The First Fifty

Dave sez,

I'm not having any trouble turning 50. "The big Five-O" ("Book 'em Danno!") I think that's maybe because a lot of people tell me that I don't act look my age.

I was in my late twenties when Cathy told me I would be great in radio. Well, she might have actually said I had a face for radio... I spent a few months as an intern at Shadow Traffic, in the Hancock Building in Chicago. Shadow Traffic provided road reports for all of the radio stations in Chicago. On a clear day, you can see not only the major highways - the Dan Ryan, the Eisenhower, the Stevenson, Lake Shore Drive and the Skyway - you can see Indiana, Michigan, Wisconsin and Iowa. After my internship at Shadow Traffic, I worked part-time as a paid intern at US*99. I worked there a couple of years and then got a job overnights at Q-98.5 in Rockford. I was the local board operator for the nationally syndicated After Mid-Nite with Blair Garner. When the show was automated, I moved to mornings as the morning show producer. When I started working mornings, a new afternoon personality was hired. As we got to know each other, I found out how old he was and he learned how old I was.

Cathy's and my anniversary came up. He asked if we had to ask our parents' permission to get married. I told him Yeah, I went to dinner with Cathy's mom and dad and asked permission to marry her. He stopped me and asked if I had to get my parents' permission to get married. Our afternoon guy was eighteen, and he thought I was the same age, and wondered how I could be married for five years. We both had a big laugh when I told him that I was thirty and that Cathy and I got married when I was twenty-five. He told me that I did not look that old.

To this day, people still tell me that I do not act look my age. Of course, my wife has been telling me for the last quarter century to grow up. Now that we have kids, it's kind of a different story. She tells me to lighten up.

I'll never forget when Justin first came home. He had first started school. I guess all the kids started talking about their parents and how old their parents are. He came home and asked how old Cathy and I were. I think he was a little surprised that we're older parents - or at least, older than his friends' parents were in the newcomers program. Cathy and I talked to him one night about it, and we asked if he was having any problems with our ages. It may have been a challenge at first, but now he makes a joke about how old we are.

Ethan and Bella were a little surprised at first, too.

I have no explanation for this collar...

Bells saw this old picture of me, and laughed so hard she snorted. "That's you?!" I said, Yeah, that's me. She couldn't believe it at first.

There are moments when I wish that Cathy and I had started our family a little earlier - when we were younger. Just like there are times when I wish we hadn't missed our kids early years. Those are fleeting moments. What we have is pretty special and cool. As much as I would like to change things, I wouldn't want to change to much to miss what we have. Yeah, I wish we could have been there when each one of our kids was born, and been there from the beginning. We're still together now, and that's pretty cool, too. Cathy and I may not have been able to change their diapers or be there at the beginning. But there are still some pretty cool, special times ahead.

There are still a lot of good years ahead.

   

The One About All The Mowing

Dave sez,

"Dad, can I mow?"

What do you say to that?
I never thought I would be a Dad. Then, I thought I would be "lucky" enough to have just one child-a son; a little bullet-proof, indestructible dynamo named Justin. One child led us to another; and another to another, and now Cathy and I have a daughter. A girly-girl princess.

Part of me wants to let her off. It's okay, Bells, honey, we got this, me 'n' Ethan. The Boys got this. Go help Mom with her flower bed; or with the laundry or the dishes...

 

But waitaminute... This is the kind of daughter I want~

So, instead of saying what a part of me was thinking, I really said to my little princess,

Sure! Let me show you how Ethan, Justin, Mom and I mow!

My daughter, like her two brothers before her, started mowing like a drunken sailor. Ethan saw that he had a little competition, and started bragging about how good he is at mowing.

One thing I am learning, is this: Give direction; point in the right direction and let go. The hardest part is the letting go. Standing there, smiling while each one of the kids bobs and weaves across the lawn like a drunken sailor on shore leave~

...Or Scotty, sauced on Romulan Ale. That's the hard part, isn't it? Delegating a challenging task, and then watching someone else take that task and complete it in their own way. And, no matter what, telling him or her that they did a GREAT job... But, there might be one, or maybe two things to work on improving next time.

