The Last of the Firstest

Dave sez,

Hi! We're Cathy and Dave. Thanks for taking the time to get to know us and our Number One, Justin. We hope that our journey has given you an idea of what adoption - especially, international adoption - and first time parenthood is like. If our story has at all touched you, we hope that it has inspired you.

Cathy and I are having a "discussion". I looked at the calendar and realized that, as we get closer to Justin's 11th birthday - his second here at home - we've come to the end of memorable "firsts".

...like FIRST wrist-band.

It was kind of a last minute idea I had. Cathy couldn't take off work and Justin had a Friday off from summer school, so I thought it would be perfect if he and I went to Country Jam in Eau Claire together. We'd spend the day together. We're still at that bonding stage, where it's important for us to spend as much time together as possible. He hasn't reached a point where he is comfortable, secure and brave enough to sleep in his own room by himself. Either I sleep in there with him on the other bunk bed, or he sleeps with one of us in our bed. That's been going on for nigh unto a year. (I think you know what I'm talking about; wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say-no-more-say-no-more)

Anyway, getting him ready for a FULL day away from home on a bus ride to Wisconsin for an ALL-day outdoor concert was like mobilizing for battle. Portable DVD player - check. DS - check. iPod - check. We both agreed it might be kinda cool to carry along our mitts and a baseball to play catch. He ALWAYS says he's not hungry, until the worst possible moment - when there's really no way to get food - so we stayed one step ahead of him on that. We condensed the refrigerator to a cooler. We pretty much shared all the food...

If you've seen the videos you know how brutal a day it was on both of us. If you haven't...check them out here ~ http://www.youtube.com/user/AirDave817?feature=mhee

He enjoyed Lauren Alaina and Craig Morgan. I don't think there was any way to prepare him for Montgomery Gentry...

I'm okay with Justin not being a fan of Country. Whether or not he is, he will be an individual and express himself in his own unique way, and I will be able to appreciate him that much more, just like I do his mother. Hopefully, one of the lessons he learns is to appreciate the uniqueness of others.

We've been kinda concerned about how to balance his steady diet of electronics while encouraging him to improve his reading skills. He's a boy - boys are naturally more active. It would be a delicate balance to try to get him to sit still long enough to turn pages.

I'm not sure how it happened. Maybe all the time he and I have gone to bed at night at nine, and Mom has sat up a little longer with the bedroom light on reading...maybe she had a subtle influence on him - like erosion - she wore him down. He finally picked up the copy of Diary of a Wimpy Kid we bought him and - - he FINISHED it this morning! He started reading it just a couple of days ago!

We picked up Rodrick Rules at Barnes & Noble, grabbed a bite at the mall food court, then went back for books three four and five after Justin told us he wanted to finish the second book by Friday so he could go see the third movie when it opens this weekend!

I remember MY first books. Strange Companion by Dayton O. Hyde. My Side of the Mountain. Encyclopedia Brown. The Luke Skywalker Chronicles. The Hobbit. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

As an adult, I'm discovering The Chronicles of Narnia, Doctor Who tie-in novels and rediscovering Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings trilogy. One does not SIMPLY walk into Mordor, y'know...

After finishing her degree, Cathy was reading like there was no tomorrow...well until lately but she still gets in a bit of reading every day.

These are the last couple of firsts. We may be surprised by other firsts in the next couple of weeks...but once we celebrate his second birthday with us it's just a matter of time til we're up to our first full year together. Right after his birthday visit, we got our invitation to go over and bring him home. He was HERE three weeks, we were THERE six...and there you are...

August 10th.

October 23rd.

Eyes As big As Saucers...

Donate online to Bringing Shani Home at Razoo

Dave sez,

Hi! We're Cathy and Dave. Thanks for following our continuing adoption journey; with Justin at home and bringing Shani home!

