The Day Waited A Long Time For!

Dave sez, This is the day that Cathy and I have been waiting a long time for. Cathy has been waiting since mid-November 2012. I've been waiting since early December 2012. That was right around the time we both last saw Masha.

We are both very honored that our children have found us and that they each have chosen us. Justin found us toward the end of 2010, and I spent the first week of January with him. Cathy and I hosted him on his final week of a three week visit to the states from the Cradle of Children's Hope orphanage in Kiev, Ukraine. When we came to bring him home in the Fall of 2011, he introduced us to Ethan as, "This is Ethan, my brother!" Over the early Winter of 2012, when we came to bring Ethan home, he introduced us to Masha with the question, "Masha...sister?" We spent some time getting to know Masha before Ethan's court date. After Ethan's court date, we were pulled aside and told that Masha had picked us. She didn't want to be adopted by any one else. She wanted Cathy and I to be her parents. She had even picked her new name, Isabella.

The boys had been excited to come to America. Masha was anxious and desperate to come home. To a family.

Today was an early day. We had a nine-thirty appointment with Valentin and the social worker from Children Services. Together we were driven out to the orphanage. We brought our dossier and the referral we picked up yesterday afternoon. The social worker asked how we came to know Masha and how we were handling the language barrier. When we got there, Masha joined us in the Orphanage Director's office. The social worker told Masha to write out her letter of intent that we adopt her and become her parents. The social worker and the orphanage director both signed the letter. Masha was nervous and had to re-write the letter a second time. We were driven back to the Department of Child Services office and we said "Baka-baka" to the social worker. We will probably see her again on Masha's court date. We went with Valentin to the Notary. When we were done there, we headed back to the orphanage to visit with Masha.

She was not as nervous as she had been earlier. She ran and leapt at Cathy nearly bowling her over with how excited she was to see her new mother. It's nice to see Cathy experiencing what I have gotten to experience on the last two trips with the boys. Justin and Ethan leaned more toward me. We played soccer and wrestled and rough-housed. When they ran out of steam - which wasn't very often - they curled up with Mom. When they wanted candy, they went to Mom. When they wanted to play Uno, they came to both of us.

Masha is naturally leaning toward Cathy. I think that is awesometacular. I can't wait to see how this changes all of us.

 

Masha's birthday is coming up this Saturday. Cathy's birthday is next Wednesday.

 

We certainly do appreciate your prayers so far on our journey. We are grateful for the opportunity to share our journey, the ups and downs of how we came from there to here. It has been a long journey. Some days it has felt like an uphill hike. It's a good feeling to be able to see the top of the hill from where we are now.

 

"King of the world!"

 

 

     

  

The Comforts of Home

Dave sez, Today was another slow day. We didn't have any plans other than stopping by the SDA office between four and five this afternoon to pick up our referral for Masha. Pretty simple. When we were bringing the boys home there were at least a half dozen or so couples waiting right along with us. usually there is at least one couple that is picking up their referral and then jumping on a train for a sixteen hour trip to the orphanage where their new son or daughter is. Cathy and I have been very fortunate and spoiled. Our three children are from an orphanage here in Kiev. We get to stay in town, in a very nice apartment near the center of everything. Most everything we need or want is within walking distance, or we can get there by bus or Metro (subway). Some of the more important trips like the notary, court, doctor's visit and the US Embassy, we'll get a ride to. I feel for the folks that come from the states, and Kiev is just one leg of their journey. Because, their journey is going to be more complicated than ours. Court may be in the region where their child is, But they may have to come sixteen hours back to the Embassy.

 

Parliament

Our apartment is just a five minute walk uphill from the SDA office. At the top of the hill, there is a small park across from the police and fire department. There is a cathedral at either end of the long building that houses both forces. Our apartment is behind the Hyatt; which sits across from one corner of the precinct houses. There is another hotel on the other end. Next door is the Diplomat Academy, then Parliament and the other cathedral.

 

 

This is the parking lot outside the Diplomat Academy, Parliament and the cathedral. Across the street to the right out of the photo is the small playground and park. The flags seem to mark what looks like a barricade.

