briskly in three places and tied the thread off.
After the notary we were on our way out to the orphanage to see Shani again after ten months.
What is different a year later at the orphanage, is, that not only are almost all of the older children gone to new homes and families, but the behavior of the children is different now, too. Last year, every day at four in the afternoon, we lost Justin and most of the kids to Avatar: The Last Airbender. A little bit to Spongebob, too. But Avatar was "it". There was no talking, no moving, no breathing during Avatar. Snacks were at four-thirty, then free time until the music lesson, then dinner.
Yesterday, the television was not on at all. Halloween is a uniquely American custom. Children do not dress up and go trick-or-treating door to door here. So, while Justin was getting, "Many, many candy!" We were getting better acquainted with his brother and teaching him English.
We had a little surprise yesterday, when we left and got on the bus back to the apartment. The bus route had changed! We used to make our way through a number of street vendors in kiosks along the road back to the subway station. Now, we hit the highway on the opposite side away from the kiosks and mall on our way back. It was a little unnerving to be headed in the opposite direction, before heading the way we needed to go...
What doesn't change is that each and every one of these children desperately want to be wanted. There are still the same number of children. New children have come here to take the place of the ones that found forever families. I feel like I am wearing Velcro. It is hard to ignore a child; but I am here for my child, and I see my child's slight frustration over having to share me with the other children in the room. This isn't any one's fault. I don't blame or fault any one - especially the little ones themselves. These are children that want to be wanted, they are desperate and hungry for attention. Cathy and I are the new toys in the room. These boys and girls want to play, they want someone to listen, they want someone to be there. Just like there is nothing better than relaxing with Honorable Number One Son in the back yard on his birthday trampoline.
Right now we are just waiting on our court date. Then ten days after that, we can start the process of bringing Shani home as Ethan. If our timetable is accurate, I should be home with Honorable Number Two Son by mid-December. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year, since it is all about spending time with family. But what a Christmas gift we have this year: as we celebrate the coming of our Savior, we add a new number to our family. The even number, "four"
Over the last few days, I've been telling Cathy why I think we are the Fantastic Four. She thinks I'm pretty good at embellishing and stretching the truth, by telling me that's not something to brag about :) ...Honorable Number One Son is our little hothead; he's impulsive...Honorable Number Two Son is our heart of gold; our diamond in the rough...Honorable Mother...well, now she is the most powerful one of our little group. She makes all of OUR problems (wait for it) invisible, just like any mother...
I can't wait to see all of our "Incredibles" together.
There's more to come, but right now we have tea, with apples and watermelon slices courtesy of our hosts. How awesome is that?!!
Cathy and I have been noticing things that are different about this trip. Some things change, some things are the same...
The SDA is in the same place. Our appointment there was pretty much what we expected, pretty similar to last year. Where we are staying is a little farther away; but, not by much and not in any bad way. We've been looking forward to walking Kiev again. Tuesday we walked from the apartment to the SDA for our referral documents, getting familiar with the neighborhood we're in now, seeing the same street vendors that were out when we were here last. At the SDA office we met a couple from Florida that were picking up their documents and then heading down to Crimea to adopt a sibling couple near the end of their orphanage time. There was another couple with them adopting a sibling group of four. Didn't catch where they were from. There was maybe another couple after us, we got our paperwork and were on our way.
Our driver and our facilitator picked us up Wednesday for the trip to the notary. Traffic is always an enjoyable spectator sport. It is almost like every cliched scene you've ever seen in a movie, including Dustin Hoffman's classic street-crossing - "I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin'!" That may be a slight exaggeration, but only a little. Cathy and I laughed just a little when our facilitator said rather casually of another driver that cut across us, "Ooh la la, you're nuts." Other families that have shared our same experiences might appreciate that. (Note from Cathy: I like that phrase so much it just may one that I start using)
I am still impressed by how old fashioned and old school this process is. Although every thing is done by computer and printer; our facilitator makes copies, and rather than staple the copies, he sews each one of the five packets of copies. I think there were three or four pages in each packet that he sewed very briskly in three places and tied the thread off.
After the notary we were on our way out to the orphanage to see Shani again after ten months.