We're coming near the end of a number of "FIRSTS" with Justin. Our first anniversary of his homecoming is coming up in a few months, but we got to celebrate his 10th birthday last August. That was his FIRST birthday with us. Over the last few days we enjoyed a few firsts. Last night was his first Fourth of July Fireworks. He told us that he had seen fireworks at Christmas in the orphanage. But, this was first fireworks with US.

Cathy has been putting off getting new clothes for work. She and I have been making sacrifices and doing without a few things here and there while we're trying to bring both boys home. She couldn't put it off any longer, so last Saturday was FIRST clothes shopping with Mommy. Since the pool is becoming our second home, Cathy told Justin that his pool privilege would be based on his behavior. No rushing Mommy. No complaining. No whining. Then she told Justin the same thing.

Clothes shopping for a guy is easy. It's all just based on size. Find a shirt or a pair of pants that fit - boom you're done. As President Bush said, "It ain't rocket surgery."

Clothes shopping for Mommy is...something else entirely.

We walked into the clothing store and were immediately greeted by the sales associate, who told us about the specials. That only works in a women's clothing store. Unless you're offering an oil change and a car wash - just let me get my jeans in peace, please for the love of all that's holy! There's probably a game on somewhere!

And then, it began.

Justin started a running commentary as Mommy shopped.

"Do you like this, Mommy? You would look SO good in this! This would look SO good on you?" It was the same sound that one hears, first thing in the morning as the sun rises with that first cup of coffee. Birds greeting the rising sun. Singing praises.

The boy has a LOT to learn.

The proper clothes shopping procedure is as follows:

Cathy: Do YOU like this (insert item of clothing here)?

Me: What do YOU think of it?

Cathy then shares what she can mix and match with said item of clothing; what days of the week she can wear it on, the weather that day, and how at the end of that day if the weather is right, I should FINALLY get around to mowing the lawn, instead of keep putting off - what are you waiting for? - The lawn to mow itself? The mower's not going to push itself, mister!

Me: You're gonna look great in that. Why don't you go try that on while sit here and count my blessings - Number One is you, babe!

Cathy goes into the dressing room to try on a couple of tops and Justin finds a corner mirror. Y'know, the one with three sides, so women can see why us guys are always smiling...As he's practicing his karate moves in the mirror, the sales associate comes by and starts asking the ladies in the dressing rooms if they NEED anything, can she get them ANY thing! I'm sitting there, thinking to myself - if I'm tryin' on jeans, I think I'd like a slice of pizza with bacon on it and a beer to wash that bad boy down - hook me up with that, would you?! Get a big screen in here on one of these walls so I don't miss a play! There's a game on SOME where!

Cathy comes out to show off her unique style and taste in apparel and Justin just gushes. Which includes a karate move where his foot comes thisclose to Mommy's tummy. That's love right there. "If I'm HITTING you, I'm LOVING you! If I'm hitting you HARD, I'm loving you A LOT."

Near the front counter, there's a counter with jewelry. There were at least three or four jewelry stores between the food court and the clothing store we shopped.

I now have my Christmas list made out for me, with a MAP. "Popi! We need to come back here and buy presents - plural - for Mommy!"

Now, I'll be the FIRST to admit that I'm no rocket-surgeon. Half of the adventures I have are sitcom funny because of the things I do to myself. I'm my own worst enemy.

I'm either, A) not charging my phone enough; 2) charging it for LONG enough; or D) my battery is near the end of it's life and I need to get a new one.

I had to work on location yesterday. I was at a car wash for their annual fourth of July customer appreciation day. Free car wash, free food. Fortunately, it is not too far from the house. we drive by it all the time.