Justin mowing in 2012



Ethan mowing
 

Bella mowing

 

It's kind of important that they have fun building a good work ethic. It's got to be a positive experience. What's that old saying, Find something you love to do and you'll never have to work a day in your life? Not a bad thing to pass on.

To Our Daughter Bella, On The Occasion of Her First Anniversary

Dave sez~

Dear Bella,

Today marks your FIRST YEAR home!

I never thought I would ever get to be a dad. I decided I would be okay with that, and that I would develop other interests and hobbies to try and fill the hole I never really knew I had. Guys like cars. Guys like sports. Guys like movies with car chases and guns and lots of explosions. Some guys, like me, like science fiction, 'cos there's swords and space ships and battles and sometimes there are explosions. Sometimes there are monsters and dragons. The monsters and dragons get all slayed with swords in battles. Space ships have battles and they explode in big fireballs.

Your mother wanted children. I love your mom, so I wanted what she wanted. That's how life works. Then I realized that I wanted what she wanted for the same reasons. More because I wanted it and less because I wanted her to have what she wanted.

That was when we met your brother Justin. He came to us as a surprise. We were very surprised. Mom and I had gotten to where we didn't think we would ever be parents. I never thought I'd be a dad. Your brother came to us and I thought that I was blessed enough to have one child. A son. Now you've come home to us, and I realize just how generous our blessings are.

I never thought I would get to be a dad. Then I thought I was blessed enough. I am so glad that you've come home to Mom and me. You, and both your brothers keep me on my toes. There is never a moment when I am not setting an example. But, that is only half of it. The other half is that every moment that we all have together as a family is special. When it comes right down to it, the one thing we all have is our memories. Every moment builds on the one before it and stacks up under the next one.

We had a bit of a hiccup getting everything put together to bring you home last year. There was a small, simple typo. It took a little bit longer than we expected to bring you home. There was also the turmoil in Kiev and tension between Ukraine and Russia while we were there. But, we were able to be together. I will never forget what our facilitator Valentin said when we were done.

"She was worth waiting for, wasn't she?"

The waiting was very difficult, and I was very homesick. But when it is all said and done, it is worth the effort.

Every moment is special and every moment is precious. I'm so glad that we have them to share as a family, and memories to build. This passed year has been so exciting. I'm looking forward to many, many more with you, your brothers and Mom.

Happy anniversary, Bells.

Love,

Dad

The One About The Broken Arm

Edited by Cathy and Justin,

Dave sez,

I feel like a bad Dad.

No, not Billy Bob Thornton, in the 2003 Dimension Films, Buena Vista Pictures film Bad Santa - can you believe that film's getting a sequel!

I feel like a bad Dad.

"I'm a bad father."

Justin's a pretty tough kid. He plays soccer hard. He plays basketball hard. He was into karate for the sparring. He trampolines hard. Like any kid, he's ten feet tall and bulletproof. Indestructible. Any surprise that his favorite character is-

Along with Aang, Avatar: The Last Airbender and the characters from DragonballZ.

 

So, he was riding his bike home a few days ago, weaving and zig-zagging around, and he took a spill. He braced himself with his right hand when he went down. scraped up his shoulder and his knee. At first, his arm looked like a sprain. He could wiggle his fingers, but his forearm was a little swollen. Since he's a pretty tough kid, we gave him some aspirin and we kept an eye on the swelling and pain.

A tough kid, still complaining about his arm hurting, I took him to the Emergency Room for x-rays.

The x-rays showed a hairline fracture just above his right wrist. My heart sank. Sure enough, Justin had a broken arm.

The medical team did assure me that we did the right thing not to rush in right away; and it was a good thing we came in when we did. I still tend to angst over pert near everything... 

I'm not sure who took it harder. Our medical team walked Justin through the step of how he was going to get a cast on his broken wing. "We're going to give you a local anesthesia. Then we're going to numb the area of your arm."

"Is this gonna hurt?" Justin asked.

"We're going to give you a local anesthesia. Then we're going to numb the area of your arm. And then we'll put on a cast."

