Betty Cooper's Parents

Dave sez, You've probably heard, read or have seen The Debate. It goes like this, "You're stranded on a desert island, who do you choose, Mary Ann or Ginger?" It boils down to this, do you choose the girl next door, or the glamour girl? High Maintenance or Low Maintenance? The Debate can also be expressed as "Do you choose Betty or Veronica"?

As we are spending time with our daughter Masha, Cathy and I are learning about her. I am also learning a lot about myself. I am glad that I picked my Mary Ann/Betty. We're about thirteen days away from our 24th Anniversary. We're going to be celebrating it a little differently this year. My soul mate is not the most "glamorous" figure. But, to me, she is a Proverbs 31 Woman. I love her because she is sweet and kind and think of others before herself. The hardest thing we've gone through was when I held her hand after her surgery and she told me that as soon as she came home from the hospital, she wanted to look into adoption.

Now, I sit beside her on a bench in the music room at the Cradle of Children's Hope orphanage outside of Kiev, Ukraine and I watch as she braids her daughter's hair with nervous hands. Masha is sitting on the floor, quietly. Patiently. Trustingly.

"I need more practice," Cathy whispers to me.

You'll get it, I think to myself.

Masha, I am finding, is just the kind of daughter we were looking for. She's pretty plain and un-glamorous. There is no woman or girl that is Low Maintenance. Only guys are Low Maintenance. Fer instance, Cathy is an awesome cook. She can make anything, and surprise me with it, I will eat it and ask for seconds. I don't even have to know what it is. That, is my definition of Low Maintenance; easy and simple to satisfy. High Maintenance, on the other hand, is any kind of effort to satisfy. I don't mind that I consider Cathy to be High Maintenance, or that she compels me to give my best efforts for her. We've done this journey to Kiev three times. I ask for the same breakfast my first Saturday/Sunday home: biscuits and gravy. She makes the greatest biscuits and gravy in THE universe. Justin's first weekend home, I asked for biscuits and gravy. Justin didn't say, I don't like this. He said, This is terrible! We didn't have biscuits and gravy for almost a year, Cathy was so dismayed by that. Folks told us that we should have had biscuits and gravy every week, until it caught on. We had biscuits and gravy when Ethan came home; and I am looking forward to biscuits and gravy Masha's first weekend home as Bells. Justin is still a little High Maintenance. So is Ethan, but for different reasons.

I think Masha will adjust pretty well when we get home. I expect that we will have some bumps along the way, just like Ethan and Justin. What we are finding is that our children have developed a sense of independence that they have not been ready to give up on in exchange for trust.

I see a bond of trust developing between Masha and her new mother. I see a girl that wants a relationship with a mother.

I also see that my Twi-hard daughter is gonna to compel me to take up huntin'...

 

I'm just kidding. I'm sure she'll find her "Archie".

I'm sure this is a bit idealistic, but I can dream, can't I?