To check in with the studio, We use the phone. I call the studio, the studio calls me. This would be the ONE time I would NEED a fully charge on my phone. After the first call, I notice my phone has one bar. So, my brain starts thinking about solutions. Cathy decided to go into work to catch up on a few things, so if I had called her, she would have just laughed. I didn't expect anyone inside the car wash to have a charger that would work on my phone, and I don't like looking unprepared in front of a client, so I thought I would take a risk. I called the house. I asked Justin to find my phone charger on the kitchen counter and ride it over to me. This would be an epic adventure that he would just love. He could ride his bike. I walk him through where I am from where he is at home. Time passes. My phone completely dies. I call the house again from inside. I hear this small voice tell me, "Popi, I don't know how to find you!" So, I give him the option to stay home and I'll be okay. "No! No! I want to find you! Where are you?" Cue the horns for the Superman: The movie theme. Okay. I walk him through how to find me. A few minutes pass and I hear this wind. It's my boy on his bicycle zooming toward me and he has the biggest smile n his face. "I heard the music and followed it right to you!"

That's MY boy!

Not only did he bring me my phone charger, but he asked me if I was hungry or thirsty and he went and got me a Pepsi!

I think we'll keep him.

We had a conversation about the condition in which he left the house. He told me he left the garage door open. We live in a great neighborhood. But...

We also have three dogs. House dogs. Yard dogs.

This is the same boy that, in August, while I was mowing the lawn, I heard him calling me because ALL THREE dogs got out with him when he wanted to ride his bike...

"Did you close both doors?"

"No. I left them open."

Now HIS open and MY open are different in translation. My open is that there would be three dogs joining Alex and Marty in rainbow afros in Monte Carlo. Fortunately that is NOT his definition.

After explaining to him exactly WHAT my definition of OPEN means, he puffs out his chest and tells me, "I can ride back and check that, and be right ba- !" And with that he was gone on the wind.

When I grow up, I want to be just like HIM.

It's been a few years since I've seen fireworks. As cool as fireworks are, fireworks are pretty much fireworks. It's not really the fireworks, it's the whole experience. It's the spot where you're watching the fireworks. Maybe some snacks. Maybe a beverage.

The most important part is WHO you watch the fireworks with.

As I was watching the fireworks last night with my wife, number one son and my friends, I realized how different things have become since a year ago January. I spent a week getting to know my son when he and I did not speak the same language. He was quiet and shy then. THEN.

Last night, he was a little firecracker himself. Bouncing and flipping around. Cathy - or as I like to call her "good cop" - got him some glow discs. Y'know those glow things that make hoops, whatever they're called. We played ring toss with those suckers until the fireworks started. Once the fireworks started it was "Whoa!" every other word. Every other word was "Cool!"

There is no better sound than Justin and Cathy talking. I have absolutely no idea what they were talking about. It doesn't matter. Just hearing the sound of their voices is pretty awesome.

I don't deserve the life I have been given. I haven't earned it. That's what makes every moment - every FIRST - so memorable and valuable. We're winding down our firsts with Justin; but, pretty soon we'll have them all over again with Shani. That'll probably be my THIRD childhood...

The View From The Top

Donate online to Bringing Shani Home at Razoo


Dave sez,

Hey, we're Cathy and Dave. Thanks for taking the time to get to know us and follow our continuing adventure with our Number One Son, Justin, and our journey to bring Number Two Son (Ethan) Shani Home! Right now, Shani is spending a few weeks in Crimea at the beach on the Black Sea. We're still selling pieces of his puzzle to bring him home...

Let me tell you just how incredible my FIRST Father Day was!

It all started in 2010, between Christmas and New Year's when I posted here on Facebook that my New Year's Resolution was to be a Dad in 2011. Almost instantly, I was connected with my son. I was blessed to start the new year with a week of vacation to be able to spend time getting to know him. I'll never forget the drive to pick him up. I'll never forget how i was introduced to him. The ride through rush hour traffic back home. The fact that neither of us had to go anywhere and that we could spend the week together sitting around the house in our peejays watching cartoons. Up to that point, Cathy and I had been married nearly 21 years and I really hadn't been able to enjoy watching cartoons. Now I had someone to do that with. That, and play video games. We'd been trying to have children the entire twenty years we'd been married. We'd been trying to adopt for seven years. It took nine months to bring Justin home. We had so much help doing that, that more an more late last week I started to think that Thanksgiving was coming up. I really had so much to be grateful for.