 

Past all this, behind Parliament, is a long stretch of what looks like, from the outside, offices and apartments. There is a courtyard and then another stretch of building that ends at St. Andrew's Cathedral. When we were here bringing Justin home, they were laying the sod in back of St. Andrew's. We spent a lot of time walking down past St. Andrew's to the grocery, the bazaar and Roshen's Chocolate store. On Monday after our first SDA appointment, we saw a mural on the walk down to the grocery.

 



  

Today, that mural was being touched up.

 

This morning, we decided to walk up a little farther to where we spent a lot of time when we were bringing Ethan home. We went to the Billa grocery there. The store is in the downstairs of a building that houses a pharmacy and a cosmetics store. It looks like there are some offices on the upstairs floors.

 

Today we went back to the SDA and got our referral for Masha. This is our permission to visit her while we wait for our court date. We will go see the same judge we saw bringing Justin and Ethan home. We will ask to for permission to adopt her; to be change her name and to be named as her parents on her birth certificate.

 

 

On our trips here to Kiev, we've seen Domino's, near the grocery. Today we decided to stop in. What we find here, is that Kiev is an international city. We say, "English?" and most every one will say, "A little". There are comforts from home, like Domino's, McDonald's, Pepsi, Coke, just to name-drop a few. The challenge I've found is the ten-days between the court appearance and the court decree. That's when I start thinking about home. There's plenty of downtime. Once we have the court decree, there's so much activity, getting Masha's birth certificate, her passport photo, her physical, her visa from the Embassy. All that activity, there's really no time to think about being homesick, or to miss the creature comforts from home.

 

 

Tomorrow, we see Masha for the first time since we brought Ethan home. With everything going on here, we have not been able to Skype with her since before the Olympics. It will be so good to see her again! 

 

Somewhere In Time...

Dave sez, Cathy and I are somewhere in time...

 

 

 

I like time travel stories. Cathy like romance stories. They came together in a unique concept when the late Christopher Reeve travelled back in time through self-hypnosis to the turn of the century and a renowned actress played by Jane Seymour; who was, in turn managed by a sinister Christopher Plummer. Reeve is set up this journey by an elderly woman who comes up to him after a performance and pleads, "Come back to me!" He discovers that she's an older version of Seymour and sets about his journey. His journey comes to a crashing end when he is showing off his suit to Seymour, and discovers a 1979 Lincoln penny in one of the pockets. The look of horror on both of their faces as they are tragically torn away from each other across the decades is priceless. If you follow the rules of the story, he basically just vanished into thin air. Through time.

 

 

Yeah, that's a long walk around the block for a punchline, but we are basically trying to adjust to being EIGHT HOURS AHEAD of Central Standard Time, where we are from. Right now it is dinner time, where it is almost lunch time back "home-home". There is home where we are staying here in Kiev; and, home-home where we are from. A very nice single bedroom apartment. The bedroom and living room are a combination. That's pretty typical. There are some apartments that have a bedroom separate from the living room. We have a "water closet" with a small wash machine. Across the hall is the shower and sink. We also have a foyer just inside the front door. We are Apartment 13 on floor 3 1/2. We are on the landing between the third and fourth floors. Igor made a joke when we first got here that we are on floor 3 and 3/4! We don't actually have a door, we just run at the wall to get into the apartment!

 

Adjusting is not easy, because, try as we might we're still in two time zones. We're still keeping up on how things are going back home from here. Our cell phones have local time, but I haven't changed the clock on my computer.

 

We're trying not to stay up to much passed midnight - that's not easy. We're trying to not sleep in to late. Right now our routine is pretty slow and laid back. We didn't have any plans this morning before our SDA appointment at noon with Igor and Valentin, so we just relaxed at the apartment. We're only a five minute walk away, so we left about a quarter after, and meandered over. Along the street toward the SDA office, there are street vendors selling paintings on the right side and over on the left are two rows of metal kiosks for more vendors. One could probably assemble either a complete military uniform - or Yuri Gagarin uniform - except for shoes from one of the kiosks. I've seen the winter hats and the gas masks, but I always seem to be a few hryvna short.

 

We met Valentin and Igor outside the SDA. Igor introduced us to Valentin. With our boys, we had been working with Victor. Now, we would be working with Valentin. he took us up to our appointment.