What is different a year later at the orphanage, is, that not only are almost all of the older children gone to new homes and families, but the behavior of the children is different now, too. Last year, every day at four in the afternoon, we lost Justin and most of the kids to Avatar: The Last Airbender. A little bit to Spongebob, too. But Avatar was "it". There was no talking, no moving, no breathing during Avatar. Snacks were at four-thirty, then free time until the music lesson, then dinner.
Yesterday, the television was not on at all. Halloween is a uniquely American custom. Children do not dress up and go trick-or-treating door to door here. So, while Justin was getting, "Many, many candy!" We were getting better acquainted with his brother and teaching him English.
We had a little surprise yesterday, when we left and got on the bus back to the apartment. The bus route had changed! We used to make our way through a number of street vendors in kiosks along the road back to the subway station. Now, we hit the highway on the opposite side away from the kiosks and mall on our way back. It was a little unnerving to be headed in the opposite direction, before heading the way we needed to go...
What doesn't change is that each and every one of these children desperately want to be wanted. There are still the same number of children. New children have come here to take the place of the ones that found forever families. I feel like I am wearing Velcro. It is hard to ignore a child; but I am here for my child, and I see my child's slight frustration over having to share me with the other children in the room. This isn't any one's fault. I don't blame or fault any one - especially the little ones themselves. These are children that want to be wanted, they are desperate and hungry for attention. Cathy and I are the new toys in the room. These boys and girls want to play, they want someone to listen, they want someone to be there. Just like there is nothing better than relaxing with Honorable Number One Son in the back yard on his birthday trampoline.
Right now we are just waiting on our court date. Then ten days after that, we can start the process of bringing Shani home as Ethan. If our timetable is accurate, I should be home with Honorable Number Two Son by mid-December. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year, since it is all about spending time with family. But what a Christmas gift we have this year: as we celebrate the coming of our Savior, we add a new number to our family. The even number, "four"
Over the last few days, I've been telling Cathy why I think we are the Fantastic Four. She thinks I'm pretty good at embellishing and stretching the truth, by telling me that's not something to brag about :) ...Honorable Number One Son is our little hothead; he's impulsive...Honorable Number Two Son is our heart of gold; our diamond in the rough...Honorable Mother...well, now she is the most powerful one of our little group. She makes all of OUR problems (wait for it) invisible, just like any mother...
I can't wait to see all of our "Incredibles" together.
There's more to come, but right now we have tea, with apples and watermelon slices courtesy of our hosts. How awesome is that?!!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
The One About What's Going On...
Dave sez,
"...And, we're BACK!"
We've had a few technical challenges the first few days here. We used WiFi at MSP, where were charging stations without USING the charging stations; in Dulles and Munich, there weren't any charging stations...wait for it...then when we finally got settled in, the adapter that we brought from home...well let's just say it didn't. Adapt. ;)
Between Dulles and Munich, our layovers added up to an eight hour day. We both tried to nap when we could on the plane, rather than sleep when we got here. That's doesn't really help adjust to the time difference.
Believe it or not we are in the future. We are eight hours ahead of home. Don't forget this weekend we fall back one hour as Daylight Saving Time ends Saturday night. I have a clock that keeps time for here in Kiev and for at home. Plus we haven't adjusted the time on our electronics yet...
We have a very gracious host that has very generously let us stay while we are here bringing Shani home as Ethan. Where we are staying is not too far from where we were last year, but a little closer to the US Embassy. We are close to two very nice grocery stores, which comes in very handy.
Monday was our appointment at the SDA. This was our first request to adopt a male child in Ukraine named Shani.
Tuesday we went back to the SDA for the referral on Shani, this is permission to visit him at the orphanage while we file paperwork, and wait for the court date to get the court's permission to adopt him, legally change his name and bring him home.
Today, we filed our request, and were able to see him for the first time since we hosted him last December. The excitement that greeted us was incredible. He missed us almost as much as we missed him.
But what a difference it has been over the last year! Nearly all of the children that we met on last year's visit are no gone - either to good homes and loving families in the states or here in Ukraine. Shani could very well be the last man standing, so to speak as far as the children we met and got to know last year.