"Is this gonna hurt?"

No, buddy. Not a bit. They're going to give you an anesthetic, so you'll be all relaxed and you won't feel a thing. Then, they're going to numb the area of your arm so you won't even feel anything then. Then, they're going to put a cast on your arm so it mends and heals. What color do you want? Black? Blue? Hot Pink?

"Hot pink to impress the girls."

I was sitting next to his bed during the whole process. They gave him laughing gas. His has an unusually shaped face so it took some doing to get the mask right. I thought for sure they would get a helmet, so they could cover his whole head! Ha!

He finally relaxed and was floating on cloud nine. They numbed the area of his arm, and went to work.

While they were manipulating my son's forearm and snugging it inside the cast, I started to feel a little sweaty, cold and clammy, dizzy, light-headed and a little disoriented. That was probably the best time for me to look away, concentrate on my breathing and maybe put my head between my legs.

I asked for some water, and then some apple juice, too. Here's a picture: me in a bed, right next to my boy with the broken arm! Ha!

The good news is, we both pulled through with flying colors. Well, at least I did. Justin still has a broken arm in a hot pink cast. He can't play basketball, flag football, soccer, ride his bike or bounce on the trampoline for a while. It's not easy being grounded like this. Plus, he has to deal with me. I'd be more than happy to swaddle him in bubble wrap...just at least until he turns twenty-one.

We can't always do that, though, can we?

Our little "Boy of Steel" is finding some very simple tasks are a little more challenging now. Life is just a little more frustrating now.

We're all learning a little bit of patience.

  

Justin: My arm's broken!

Dad: Well, at least they didn't have to amputate... Psych!

Spring Ahead!

Dave sez,

So, once again, I am trying to explain to the kids how we Spring Ahead. Coming up next weekend, March 7th and 8th, we set the clocks ahead one hour. We lose an hour of sleep. In return we get more daylight. This is what is known as Daylight Saving(s) Time. Everything is new to Bella. New things can be kind of scary. Her first year home is winding down and she has managed to survive a lot of new things. First time on an airplane. New home, new environment. Rules. New food. New school. New friends. Rules. She's taking it all in very well. Patiently. A sort of blank expression on her face. Ethan and Justin are looking at me like I'm trying to add Purple and Banana to equal Twelve. And, by the way, I still love the way Justin pronounces the word "twelve"! He's kind of grown out of it, now, but when he first came home he would enunciate the word as "tweh-lev". Justin, what's ten plus two? Justin, what's thirteen minus one? Justin, how old are you? For me, that joke never got old. It did real quick for him, though. My son tried to summon all the midichlorians he was born with to Force-choke me to stop. Trying to explain the time change to Ethan and his brother just makes the two of them look at me cross-eyed. Ethan screws up his face and says, "Heh?"

Sunday, March 8th, 2015

This is an ideal example of customs that we have, however you want to classify "us" - Americans, Midwesterners, Parents - that our kids have to adapt to. I've shared how Justin's first breakfast at home was biscuits and gravy - my favorite. It was our first weekend home with Justin, Cathy asked what I wanted. I told her. She made it. Our son didn't say that he did not like biscuits and gravy. He said that biscuits and gravy was bad. We didn't have biscuits and gravy again until Ethan came home the following December. Friends told us that instead of not making biscuits and gravy because Justin didn't like it, Cathy should have made biscuits and gravy until Justin became more accustomed to it and learned to enjoy it as much as I did. What we are learning as parents is that all three kids need time to adjust and become accustomed to new things.

It's funny how confusing the time change still is to Justin. He's been home the longest. It's like explaining time travel.

It's like I'm explaining a trip around the sun or how to walk through the Guardian of Forever.

 

Justin keeps asking, "Wait a minute...will we be getting up later?" No, you'll be getting up for school at the same time. It will just seem later. Six in the morning will seem like seven in the morning. It will be six in the morning. But it will feel like seven. Kinda like the wind chill factor, where nine below actually feels like thirty below because of the driving, howling, biting wind.

"But won't we be getting up later?"