 

There is a part of me that wants to know everything. I'm curious. Since Ethan introduced us, I've been wondering how this wonderful young lady came to be where she is. I knew that today, I would find out. There is also a part of me that isn't interested and doesn't care. I have met my children. Each one of them has chosen me and Cathy to be their parents. I am blessed, fortunate and honored that they have made that choice. If they want me to know where they came from, if that is a part of our relationship and has anything to do with our future together, then they can tell me on their own. It's like when Neo was trying to explain to Morpheus what the Oracle said to him. Morpheus told him that what the Oracle said was for Neo and Neo alone to hear. The blonde lady with the SDA was an Oracle to Cathy and I. Valentin was our translator.

 

Now, tomorrow, we will go back to the SDA office and get our referral. That's our permission to visit Masha, will we count down to our court date. We will probably visit a notary on Wednesday morning and head out for our first visit with our little girl. This will be the first time we have seen or talked to her since before the Olympics. I think we last Skyped with her at the end of January.

 

Since we have no plans before our return at four tomorrow afternoon to the SDA office, we will probably walk around the city.

 

After our appointment today, we walked down the hill behind the SDA to a grocery store we frequented on our trip to bring Justin home. We hadn't been back there the whole time we were here bringing Ethan home. There was graffiti on buildings along the walk. One of the phrases that jumped out was, "Be Rich In Spirit".

 

Instead of walking back up the hill, and past the SDA back to the apartment, we made our way to the Metro subway station and rode back to Maidan, and Independence Square. Not much has changed since our last visit. Except the Pizza restaurant is closed. Maybe remodeling. We're not sure. The restaurant was dark.

 

The square is sectioned off by tire and brick barricade. Across from the Number 18 bus stop there is a pile of tires. We'll probably only use the same entrance in and out of the Metro, by McDonald's. We saw a few that looked blocked off by barricade.

 

Otherwise, it seems like things are back to normal. We see people walking around the barricades as if they are not there. As if maybe they have blended into the landscape. We've seen roadside memorials of portraits with candles. So, not everything has blended in and been forgotten. 

The Journey From There To Here

 

Do you hear the people sing?/Singing a song of angry men?/It is the music of a people/Who will not be slaves again!/When the beating of your heart/Echoes the beating of the drums/There is a life about to start/When tomorrow comes!

 

In some places there is nothing but graffiti. There is one word that comes out through all the tagging. "Revolution".

 

Dave sez, Our flight was really long. It wasn't too bad from Minneapolis-St. Paul to Chicago. We were both anxious about the trip. I had a pop tart for breakfast; as usual, Cathy skipped breakfast. Checking our bags in, we had to adjust the weight: one bag was under weight, one was over. We got through security, only losing a can of Barbasol shaving cream, shower gel and anti-bacterial soap. They looked over Cathy's insulin and we were on our way. Cathy's insulin would get checked again in Frankfurt. We got a bite at Burger King near our gate at MSP. We were looking forward to splitting a Chicago-style hotdog and an Italian beef at O'Hare, but we ended up running from one gate to another with just minutes to spare.

 

Chicago to Frankfurt Airport (Frankport, is one I saw there) is about seven and a half hours. It is a very long seven and a half hours. Especially when you have THAT kid, kicking and punch the back of your seat. I totally understand that some small children find flying - especially seven hours - to be a challenge. But this kid was torturing me. We were trying to doze as much as possible, rather than spend the entire flight from home to Kiev awake. Chicago to Frankfurt seemed like the best time. But not with THAT kid kicking my chair. I settled in watching about a half dozen episodes from Season Three of The Big Bang Theory. Cathy had found it under a tab called Box Sets and suggested it. She started The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, and immediately fell asleep. She wasn't sitting in front of THAT kid. After finishing my The Big Bang Theory six-pack, I started Frozen. I managed to watch "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" and "Let It Go" twice before we landed in Frankfurt.