It is so different to be here when it is colder, and more rainy - with the prospect of snow on the way - and only TWO boys on the soccer field. One of them Shani, in his last five and a half weeks here, and another boy. The other boy a little older and taller than when we last saw him. All of the other soccer players are now in the states.
We've pretty much figured out our challenges with Honorable Number Two Son. We will start working on his English and reading skills more over the next few weeks.
Where Justin is more athletic, it appears that Ethan (nee Shani) is more creative. He likes to sing. We will have to see where this creative streak runs. He is different, and so are his talents, from Justin. It would be easy to paint them with the same brush and say they will be two peas in a pod; I don't know that they will even be two sides of the same coin. I wonder if they will be the same kind of currency. Justin has been quite the star. It should be interesting to see this new light shine.
Tonight at dinner, I looked at my Team Georgiy bracelet. I have not taken it off since I got it in the Spring of 2011. Ethan was looking at it and my blue wristband that says, "Adoption Is An Act Of God" and "Never Give Up". He asked if one was for Justin and if one was for him. We've done things differently to bring Shani home than we did for Justin. I realized it was time to take off my Team Georgiy band. There might not be any thing to replace it. I still wear the other one, though.
It will be a new adventure to see what we learn from Ethan, and from the boys as a pair.
Our court date is due sometime around nineteen days after the SDA appointment we had on Monday. Cathy's math places that sometime around November 16th. We have come this far on the strength and power of prayer.
Thank you very much for taking the time to get to know us, and follow our adventures with Justin and this exciting new journey to bring Ethan (nee Shani) home. Cathy will tell you her life has been changed by these boys. I know I'm different than I used to be. Hopefully for the better.
We're Cathy and Dave, and this is our adoption journey.
"...And, we're BACK!"
We've had a few technical challenges the first few days here. We used WiFi at MSP, where were charging stations without USING the charging stations; in Dulles and Munich, there weren't any charging stations...wait for it...then when we finally got settled in, the adapter that we brought from home...well let's just say it didn't. Adapt. ;)
Between Dulles and Munich, our layovers added up to an eight hour day. We both tried to nap when we could on the plane, rather than sleep when we got here. That's doesn't really help adjust to the time difference.
Believe it or not we are in the future. We are eight hours ahead of home. Don't forget this weekend we fall back one hour as Daylight Saving Time ends Saturday night. I have a clock that keeps time for here in Kiev and for at home. Plus we haven't adjusted the time on our electronics yet...
We have a very gracious host that has very generously let us stay while we are here bringing Shani home as Ethan. Where we are staying is not too far from where we were last year, but a little closer to the US Embassy. We are close to two very nice grocery stores, which comes in very handy.
Monday was our appointment at the SDA. This was our first request to adopt a male child in Ukraine named Shani.
Tuesday we went back to the SDA for the referral on Shani, this is permission to visit him at the orphanage while we file paperwork, and wait for the court date to get the court's permission to adopt him, legally change his name and bring him home.
Today, we filed our request, and were able to see him for the first time since we hosted him last December. The excitement that greeted us was incredible. He missed us almost as much as we missed him.
But what a difference it has been over the last year! Nearly all of the children that we met on last year's visit are no gone - either to good homes and loving families in the states or here in Ukraine. Shani could very well be the last man standing, so to speak as far as the children we met and got to know last year.
It is so different to be here when it is colder, and more rainy - with the prospect of snow on the way - and only TWO boys on the soccer field. One of them Shani, in his last five and a half weeks here, and another boy. The other boy a little older and taller than when we last saw him. All of the other soccer players are now in the states.
We've pretty much figured out our challenges with Honorable Number Two Son. We will start working on his English and reading skills more over the next few weeks.
Where Justin is more athletic, it appears that Ethan (nee Shani) is more creative. He likes to sing. We will have to see where this creative streak runs. He is different, and so are his talents, from Justin. It would be easy to paint them with the same brush and say they will be two peas in a pod; I don't know that they will even be two sides of the same coin. I wonder if they will be the same kind of currency. Justin has been quite the star. It should be interesting to see this new light shine.