I'm a dad now. I have a son...and another one on the way.

I think my boy is pretty amazing. In a lot of ways he's everything I'm not. He's very athletic. He's good at karate, soccer and basketball. He likes baseball and football. We're still working on his interest in reading. Being more physical and athletic, trying to get him to sit still and read is a bit of a challenge.But he's agreed to work on his reading during the week, if we get to do other fun things on the weekend. we just spent two days of him asking "What're we gonna be doing?"

He really doesn't have to do much of anything to be pretty amazing. If you've seen one picture of him and his smiling face, you know just how amazing he is. We don't really plan a whole lot ahead of time what we're going to do. The best fun we have is going outside and shooting hoops. We have a lot of fun and laugh alot playing basketball. He's still working on slang. Everything is points no matter what sport. make a basket? He scored a point. Made a goal in soccer? Scored another point. Got a hit in baseball? Did it score a point? I love explaining baseball to Justin! He and I go out and I pitch to him. When he hits the ball, I give him the play by play. That was a foul ball. That was a base hit; you have a man on first base. That was a double; you have a man on third and second.Okay, that hit scored your man on third. You have one run. "I have a point?" Yeah, you got a point. In baseball points are runs. Baseball's like diarrhea that way. Okay, I'm standing there pitching to my son thinking that, knowing he won't get the joke. I think it's pretty funny.

We were all pretty excited about my FIRST Father's Day, so I got my swag on Saturday, instead of on Sunday. First we went out and bought three water rifle/cannons. Three monster squirt guns. Fill 'em up, pump 'em a bit and then fire! We basically stood out in the back yard drenching each other! We were soaked to the bone when we were done. It was so much fun. Drench. Refill. Drench. Repeat. The first gift I got was a pair of shorts and a Father's Day tee shirt. I was telling Justin how cool I thought the shirt and shorts were. Smiling at me, he said - and I quote him verbatim - "Oh, that ain't nothin'. The rest of your presents, that's something. This ain't nothin'!" I actually LOL-ed!

The plan was to give me my Father's Day gifts on Father's Day, but none of us could wait, so as we were drying out, Justin gave me my bag o' swag. He told me to open Mommy's card first.Then I opened his card. It was Batman watching Super Friends in the Batcave. He and Mommy got me Hot Wheels versions of both the 1966 and 1989 Batmobiles. I got Captain America on a motorcycle that shoot a rocket.

The best part is that my son loves me and I love him.

What he wrote in the card is so amazing. In pencil, on Batman's chair he wrote:

"Happy Father's Day! You are the best Popi I ever had! I love you very much! Love Justin"

My FIRST Father's Day started during the last week of 2010, and just completed yesterday. Now, I am working toward my FIRST Father's Day with my second son Ethan for 2012. It will be pretty hard to top, but I'm pretty sure his brother and mother will be happy to help him out. Should be pretty easy. Maybe a Hot Wheels Batcycle...

Putting The Pieces Together

Can you believe that summer is almost here?  We are praying that we will get to travel to Ukraine in July or August! 

Some friends have decided to help us kick off a new fundraiser called, "Shani's Puzzle" to help relieve some of the financial burden we face as we follow God's call to adopt our son.  This fundraiser has the potential to raise $5,130 towards the total adoption cost. Here’s how it works:

We have created a 513-piece jigsaw puzzle (see pix below) with Shani's picture and a special quote, "Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart - but in it."   It will be something we are eager to display in our home someday… but we won’t be able to put the pieces together without your help!

For every $10 donated, you will be contributing 1 piece to the puzzle. We will write your name on the back of the piece(s) to symbolize your partnership in making Shani part of our family forever.