 

      

     

 

 

Frankport is quite possibly one of the circles of hades. The gate that we arrived at was "Z" - maybe for "Ze plane". Bekause ve gott off ze plane. (apologies for the "snark"; my mother is German and Cathy's whole family is German; so it is not intentional. If you are German, I'm sorry. Not for offending you, but that you are German - Bazinga.) The gate for our flight from Frankfurt to Kiev-Barispol was gate B. In true sitcom fashion, we hustled with our carry-on luggage from Z to B. A winding, circuitous, labyrinthine maze through Frankport. I felt like Bugs Bunny trying tunneling and making a wrong turn at Albuquerque. We wound our way through Z as far as we could go. Then we caught a shuttle train to B terminal 1. Then we found the gate that was marked on our boarding pass. B-26. We didn't have seats together, so when I checked if we could adjust our seating assignment, the very nice ticket agent told me that our gate had been changed to B-56. Which was not only back the way we came but downstairs. I think we were actually closer to the Earth's core because it was much warmer than Gate B-26...and I think I saw several vertically challenged individuals mining for either diamonds or coal. They were whistling. (That's right, I have no problem insulting Germans, but I will not offend vertical challenged individuals.)

 

Our flight from Frankport to Kiev-Barispol boarded on a transport bus that drove another circuitous path winding around the outside of the airport. I thought we were heading for Berlin! Finally we made it to our plane, and had the choice of boarding from the front or back of the aircraft. Our seats were near the Emergency exit. The flight attendant was adamant that we put all of our stuff in the overhead bins - because we were sitting by the Emergency exit. Minimizing the potential for anything loose to fly out of the aircraft in the event said emergency. Which is something I really want to be reminded of while on our journey - the potential for unexpected emergency. Thank you, for making my flight that much more enjoyable. I know you have a difficult job, because you have to sometimes be the bad guy to people like me...

 

So any way, we made it to Kiev, were picked up by Igor, the orphanage director and the driver. He told me his name, but as hard as I was trying to remember it, I was trying to stay awake, and give both of them the impression that I was fine and in no way did I want to curl up into a ball and sleep for thirteen hours. Which is exactly how we spent our Sunday morning.

 

They drove us to our apartment. Amazingly enough, we are in the same neighborhood we've been in before, when we were bringing Justin home. We are behind the Hilton hotel. Our first apartment in Kiev was in a building next door to the Hilton. We are a block away from where our friends Mike and Andrea stayed, across the street from an Irish pub called O'Brien's. We are familiar with all the grocery stores in the neighborhood. We are a five minute walk from the SDA office where our appointment is Monday at noon.

 

Les Mis "The Barricade"

What we did see coming around Independence Square were the remains of barricades made of brick, tires and fence barriers that were used to block off construction. There are a lot of green wooden fences that usually surround construction sites. sections of those are now around the Square. The Square itself is sectioned off by barricades. In some places there is nothing but graffiti. We were walking around a bit this afternoon. We saw a building that looked like their Exchange building that had been burned out. Sections of the brick sidewalk had bricks pulled out for the barricades. The pizza restaurant down in the subway mall is closed. May be for remodeling. We'll see. Along the street where the Double Coffee restaurant is - a number of the families we know that, like us, have come to Kiev to adopt, know where the Double Coffee is - there is graffiti. The word that jumps out from all the tagging is the word, "Revolution".

 

 

The fashion statement here these days is camouflage. There is a lot of camouflage. We saw uniformed police the last two trips; there are still a lot of police visible. Maybe we're noticing them more. Maybe they are more visible and projecting a greater presence.

 

What tomorrow holds for us is that we will meet Igor and our facilitator a little before our SDA appointment. We go to the SDA to ask permission to adopt Masha. They will pull out her file and tell us her story and ask if this is the girl we would like to adopt. I guess we could have asked about her when we were here bringing Ethan home, or sometime over the last twelve or more months. But, Cathy and I knew this day was coming and we would hear all about her. Justin needed his time; so did Ethan. So, now, it is Masha's time. We will hear her story, ask permission to adopt her, and then on Tuesday at four in the afternoon, we will get the referral, the permission to go see her and spend time with her at the orphanage while we wait for our court date 20 days from tomorrow. Ethan was 19 days, which was an amazing blessing. We will see again the judge that we saw the last two times, bringing Justin and Ethan home.