Tonight at dinner, I looked at my Team Georgiy bracelet. I have not taken it off since I got it in the Spring of 2011. Ethan was looking at it and my blue wristband that says, "Adoption Is An Act Of God" and "Never Give Up". He asked if one was for Justin and if one was for him. We've done things differently to bring Shani home than we did for Justin. I realized it was time to take off my Team Georgiy band. There might not be any thing to replace it. I still wear the other one, though.
It will be a new adventure to see what we learn from Ethan, and from the boys as a pair.
Our court date is due sometime around nineteen days after the SDA appointment we had on Monday. Cathy's math places that sometime around November 16th. We have come this far on the strength and power of prayer.
Thank you very much for taking the time to get to know us, and follow our adventures with Justin and this exciting new journey to bring Ethan (nee Shani) home. Cathy will tell you her life has been changed by these boys. I know I'm different than I used to be. Hopefully for the better.
We're Cathy and Dave, and this is our adoption journey.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
A Little Bonding Time...
Dave sez,
Hi! We're Cathy and Dave. Thanks for taking the time to get to know us a little better on our adventure with our first son, Justin, and the journey we will be starting on to bring our second son, Ethan (nee Shani), home over the next few weeks. We're not sure when our invitation to travel to Kiev will come, but we do know that there will always be more to be Thankful for in November and more reason to celebrate the coming of our Savior as we start a new year.
A funny thing happened on the way to school this morning.
Justin doesn't like riding the bus to school. The bus to the newcomers program is a longer ride than the one the other kids have. This year's program is a little farther still than last year's program. Justin, Cathy and I will be so excited when he starts "normal" middle school at his regular school. It'll be closer. He'll have his choice of riding the bus, walking, negotiating for the keys to the car...But for now, I drop him off at school in the morning. Some mornings I have time to drop Cathy off at work.
So, we had a good laugh over what happened when I dropped Justin off at school. I was laughing so hard I was crying.
I have to get on the highway to get across town to drop Justin off. At the light to turn to go down the on ramp, there was a dead skunk in the middle of the road. The other side of the road. Oncoming cars had to go around or straddle it. With the windows rolled up and the air on, we could still smell it.
I thought - here's my opportunity! I can be "Dad" and educate my son. So, I say, "Look, buddy! - There's a dead skunk. Ya smell that? When a skunk feels that a bad animal or a bad person is around, they spray that stink to make them go away." I was pretty proud of myself, I tried to use language he would understand; not make it too complicated, get the basic idea across and inform and educate my son. I thought I was pretty cool.
Here's what I got back
"Augh! That smell! It's EVERY where! I smell it every WHERE! It's on me! Is it on my clothes? It's on my clothes! It's ALL OVER me! Will it EVER go away? When will it go away? If I'm smelling like skunk, then I CAN'T go to karate! How many bath am I gonna have to take to get rid of that smell? Many bath? How many days? Will it be on me forever?"
At this point, Cathy is howling, tears streaming down her face as I am repeating this story to her, in my son's voice. If you've seen Adam Sandler in Click with Kate Beckinsale and David Hasslehoff, you might have an idea why we were laughing so hard. There's a scene, that's pretty raunchy, where Sandler gets mad at his boss, pauses his life and climbs up on his boss' desk. What he does next is pretty crude and raunchy. He presses play on the remote for his life and his boss' reaction is the real punchline.
Justin kept on asking how long he was going to be stuck with the stink until we got off the highway, near where I work, and started heading toward school.
"I'm gonna smell like this forever! How do I get this smell off me?"
Not long, I told him, pretty soon he would forget all about it. Then, I told him that it might be kinda cool to tell the other kids in class that he saw a dead skunk in the road on the way to school.
He could even ask the kids sitting next to him if they smelled skunk on him.
I'm expecting a call from the school any minute...
Hi! We're Cathy and Dave. Thanks for taking the time to get to know us a little better on our adventure with our first son, Justin, and the journey we will be starting on to bring our second son, Ethan (nee Shani), home over the next few weeks. We're not sure when our invitation to travel to Kiev will come, but we do know that there will always be more to be Thankful for in November and more reason to celebrate the coming of our Savior as we start a new year.
A funny thing happened on the way to school this morning.