You may buy as many pieces of the puzzle as you'd like. Here are some examples:

$10 = 1 piece
$50 = 5 pieces
$70 = 7 pieces
$100 = 10 pieces
$200 = 20 pieces

You may make your tax deductible donation in one of the following ways:1) By clicking selecting an amount and clicking on the "Donate" button in the upper right-hand column of our Razoo page.

http://www.razoo.com/story/Bringing-Shani-Home



2) By giving your donation in person.
3) By mailing your donation.

Thank you for prayerfully considering partnering with us on this journey!

Family

Dave sez,

I'm the youngest in my family. My sister, Paula, is the oldest. I have two older brothers. Let me share some cool memories with you.

When I was a younger kid, my sister would pull me up on her feet and I would get to pretend I was flying. It was great. We were very close growing up. So close, that when she went away for a weekend with friends, I had a little too much chocolate and blew up like blueberry Violet in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I managed to deflate by the time she got home. She's married to a really great guy. My nephew Sean is literally in Paradise. He served our country a couple years in the Marines in Afghanistan; now he's in Hawaii. I keep telling him to say "Hi!" to Tom Sellick for me! My nephew Kevin and his wife, Erin, live close by their folks with their little sweetheart, Ivy.

It was right around the time that my sister got married that my Mom started working a little bit more on my reading skills. I started reading books. As a reward, she introduced me to comic books.

Not too long afterward, my older brother Tim took me to see Star Wars.

My brothers got me interested in sports. Mostly baseball. My brother Matt, and Tim, loved baseball and taught me how to pitch and run bases. Matt always told me to keep my eye on the ball. The first time I pitched, he kept telling me that. Keep your eye on the ball, baby brother, he said. I did. I kept my eye on it as he hit it back to me. I kept my eye on it the bigger and bigger it got. It got as big as a moon ("That's no moon...")

We all had a good laugh over the black eye I got from the worn league ball. We still laugh over that.

Cathy and I hadn't had a chance to see my sister and the family since Cathy's birthday last year. We hadn't had a chance to introduce them to their new nephew, Justin.

We didn't want him to be nervous about meeting them. So I started telling him that I really wanted him to meet his Uncle John and Aunt Paula. He has a big family, with a lot of aunts and uncles, but these were the real deal. He even wrote on his calendar on the Friday before Memorial Day, "Going to si (sp) Pop's sister". He was a little nervous with the introductions, but he warmed right up to them. It's good that he could tell right away, just how cool we already know they are.

I told my sister that her nephew is the one of the Midwest producers and distributors of sarcasm. "I like him already!" she told me.

We had a bit of a bumpy patch. We went go-carting and Justin was all excited to drive. Until he was measured for height, and he was told that he was too short to drive his own cart. That was a major bummer. Until Mommy got him into one of the fastest carts on the planet. She lapped me, John and Kevin, with Justin waving, yelling "Hi!" and laughing at how slow we were.

The rest of the weekend was fantastic! A little bit of soccer. A pool party. Some Spongebob. Usually, Justin gets a bed and we sleep on the floor on an air mattress. This time, we got a bed, he got an air mattress. We wore him out so that he fell asleep and had sweet dreams! He dreamed that he was the Black Power Ranger fighting Moogers.

So, all in all a pretty awesome weekend!

Playing Ketchup - Or - You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can't Tuna Fish!

Dave sez,

Sorry it's been a couple of weeks since I've shared an update on our adventure...

It was Monday. We had just gotten back from a couple of days with friends in Chicago for our anniversary. Friends we hadn't seen in a year, since the benefit on Cathy's birthday to bring Justin home. We were back to work. Justin was back to school. I was just getting home from work, walking through the front door.

"Hi, Popi!" Just called to me from the living room. He was watching television. Cathy was making dinner in the kitchen. "Um, Friday, come on you go with me to buy Mommy present for to go with the card I buy Mommy." He was talking about Mother's Day, coming up the next Sunday, Friday would be the best day that he and I could go out together and shop for Mommy's Mother's Day gift(s). I love the way he put it. We all knew that I would be taking him to the store to do his Mother's Day shopping. He wasn't so much asking, but he was taking the initiative to invite me to go with him while he did his Mother's Day shopping.