 

It all starts tomorrow with The Story of Masha. Her name translates "Maria". So we will be hearing how Maria came to be at the Cradle of Children's Hope orphanage.

The One About Our Little Girl

Dave sez,

Hi! We are Cathy and Dave. When we were without hope, Justin found us. He introduced us to Ethan, telling us, This is Ethan, my brother! Ethan introduced us to Masha - who will be home soon as Isabella (Bella). He whispered to us, Masha...sister? This is our journey. Building a family through adoption.

We started our journey in an independent, open adoption program. The reality is that an independent adoption takes a while. We were one of fifty couple waiting to be match with a Birth Mom. A Birth Mom that would look at our profile in a binder of fifty and say, I want them to give my child the opportunities that I can not. The maximum waiting time in an independent adoption is anywhere between zero and four years. In any adoption program, we would be waiting for someone to reach a crisis in their life and look to us.

After a year or so of waiting, we shifted to an international adoption through China; and then Vietnam. Vietnam, like Russia, ended it's international adoption program with the United States. 

Next, we looked at our local County foster-to-adopt program. We could have stuck with this option. There is nothing wrong with this type of adoption program. We decided against it because it was mostly fostering children in crisis conditions. A family in crisis, where the children enter foster care until the family unit could be restored. Or, the child is placed for adoption. We had no desire to come between a child and his or her parents. We also did not want to be in the middle of a crisis. That's an individual choice. It's not an easy decision to make. But we focused on what we wanted. Cathy and I wanted children. At the time we wanted a newborn or an infant. 

We tried another program here in town. 

We had been trying to adopt for over six years, without success. I know I had lost hope. 

If the story of our journey is about anything it is about patience and faith. We didn't want to wait four years in one program to be matched with a Birth Mom. So...we waited nearly seven until the right boy came along and found us and restored both our hope and our faith. We knew that a child would be a blessing and a gift. We prayed. As we started to lose hope, we prayed more and harder. I yelled at the ceiling. What do you want from me? That's what I yelled. What do you want from me? Because I wondered if I was supposed to be a Dad. I'd spent a lot of time over the years wondering what I was supposed to be doing with my life. I asked our pastor that same question. What does God want from me? He smiled. He told me that God loved me and wanted me to have what I wanted. What do you want? the pastor asked me. I blinked. Wait. What? I thought I said that. I thought that's what I was asking and praying. 

Okay.

Let me be more clear. 

I want to be a Dad. I want You make me a Dad. 

I do not believe in coincidence. I do not believe that when I started to focus myself that way, that when I posted my desire on Facebook in December of 2010, that it just happened that Justin found us.

Just like now, as we wait for our invitation to travel to Kiev to bring Masha home, and we see the images and stories of Kiev, torn in half, burning and soaked in blood. 

I am afraid. Cathy is scared.

But our daughter is still there.

As scared as I am, I believe down to my toes that no matter what is going on - no matter what happens - God will see us through this journey.

What other choice do we have? Give in to our fear and doubt; or believe that some how, some way things will all work out and we will be a family of five. And if things work out, then how? How in the world will Cathy and I go from here to there and back again with our little girl through the fire and blood?

Believe me, there are much more important people on this planet. I'm not fool to believe that I am any one special. I don't believe that my challenges amount to a hill of beans. But as Leslie Nielsen said to Priscilla Presley, This is our hill! These are our beans!

We have to bring our daughter home to complete our family. We have to because her place is here. With the rest of us.

I'm praying that we have a safe journey. I hope you will join me in that prayer. For Masha's sake. Maybe some peace will come to Kiev, too.

 

  

The One About The MLK Day

The sentence read, "MLK was a good man."

Dave sez,

There were other sentences on Ethan's paper. "The Earth orbits the Sun", "January is the first month", "Sixteen oz equal one lb." and "How much do you weigh?" In the newcomers program, Justin and Ethan have had sentences that cover topics in class during that week. Sentences about different things they cover in class like the months of the year, the holidays, geography and astronomy. Of course there's always the wild card(s) - "Sixteen oz equal one lb." and "How much do you weigh?"

