The Road Ahead

Dave sez,

Cathy and I may have missed out on diapers and the "Terrible-Two's", but we are not missing a minute of the "Terrible-Teens". Don't get me wrong, our three kids are awesome. I don't mean to embarrass them in any way. I am so proud of every accomplishment. But we are all entering into that The Twilight Zone, that every child and every parent enters, where every second counts, and there are more teachable moments than there are not. Every choice, every fashion accessory, every lunchbox brings a new different lesson and consequences.

The road ahead is fraught with potholes and construction and gapers blocks. There is a sign-post ahead that reads...

...The Twilight Zone.

Justin is a great kid. He's shown that he's a survivor. No matter what, he has a very strong, basic survival instinct. I believe he'd last through the coming Zombie Apocalypse. I'd want him covering my back. He's very independent and has shown great leadership and mentoring qualities. Every time we talk, though, he tells me that he doesn't want to be a leader. That tells me he's ready to be one. He doesn't want to stand out. He wants to blend in and fit in. He wants to be cool and impress his friends. He wants to do the right thing, but still wants to impress his friends. Who hasn't wanted to do that, especially in high school! He wants to develop the high school super-power of camouflage. And he's telling me this, when I remember that my high school super-power was invisibility. I didn't want to be seen in high school.

Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.

What parent wants their son or daughter to be part of the pack - or the herd - or the masses? We all want to applaud the unique, singular achievements of our kids.

I am a man! I am not a NUMBER!

I don't want Justin - Ethan, or Bella - to be lost in a crowd.

I remember the crowd. The crowd was pretty safe. There's really no responsibility or accountability in the crowd.

As parents, we all know the downside to any crowd...

That's why we want them to stand out, right?

The other challenge that Cathy and I are facing as new parents of teenagers, is the growth of independence and questioning and challenging - - authority.

We hear a lot of "Why?"

I try to keep my answers pretty simple and basic. Y'know, even if you're not religious, you end up teaching your kids trust and faith. Trust in some things and some people bigger, better and smarter than they are. Even if you want them to believe in things like birthday presents, anniversaries and Christmas morning.

Sure, we could try to build independent, self-reliant adults that don't need anybody else. I don't know that I want my boys and my daughter growing up to be that. I'm not sure "trust in yourself, and no one else" is such a good motto to live by. I try to remind them every day of the uncanny miracle that brought each one of them to us. I don't believe in coincidence. There's no way that Cathy and I should be parents, let alone their parents.

    

I'd change that quote a little for Cathy and me as parents. Life moves pretty fast. It's important to keep our eyes open so we don't miss it. Kids change so quickly, from one minute to the next. Especially when every second counts.

Even though there are a lot of headaches, and heartaches, the reward is worth the challenge.



One Big Happy