Cathy had been a little disappointed that all I got her for our anniversary was a card. I'd been buy with work and forgotten to pick up her gift. So, Justin had us take him out to a store near where we were staying and he got us anniversary gifts with the money he had on him. He got Cathy flowers and nail polish. He got me a Mountain Dew Amp and Altoids. There were a couple of things that amazed me by this. First, he saw a need and he made a decision. Second, even though he's only been home with us for a little over six months, he knows what we like - probably me more than Cathy - I'm basic that way.

Days went by, and Friday came. What we're finding is that Justin is kinda stubborn. Just like we are sometimes. I can be stubborn with Cathy and she can be stubborn with me. Fridays, Justin spars in karate class. He gives it 100%. When he's done he's ready for a shower. It's the one day of the week that Mommy is adamant that he takes a shower. They debate it every Friday. It's a rough day all around because Justin is out of school from Friday afternoon until Monday morning. And. He. Knows. It. he gets to stay up late Friday night and sleep in on Saturday morning. He's pretty much like a can of soda that's been shaken up and THEN opened.

So, you can probably imagine what Mommy and Justin were like when they picked me up after karate on Friday. Grabbing the door handle on the car was like pulling the tab on the can.

Mommy had decided that she didn't want Mother's Day present to go with the cool card that Justin had picked out. We had been in Target a week or two before and Justin and I had been looking at Mother's Day cards and he had picked an Elmo sound card that said "I love you, Mommy!!!" and then Elmo giggles. It was perfect. I told Justin that Mommy doesn't get to make the rules for Mother's Day. She doesn't get to decide whether or not she gets Mother's Day presents. Her birthday, our anniversary, Mother's Day, Christmas, those are times when he and I decide what to get her, to show how very much we love her.

I kinda fumbled through it, but I told him we show Mommy how much we love her by how we act and treat her. Mommy and I don't ask Justin to do anything we don't think he can do. But, as a family, we all make a promise to each other to love one another and do things for one another because of that love. And, best we can, we stick to our word and keep our promises to one another. One thing about Justin. His word is his bond. Unless he's playing or teasing or kidding, he means what he says. Ninety-nine and forty-four one hundredths percent of the time, he's playing.

So, Mommy took us both to the store. She went shopping for peace of mind... in aisle seven up on the shelf, it was labeled "chocolate". Justin went shopping for Mommy Present. He started with four or five bottles of nail polish. different colors of the rainbow. Green, red, blue, purple. "Is this enough? Should I get more?" he asked me. "What we get now?" Well, how 'bout perfume? "What she like?" I NOW know what Mommy's favorite scent is. But for the purposes of this post, and a lesson I wanted Justin to learn, we found a bottle that he could smell, and I asked if that was something he wanted to smell on Mommy. He gave me a big smile and said yeah, that was a good smell and he wanted to smell that on Mommy. "Is this enough?" he asked again. "What we get now?" Well, you said something about ear rings didn't you? From make-up we went over to jewelry. He got her a card of ear rings. "That way she can pick the one's she want to wear, right Popi?" That's right, buddy-boy (Dear God, please let me grow up to be like my son when I get bigger.) "Is this enough?...What we get her NOW?" Justin's eyes got as big as saucers, "I want get Mommy cup to drink soup from!" Ohhh-kaaaaay. Let's go find Mommy a mug as big as her head, then, so she can have soup or hot chocolate or something. Housewares it was. As we were trying to choose between plastic tumblers, tea glasses, coffee mugs, insulated cups, et al, a very nice man with his two boys saw us and pointed us toward a Mother's Day section with mugs that read "Best Mommy in the World". We got her one, a plaque to hang on the wall and a scented candle. "Is this enough? What we get her NOW?" I looked over the booty we had for Mommy, and then pointed out how much he had to spend. Even if we got ONE of everything in the whole world, Justin, it probably would never be enough to show Mommy, just how much we love her - but it's a good start.