Now, I could hear that Ethan was having trouble. Like his brother, he has trouble with small, transitional words. The little words; "the" and "a". So, what they both would see and read aloud would be, "January is first month." My Grandma Sophie, from Norway, never lost her thick accent and pretty much talked the same way. So we fixed that first sentence. Instead of "January is first month." Ethan re-wrote it as "January is the first month." We worked on his pronunciation of "Jan-yoo-airy"; and then, "or-bit". I looked at "oz" and "lb" and he re-wrote that as "ounces" and "pound". We worked on rounding and softening his pronunciations, like "how" ("How now brown cow") and "How much do you weigh?"

And then, there was that sentence.

"MLK was a good man."

What's "MLK" Ethan?

MLK.

Yeah, but what is it?

I dunno.

Is "MLK" short for Martin Luther King, Ethan?

Yes.

Tell me about him, Ethan.

He vuhs a gut man. Ethan grinned. He giggled a little.

He was a "good man", huh? What made him a good man?

I dunno. Church?

Ethan, did Martin Luther King believe something very important? Like, say maybe President Abraham Lincoln, that all men are created equal?

Yeah.

This was such an opportunity.

I thought I would put in a way that Ethan and I could connect.

Ethan and I have some things in common. I am discovering that he is a comic book geek just like me! That's Christmas, Father's Day and my birthday! While he is not a Batman fan, he is a Green Lantern fan.

Green Lantern Alan Scott

Nope, not that one. That's the original, Golden-Age Green Lantern, Alan Scott. There is a legend that he may have been modeled on actor Alan Ladd. That may be just an urban myth, like Batman's supposed to be.

Green Lantern Hal Jordan

Nope, not him either. That's test pilot Hal Jordan. One of the greatest Green Lantern's ever. There's a legend that he is modeled after actor Paul Newman. He was played by Ryan Reynolds a few years ago in a film that could have been - and done - better.

Guy Gardner

Nope.

Kyle Rayner

Nope.

Green Lantern John Stewart

Ethan is a fan of John Stewart. Which is pretty cool, because so am I! I'm a fan of John Stewart

Not to be confused with Jon Stewart.

I gave Ethan a couple of my comics with John Stewart.

I pointed at Alan Scott and said, MLK - Martin Luther King, Jr. - believed that there was no difference between him - Alan Scott - and him - John Stewart. He believed that they would both be heroes.

There was a time when being a Dad seemed like a far-off dream. I've been living - and sometimes struggling with -  my dream for just a couple of years now. This is as new to me as it is to my boys. We're all in the newcomers program. Together.

Most importantly, I have a dream that my boys grow to become good men. That they stand on values and beliefs. That they stand on truth, honesty and hard work. I hope I can teach that example.



²⁶ So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, ²⁷ for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. ²⁸ There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. ²⁹ If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

~ Galatians 3: 26 - 29

On The Other Hand

Dave sez,

Hey there! Happy New Year! We are Cathy and Dave. This is the story of how we have gone from being a couple, to a family. Parents through adoption. It has been a long and winding journey. We are enjoying our adventure with our two boys, Ethan and Justin, and on the edge of our next journey to bring our daughter, Masha, home...

I am wrestling with a hesitation and an overwhelming eagerness to share this with you. Let me tell you some of the things I am telling myself: I am learning as a Dad that there are some things that are personal and private. Confidences, trust, girls, shortcomings and blemishes. As excited as I am to climb up on my roof and shout to the world, what my sons tell me is something I should put into a box in my heart and be glad they finally felt comfortable telling me. I'm only as good to them as the word and promise I give them. The trust that we have is what they will base all trust on. Their shortcomings and failings, like any one's is between them and their Creator.