Justin doesn't like riding the bus to school. The bus to the newcomers program is a longer ride than the one the other kids have. This year's program is a little farther still than last year's program. Justin, Cathy and I will be so excited when he starts "normal" middle school at his regular school. It'll be closer. He'll have his choice of riding the bus, walking, negotiating for the keys to the car...But for now, I drop him off at school in the morning. Some mornings I have time to drop Cathy off at work.
So, we had a good laugh over what happened when I dropped Justin off at school. I was laughing so hard I was crying.
I have to get on the highway to get across town to drop Justin off. At the light to turn to go down the on ramp, there was a dead skunk in the middle of the road. The other side of the road. Oncoming cars had to go around or straddle it. With the windows rolled up and the air on, we could still smell it.
I thought - here's my opportunity! I can be "Dad" and educate my son. So, I say, "Look, buddy! - There's a dead skunk. Ya smell that? When a skunk feels that a bad animal or a bad person is around, they spray that stink to make them go away." I was pretty proud of myself, I tried to use language he would understand; not make it too complicated, get the basic idea across and inform and educate my son. I thought I was pretty cool.
Here's what I got back
"Augh! That smell! It's EVERY where! I smell it every WHERE! It's on me! Is it on my clothes? It's on my clothes! It's ALL OVER me! Will it EVER go away? When will it go away? If I'm smelling like skunk, then I CAN'T go to karate! How many bath am I gonna have to take to get rid of that smell? Many bath? How many days? Will it be on me forever?"
At this point, Cathy is howling, tears streaming down her face as I am repeating this story to her, in my son's voice. If you've seen Adam Sandler in Click with Kate Beckinsale and David Hasslehoff, you might have an idea why we were laughing so hard. There's a scene, that's pretty raunchy, where Sandler gets mad at his boss, pauses his life and climbs up on his boss' desk. What he does next is pretty crude and raunchy. He presses play on the remote for his life and his boss' reaction is the real punchline.
Justin kept on asking how long he was going to be stuck with the stink until we got off the highway, near where I work, and started heading toward school.
"I'm gonna smell like this forever! How do I get this smell off me?"
Not long, I told him, pretty soon he would forget all about it. Then, I told him that it might be kinda cool to tell the other kids in class that he saw a dead skunk in the road on the way to school.
He could even ask the kids sitting next to him if they smelled skunk on him.
I'm expecting a call from the school any minute...
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Ch-ch-ch-changes
Dave sez,
Hi! We're Cathy and Dave - and now Justin - and soon Ethan (nee Shani)! Thanks so much for taking the time to get to know us and become more aware of the "blended family" through adoption. Since we started our journey we've seen that EVERY one is touched in some way through adoption. We hope that our adventure touches you.
A year ago, Cathy and I had finally gotten our invitation to travel to Kiev for an appointment at the SDA. It was there that we would be formally introduced to our son and ask to spend time with him and get to know him better and then select him and bring him home permanently. Except for a number of pictures, that we are still grateful for getting by e-mail from other families adopting at the orphanage, we hadn't seen him since January.
We called him every Sunday morning before church. We struggled with Google Translate. We agonized over every "baka" (goodbye). It felt like we were slitting our wrists every time we severed the phone connection over nineteen hours from our living room to the orphanage hallway where the phone hung on the wall.
There were six weeks that we didn't get to talk to him because he was on a summer trip to The Black Sea in Crimea in the south of Ukraine.
Our flight was on September 11th for a September 12th appointment.
Cathy and I stood up individually and told the judge that we could not live without this boy. He nearly fell off the courtroom bench and exploded on the floor when she and I expressed how much we wanted him.
Yesterday was his FIRST day of Sixth Grade Newcomers. His third first day of school. He is excited about Math, one of his favorite subjects. He's excited about P. E.
As he fell asleep last night, he told me how frustrated he was that he wasn't learning faster. He wanted to pick things up in class (finger snap), just like that.
In the car this morning, after he said, "Let's roll, Kato!", he told me about a dream he had last night after he - finally! - fell asleep.
"I dreamed that when Shani comes home he knew English as good as I know now, yeah, Popi?"