It was really hard, because at this point, I wanted Mother's Day to be Friday INSTEAD of Sunday! I managed to contain myself. We took Mommy out to lunch and gave her her present and her Elmo sound card.

We have peaks and we have valleys. The good thing is the valleys are never deep or wide. The peaks are always magnificent.

"...There Are Angels Among Us..."

Dave sez,

Hi! We're Cathy and Dave! Thanks for taking the time to get to know us, and letting us share our story with you!

This coming Sunday, May 6th is our 22nd anniversary. That's "Purple Heart", isn't it? Twenty-two years of Cathy putting up with me! She's an amazing woman isn't she? Because what most people don't realize is that on top of being a GEEK, I'm kind of a JERK. Shocking, yes, I know, but we're not all perfect. What she saw was a lump of clay that she could mold and shape into a fine work of art. Little did she realize that I was a LIFE-LONG project. She's going to improve on me - even if it kills ME! We're hoping it doesn't come to that.

Twenty-two years.

A lot of those years are made up of trying to start a family, have children and live happily ever after.

We were married fourteen years when we saw a fertility specialist. Most of the time leading up to that point was spent getting our careers going. And when I say "OUR", I mean "MINE".

The fertility specialist diagnosed Cathy with cancer, and she went in immediately for surgery. The cancer she had was life-threatening. It also changed our option to adoption.

The next seven years we spent on one waiting list or another trying to adopt.

Just when we were about to give up hope, God answered our prayers and every prayer on our behalf, and Justin came into our lives.

Last Monday, April 23rd marked six months that he's been home for good.

I am always reminded of how thankful and grateful Cathy and I are for every prayer, every word of encouragement, every gesture of kindness and generosity from people that have been touched by Justin's story. There ARE angels among us.

My cell phone ran at bedtime the other night. I listened to the message the next morning and called the woman who left the message back. Her brother had passed away and she was going through his papers and found my business card. She wanted to talk to me about him. She wanted me to talk to her about him. I'm sad that I didn't recognize his name when she first mentioned it. But then she said I'd written on the back of the card, "Cathy And Dave's Adoption Journey on Facebook" on the back.

Then it all clicked.

Her brother had invited us to breakfast one morning because he had heard about us and wanted to hear more. We met at Old Country Buffet. He brought more than a half dozen photo albums, full of pictures he had taken on trips to Russia. Where he visited orphanages. Offering his time. Humanitarian aid. Here in the states, he had organized a system of shipping care packages with clothes...shoes for the children in the orphanages. It was something on the scale of what high school students do for our service men and women stationed overseas defending our freedom on foreign soil.

Little did we realize when we had breakfast with him that he was being treated for lymphoma.

He passed away, just a few weeks ago, at the end of March.

There have been moments over the last seven years when I couldn't see the forest for the trees, as my dad always said. I've thought that our adoption journey was all about ME. The one that WASN'T diagnosed with cancer. Our story has NEVER been about me. It's been about Cathy. It's been about Justin. It's also about his cousin, who will soon be his brother, Ethan (Shani) It's about every person, like you, that has been touched by Justin's journey to us, too.

Thank you for joining us on our journey. Our adventure in parenthood.Thank you for letting us share our story with you. Our ups and downs, our successes and misteaks - yes, that WAS intentional.

My good friend, Craig, who runs Book Review here in town is one of the many people touched by our story. The day before our 22nd anniversary, is the annual Free Comic Book Day. He is donating what he makes on Saturday at his store, Book Review, in the Hillcrest Shopping Center off the 19th Street exit of highway 52, to help us bring Shani home. I've been looking through some of the stuff I've been hoarding to see what I can part with on Saturday to add to that.

If you can make it, great. If you can't, we hope that you will still join us as we share our adventures with our boys.

Thanks for letting us share our story with you.