Justin gets confused because I actually try to explain how six o'clock will actually be more like seven o'clock. My Mom used to help me with math using blocks. She would have ten blocks; and then, take away five blocks and put them behind her back. She would ask me how many blocks she had after putting the five blocks behind her back. I would tell her she still had ten, five on the table in front of us and five behind her back. Which is why I have always considered Math my Lex Luthor. Or, Ultron (The Avengers 2: Age of Ultron in theaters May 1! I am so excited!!!) Stupid Math. Stupid building block of EVERYthing - including how we will eventually communicate with aliens!

So, I understand Justin's, Ethan's and Bella's confusion. I try to be as patient with them as I hope my Mom - and most every one else around me - is with me.

It's funny; because at some point, Justin is going to come and sit beside me and ask me what time it really is.

      

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First Dance

Dave sez, I guess I didn't have to worry after all. Justin is enjoying Friends. With no side effects. He thinks Ross is pretty whiney and Joey is pretty dumb. I guess, when he gets older, he'll appreciate it differently than he does now... Cathy and I are watching it a little slower than he is. We just finished the episode where Phoebe's brother is in love with his teacher, which is a little on the creepy side. Cathy and I agree that we're not fans of Giovanni Ribisi. We've seen him in James Cameron's Avatar and as Nicholas Cage's younger brother in Gone in 60 Seconds. As much as I liked the old The Mod Squad, I couldn't bring myself to see it because he was in it. We haven't seen him in a role that he had any redeeming or likeable qualities as a character. Hopefully, you won't think less of me for not liking him as Phoebe's brother and not liking his whole storyline. The real-life stories like that don't have punch lines, laugh tracks or happy endings. Not everybody grows up like Rachel, or Monica and Ross. Some people grow up like Chandler and Phoebe. Ribisi's storyline as Frank, Jr. is just bizarre. Even more bizarre is that it's played for laughs.

 
Two months ago, there was a "bend in the road". Bella's First Christmas and First New Year's was quieter and more low key than Ethan's and Justin's were. So was First Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

I had the day off yesterday, and the phone rang. We missed answering it. A couple minutes later, my cell phone rang. It was Bella. From school. At first, I was worried that she had missed the bus. She was excited on the phone. She was asking if she could go to a dance at school last night. Once I figured that out, I handed the phone to Cathy. I grabbed a paper bag to breathe into.

Last night was First Dance.

I think I've done pretty well up until now. Justin has had his "brushes" with girls. He talks to Mom, because Mom "understands girls". That's because she are one. Ethan is all about video games right now.

Bella was very excited about her First School Dance. She doted over her make-up and what she was going to wear. I chewed on my finger nails. The car ride over to school, I told her to have fun...but if anything happened - any thing at all - I told her to be sure to tell an adult. I reminded her that she could call Mom and me at any time, and I would come get her. I even asked her if she knew how to dial 9-1-1.

When I picked her up from school, I asked her if she had fun.

"No!" she told me. I had mixed feelings about hearing that. On the one hand, deep down inside I was cheering, "Yes!" I told her out loud that I was sorry to hear that. I asked her why. She said there was this one boy. Oh, there you go, it usually starts with one boy. He kept looking over at her, but he never came over to talk to her. My princess daughter told me that she thought this boy was too nervous. I told her that boys usually are pretty nervous about making a good impression - or, the right impression. Bella told me that she and her girlfriend spent most of their time at the dance together and all she had to eat there was chips. And she was starving! So, while she and Mom talked about what happened at First Dance, I threw a pizza on the Pizza Pizazz.

I love the personalities I see coming out in my three children. I love their senses of humor. Bella is usually pretty quiet. The boys are usually pretty loud and bombastic. There are moments, though, when Bella's eyes bug out and sparkle and she gets pretty animated and she makes jokes that make Cathy and I both laugh. She's a budding Tina Fey. She's witty and sarcastic and funny. She's funny in a dry, British sort of way.

Someday, Cathy and I are going to "adopt" a young man as her Prince Charming.

I'm probably going to have to invest in a lot of paper bags.