At the same time, though, I see no reason why I shouldn't climb up on the roof and SHOUT what I am proud of. I consider myself blessed. Not lucky. I don't believe in coincidence. I think that's one of Gibb's rules. I like to celebrate days that end in "Y". I'm an optimist. I see greatness in my boys and I see that I'm the guy with the polish and the rag; or, the hammer and chisel - pick your favorite metaphor. I'm the guy who puts in the long hours, the hard work and the sweat that probably will only pay off generations from today. I think I'm entitled to climb up on the roof to celebrate the small victories today. He said, with a wink and a smile. The small milestones and victories today will add up to things my boys will look back on tomorrow. Justin has been asking, begging and pleading with me to come outside with him and Ethan and go sledding and have a snowball fight. "Please Popi! We did it when it was just you and me! We need to do it now with Ethan, too!" We go sledding. At the bottom of the hill, we roll around in the snow together and throw snowballs at each other. Later, when we come back in the house, Justin says, "Thank you for coming outside and playing with us." I look at him and smile. "Just be sure to tell my grand kids what a great guy I was, okay?" He rolls his eyes.

What I want to share with you is an English homework assignment that Justin and I worked on together. It hasn't been graded, or the grade hasn't been posted yet. I'm not sure of the etiquette of that. My gut is telling me a few conflicting things. I don't want to be that Dad. But I want to be that Dad. If you know my dad, you might have a picture of him. What I know about my Dad is he didn't talk much. He was a quiet guy. I know very little about his life growing up. Maybe I didn't show any interest or ask the right questions. Maybe I didn't meet him in the middle. He showed some interest in the things I liked. He came from that generation that just assumed love and affection was a given. When I got my first job in broadcasting, he introduced himself as my Dad and asked people what radio station they listened to, and, "Why don't you give the radio station my boy works on a listen?"

I tell my boys I love them every chance I get.

Justin's English class was reading Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. The assignment was to pick a character from the story and complete an activity as that character. Now, I get all English and reading. Cathy gets Math and numbers. We do "rock, paper, scissors" for everything else. Justin was trying to figure out which character to pick and which activity to complete. We looked over the list, and I tried to help with the decision. There was one character I felt would help him capture the heart of the story. Fred. I did a quick Google and Wikipedia search. I did not share this with Justin, I kept what I read there to myself. We spent some time talking about the story, and Fred. The activity for Fred, was to send his Uncle Ebenezer an invitation to Christmas dinner with a one-page letter encouraging him to accept and come. We sat down and started writing. I encouraged Justin to remember that this activity was for him to step into Fred's shoes and consider Scrooge his own uncle. We talked about how important family is. I think, considering the journey we all have been on together, this would be an important lesson. This would rise above any grade this assignment might get. That's why I feel so compelled to share our work.

Family.

Any errors and inaccuracies are our own, not the original material.

Here is the letter that my son and I wrote together:

Based on characters from Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol"

Created by Justin and Popi

December 17, 1843

My Dearest Uncle Ebenezer,

            Happy Christmas!

           

It is my greatest hope that this letter finds you well.

           

The reason I’m writing you, is to invite you to a Christmas dinner party. You will find enclosed, an invitation. We do hope that you will be able to join us.

           

I was very sad that you were not able to join us to celebrate at my wedding. Elizabeth is wonderful and I am hoping that you have the opportunity to find out, and get to know her better. She comes from a fine family and they all will be joining us. There is nothing better than family, Uncle, especially at Christmas-time! I do hope that you can join us for carols and songs around the piano, punch and holiday cheer!

            Elizabeth will be cooking turkey. Her father raises them plump and fat for the holidays. We will have dressing, and potatoes. Her mother will be sharing a family recipe for cranberry sauce. For dessert we will have cakes and fig pudding! It will be a fantastic feast that both Elizabeth and I do hope that you will join us for!

            I’ve missed you terribly, Uncle. I remember when I was a boy, that we were much closer. You were so good and kind to me after Father and Mother’s passing. I am forever grateful that you took me under your wing. I miss our talks. You had so many things you wanted to do and so many hopes for me. I’d like to share some of the good times I have had just this year with you in the hopes they make you proud. All we seem to have time for is a quick Hello, and Good ‘morrow, and the weight of debtors on your shoulders. I fear that you have lost all hope and sunshine. Hopefully, we can restore some of that light once again!

            I am writing you this letter so you can realize that family is very important! I don’t want you to spend Christmas by yourself. Christmas-time is not the time to be alone away from family.

Please consider joining us for Christmas dinner, Uncle. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring or how many Christmases we be able to share.

Elizabeth and I look forward to seeing you.

Yours affectionately,

Fred