It took me a second to get it. Yeah, I'm pretty slow. I started by telling him that nothing happens instantly, like (finger snap) that.
"But I dreamed that when Shani comes home with you, he'll know English how I know now, yeah, Popi?"
That's awesome, buddy. Both things you said.
I'm glad that he realizes now that four is better than three. He's going to have a lot more fun with a younger brother - who is taller than he is - than just by himself...with his Mom and Popi. Being an older brother comes with built-in responsibilities. But, now he seems up to the job.
Right now, we're trying to plan housing in Kiev. There's an English-speaking church we visited last year, we'll be visiting again this year. We've been in touch with them. One last thing on the to-do list to get ready to go.
We're still waiting for word on an invitation. Then, we roll.
I don't know anyone that has adopted again so soon after adopting a first time. I think our situation is unique. It's a shame that our boys have had to be separated for twelve months...but Cathy and Justin and I have needed time to adjust to one another. It's going to be interesting for Cathy and me to go man-on-man with both boys. I may need to take up karate myself!
It is amazing to see the changes in our world. How different life is now than it was. I know that Cathy and I had time before Justin...I just don't remember a whole lot of what it was like. Not that Cathy's boring, but it was only just the two of us. Now, it's a whole lot more!
Hi! We're Cathy and Dave - and now Justin - and soon Ethan (nee Shani)! Thanks so much for taking the time to get to know us and become more aware of the "blended family" through adoption. Since we started our journey we've seen that EVERY one is touched in some way through adoption. We hope that our adventure touches you.
A year ago, Cathy and I had finally gotten our invitation to travel to Kiev for an appointment at the SDA. It was there that we would be formally introduced to our son and ask to spend time with him and get to know him better and then select him and bring him home permanently. Except for a number of pictures, that we are still grateful for getting by e-mail from other families adopting at the orphanage, we hadn't seen him since January.
We called him every Sunday morning before church. We struggled with Google Translate. We agonized over every "baka" (goodbye). It felt like we were slitting our wrists every time we severed the phone connection over nineteen hours from our living room to the orphanage hallway where the phone hung on the wall.
There were six weeks that we didn't get to talk to him because he was on a summer trip to The Black Sea in Crimea in the south of Ukraine.
Our flight was on September 11th for a September 12th appointment.
Cathy and I stood up individually and told the judge that we could not live without this boy. He nearly fell off the courtroom bench and exploded on the floor when she and I expressed how much we wanted him.
Yesterday was his FIRST day of Sixth Grade Newcomers. His third first day of school. He is excited about Math, one of his favorite subjects. He's excited about P. E.
As he fell asleep last night, he told me how frustrated he was that he wasn't learning faster. He wanted to pick things up in class (finger snap), just like that.
In the car this morning, after he said, "Let's roll, Kato!", he told me about a dream he had last night after he - finally! - fell asleep.
"I dreamed that when Shani comes home he knew English as good as I know now, yeah, Popi?"
It took me a second to get it. Yeah, I'm pretty slow. I started by telling him that nothing happens instantly, like (finger snap) that.
"But I dreamed that when Shani comes home with you, he'll know English how I know now, yeah, Popi?"
That's awesome, buddy. Both things you said.
I'm glad that he realizes now that four is better than three. He's going to have a lot more fun with a younger brother - who is taller than he is - than just by himself...with his Mom and Popi. Being an older brother comes with built-in responsibilities. But, now he seems up to the job.
Right now, we're trying to plan housing in Kiev. There's an English-speaking church we visited last year, we'll be visiting again this year. We've been in touch with them. One last thing on the to-do list to get ready to go.
We're still waiting for word on an invitation. Then, we roll.
I don't know anyone that has adopted again so soon after adopting a first time. I think our situation is unique. It's a shame that our boys have had to be separated for twelve months...but Cathy and Justin and I have needed time to adjust to one another. It's going to be interesting for Cathy and me to go man-on-man with both boys. I may need to take up karate myself!
It is amazing to see the changes in our world. How different life is now than it was. I know that Cathy and I had time before Justin...I just don't remember a whole lot of what it was like. Not that Cathy's boring, but it was only just the two of us. Now, it's a whole lot more!
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